Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 19

Thread: Tabloid cover magazine roundup: April 8, 2008 - Jennifer Aniston adopting!!!

  1. #1
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,932

    Default Tabloid cover magazine roundup: April 8, 2008 - Jennifer Aniston adopting!!!

    April 02nd, 2008

    NATIONAL ENQUIRER HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME — JENNIFER ANISTON TO ADOPT!


    Warning to all celebrities!
    If there is ever a chance that you will be a big, big star and entering your late 30s/early 40s and you may not have kids at that point: NEVER CARRY A BABY IN PUBLIC.
    What are the details on this story. Ooooh! We get “his name.” Plus, the nursery and clearly Jen is sparing no expense by shelling out nearly $300k. Let’s add some more Jen misery to the mix and talk about her “secret” miscarriage. Again, in case you didn’t read earlier today the word “secret” usually accompanies a story that can’t be confirmed or denied.
    In other National Enquirer news, David Perel brings us the story of ANOTHER pregnant man. OMFG!
    Top inset is strong with Nicole Richie’s crash diet - and should have been given more play on this cover.
    Bottom Line: Cover will sell cuz you can never underestimate the American publics gullalibility! Many old ladies in Topeka will no doubt BELIEVE that Jen is carrying her newly adopted son. I’m not kidding!
    Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards NATIONAL ENQUIRER HAS NO SHAME — JEN ANISTON TO ADOPT!
    April 02nd, 2008

    Globe , Patrick Swayze , Tony Frost
    GLOBE SEES NO HOPE FOR PATRICK SWAYZE


    Sad for Patrick Swayze. I mean really sad!
    So how do I say this delicately???
    This is a strong cover for Tony Frost and the Globe. It’s emotional and compelling.
    The main line “No Hope” says it all! Plus, the pic of Patrick smoking (although old at this point) is great visual evidence. It basically says to me that he’s given up and doesn’t give a shit. He will smoke all he wants.
    Bottom Line: Increase in sales for The Globe and a very smart move by Tony Frost! Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards GLOBE SEES NO HOPE FOR PATRICK SWAYZE April 02nd, 2008
    Angelina Jolie Sex Scandal , In Touch Weekly , Richard Spencer
    ANGELINA JOLIE’S SEX SCANDAL REVEALED ON INTOUCH COVER!


    Let me guess.
    Last week’s happy, happy, joy, joy wedding cover didn’t do that well.
    So Richard Spencer’s In Touch still believes in some good old fashioned raunchy 'bad girl' Angelina. (In scandalous Angelina we trust!) And someone in the photo department googled up/bought the rights to more of these STEAMY pictures of an under-aged Angelina Jolie.
    The cover provides great promise with ”what she said during the shoot was even more shocking.” Personally I can’t wait to see what a crazy 16 year-old girl said as relayed to a pseudo-porn cameraman moonlighting doing headshots.
    “How Janet Got Thin, Again” is one of the insets. As I predicted, this was an obvious story to go for this week.
    Bottom Line: Readers love reading even old quotes about people talking shit on Angelina so this will inevitably do well on the newsstand. Not as well as those olden golden days of yore, but well.
    April 02nd, 2008


    BRITNEY & KEVIN’S SECRET GETAWAY WEEKEND!




    Oh Candace Trunzo - you’ve out done yourself on this one.
    My immediate reaction to this story is that this is total BS!
    And my reaction was confirmed when I opened to page 49 and read the intro to the story:

    “After a quite meeting over Easter, the exes ARE PLANNING a getaway weekend with the kids in Maui!
    Notice that the words ARE PLANNING are NOT on the cover.
    Candace, you’re tricking the reader and you know it. Shame on you!
    The old picture doesn’t help this cover either. That was the first tip-off that this story was weak!
    Another clue is the word “Secret.” Anything that is a secret can not be confirmed or denied.
    And now let’s look at the pathetic insets.
    Shiloh’s chipped tooth? Who did it? Star actually goes there. You know where. They are (in my mind) suggesting that one of her loving parents (cough, that inattentive slut Angelina) did it. Ugh!
    And Lindsay’s back on drugs. That’s like saying the sky is blue.
    Bottom Line: This cover will tank!
    April 02nd, 2008

    Britney Spears' Mental Illness , Janice Min , US Weekly
    US WEEKLY SHARES HOW BRITNEY SPEARS IS LIVING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS


    My first reaction to this cover — Great f^&k&n picture of Britney!
    It’s emotional. It grabs me because she is looking right at me.
    My second reaction to this cover:

    DEPRESSING!
    Do I really want to know from a celebrity weekly what it’s like to live with mental illness? Janice Min seems to think so.
    If you’re into this story, then you’ll like the details because the story seems new.
    Let’s move to the insets - which made me laugh (forget poor Brit’s mental illness for just a moment).
    Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt sleep in separate beds because they are actors. Otherwise, there would be absolutely no drama on the Hills.
    And “Why Carrie and Chace Split.” Not only does this story feel super-old but we all know why they split. Chace wants to spend more gay guy time with J.C.
    Bottom Line: This week for US Weekly is a toss up and really could go either way on the newsstand. I believe the picture is so strong that it will do quite well. Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards US WEEKLY SHARES HOW BRITNEY SPEARS IS LIVING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS
    April 02nd, 2008

    Britney Spears Diet , OK Magazine , Sarah Ivens
    OK! STRIKES GOLD WITH BRITNEY SPEARS DIET COVER?


    Sarah Iven’s OK Magazine pulls out a shockingly good cover this week for many reasons.
    Public sentiment is on Britney’s side so the reader will again want to look like Britney - at least the one they saw on “How I Met Your Mother.”

    It’s also diet season! What reader would not want a fast fix for their body as they get ready to head to the beach.
    Visually, Ivens shows the before picture so you have the evidence that Britney was FAT just a month ago.
    No pills or Lipo for Brit? Not sure if I believe that to be true but you never know.
    Bottom Line: This issue will sell way above OK Magazine’s weekly average on the newsstand! (because of the good Britney cover) Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards OK! STRIKES WITH BRITNEY SPEARS DIET COVER!
    Last edited by ingi; April 2nd, 2008 at 06:25 PM.

  2. #2
    Elite Member viggofan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    1,751

    Default

    such bs imo.
    YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT
    (M. Jagger/K. Richards)

  3. #3
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,932

    Default

    Julia Roberts sister in law tries to burn her house down and Oprah/Obama blowup!! Enquiring minds NEED to know...
    Last edited by ingi; April 2nd, 2008 at 05:45 PM.

  4. #4
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,932

    Default

    ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY SET FOR REDESIGN!


    Entertainment Weekly is gearing up for a redesign, according to WWD. The magazine is holding a redesign “bake-off” to see who will oversee the transformation. An EW spokesperson denied there was a “bake-off.”
    BTW - a “bake-off” is held when the powers that be have absolutely no idea what to do with a magazine. It’s often positioned as a “sophisticated” approach to welcoming new ideas but is in fact the lowest form of desperation. Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY SET FOR REDESIGN! Hillary Clinton Barack Obama Cover , Martin Peretz , New Republic
    MARTIN PERETZ’S NEW REPUBLIC SAYS DEMOCRATS MUST DECIDE NOW INSTEAD OF LATER!


    The media continues to try to force Hillary Clinton out of the race! By Hillary staying in the race, is that really hurting the Democrats chances in the the election against John McCain? Or is it making Barack Obama a stronger candidate? Your thoughts? Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards MARTIN PERETZ’S NEW REPUBLIC SAYS DEMOCRATS MUST DECIDE NOW INSTEAD OF LATER!
    April 02nd, 2008

    M , Molly MacDermot
    JUICY (DRUNK) TEXT MESSAGES FROM YOUR FAVORITE TEEN STARS!


    This is a great cover line!
    But — lets keep it real.
    Juicy texts! Translation: DRUNK TEXTS!

    We’ve all been there — just like our teen friends on the cover of M Magazine.
    You know — you’ve had one to many and it’s time to text your ex! You tell them everything you would never dare say when you’re on the phone with them. Oh, the drama!
    Don’t do it! You’ll regret it in the morning. (I of course refrain from this type of behavior!)
    Someone I know has been told they should not go out for the evening with their blackberry. Who is it? I’ll never tell but you know who you are!
    On a side note - Molly & Lynette - miss you both! Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards JUICY (DRUNK) TEXT MESSAGES FROM YOUR FAVORITE TEEN STARS!
    April 02nd, 2008


    Jonas Brothers , Leesa Coble , Tiger Beat
    TIGER BEAT REVEALS JONAS LOVE SECRETS!


    For some reason, these guys are the hottest thing in teen world. I don’t get it - but I’m not supposed to.
    Anyhow, they are front and center on the cover of Tiger Beat and you’ll find out all of their LOVE secrets in this issue! Tiger Beat is “Your Jonas Authority. Where you go for JoBro Info What are some of their secrets?
    Nick: “Eyes are a really big thing with me,” the cute singer tells Tiger Beat. “I think you can tell if they’re genuine with their personality.”
    Kevin: “When a girl dresses up, there is something about it,” Kevin smiles. “I’ve always loved that. A girl who wants to look great makes me really happy.”
    Joe: “I won’t hug them like I would hug my brother,” he laughs. “Sometimes I’ll hug for a really long time. I’ll be like, ‘Let’s just hug.’”
    Aren’t these guys the cutest things EVER?
    Next month, lets play which one is GAY? Just kidding! (Oh, come on, you were thinking the same thing!)

    ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING TOLD TO WALK?

    Carol Brooks’ First Magazine says “Walk Off 96% More Fat”

    Stephanie Saible’s Woman’s World Says “Walk Off 20 lbs in 30 Days”

    Is there a walking conspiracy going on right now? These magazines are on the newsstand at the same time! Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING TOLD TO WALK?
    Last edited by ingi; April 2nd, 2008 at 06:36 PM.

  5. #5
    Elite Member Folieadeux's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    3,232

    Default

    Generally I do believe the Enquirer over some of the tabloids (star, InTouch etc)... This wouldn't surprise me if Jennifer adopted. She is getting older (and she's alone ) and her clock is ticking! If she is adopting, good for her!
    ssabmud

  6. #6
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,932

    Default

    I have heard rumors in the past that she was looking into it, but who really knows for sure?

  7. #7
    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    37,547

    Default

    Another day, another Maniston's adopting bullshit story.

    Meanwhile, I always suspected Sonny Bono was murdered.

  8. #8
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,932

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Raspberry gashes View Post
    Meanwhile, I always suspected Sonny Bono was murdered.
    Didn't the police end up thinking so too?

  9. #9
    Elite Member Laxmobster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Down by da beach....boyeee
    Posts
    7,648

    Default

    I love Emile Hirsch! Carry on...
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial View Post
    I also choose to believe the rumors because I am, when it is all said and done, a dirty gossip.

  10. #10
    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    kcmo
    Posts
    14,473

    Default

    Losers, the lot of them, those celebratties..

  11. #11
    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Eva's Love Den
    Posts
    25,572

    Default

    First, who's baby is that Jen is holding? Sheryl Crow's?
    Second, they photoshopped the shit out of Nicole Richie. She is not that thin. She is thin, but not as tiny as she was when we could see her bones projecting out of her chest.
    Third, the OK magazine cover of Brit is a damn LIE. Girl hasn't looked like that since 2001.
    And fourth, Angelina looks much better as an adult than as a 16 year old. That latex outfit was fug as hell.

  12. #12
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,932

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cmmdee View Post
    First, who's baby is that Jen is holding? Sheryl Crow's?
    Second, they photoshopped the shit out of Nicole Richie. She is not that thin. She is thin, but not as tiny as she was when we could see her bones projecting out of her chest.
    Third, the OK magazine cover of Brit is a damn LIE. Girl hasn't looked like that since 2001.
    And fourth, Angelina looks much better as an adult than as a 16 year old. That latex outfit was fug as hell.
    I think that is Jen's niece. The Enquirer should be ashamed! (although technically there is no legal recourse)

  13. #13
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,932

    Default



    I just picked up my latest issue of Larry Hackett’s People magazine from the newsstand and I have to admit that I didn’t recognize Heath Ledger!
    What do you think?
    Even if I did recognize him, I do not believe this is a strong cover. It would only capture my attention if People knew for sure he had a child and had actual evidence on the cover.
    Looking at the roof-line, People missed a big opportunity! They should have made the pregnant man the main cover. After his appearance on Oprah, it’s one of the biggest topics out there!
    Bottom Line: Not loving this cover of People!

  14. #14
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    support histiocytosis awareness
    Posts
    7,363

    Default

    1. Jennifer Aniston has a miscarriage before adopting.. who is the father, Orlando Bloom? bwahahaha

    2. drop 43 pounds by memorial day?
    how by getting rid of your kindergartner?

    this stuff is so much crap... um but I do buy Entertainment Weekly

  15. #15
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,932

    Default

    People did call the Beyonce wedding!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 14
    Last Post: March 31st, 2008, 02:42 AM
  2. Beyonce - Jack Magazine - April 2008
    By AuGusT in forum Magazines and Photoshoots
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: March 28th, 2008, 01:14 AM
  3. Alyssa Milano- Jezebel Magazine Cover - February 2008
    By alyssalary in forum Magazines and Photoshoots
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: February 28th, 2008, 06:47 AM
  4. Jennifer Aniston - Vogue Magazine - April 2006
    By SVZ in forum Magazines and Photoshoots
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: March 22nd, 2006, 01:59 PM
  5. Jennifer Aniston - Vogue Magazine Cover - April 2006
    By mia981 in forum Magazines and Photoshoots
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: February 8th, 2006, 05:26 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •