Tabloid Covers: April 1, 2008 (Audrina Patridge leaked her nudie pics?)

[ingi]

US WEEKLY’S JANICE MIN’S LOVE AFFAIR WITH REESE CONTINUES…

Us Weekly Features Reese & Jake! Will Anyone Care?

Janice Min followed up last week’s FAKE cover on Lauren Conrad with “Reese’s Untold Love Story.”
Reese Witherspoon is always a go to star for Janice Min and this photo of Reese and Jake Gyllenhaal must have made her get back on the Reese bandwagon.
It’s intimate and really shows them as a couple. But, unfortunately for Us Weekly this won’t help it on the newsstand. The competition is way too strong this week!
For those who STILL care about Reese, they’ll buy this cover.
My belief is that there are VERY FEW READERS THAT WILL CARE!
The sidebar features some interesting tidbits.
Cheryl and Drew Speak Out on their alleged affair! I hate when editors use the line “Speak Out.” It’s completely boring and reveals nothing. Did they or didn’t they???
And the hidden gem is at the bottom. Heidi Montag “Why I Attacked Spencer.” For some reason there are no pictures of the two of them! And why isn’t this the MAIN COVER!!?
Bottom Line: Better luck next week! This issue will tank! RICHARD SPENCER’S IN TOUCH DOES IT RIGHT!
Spencer Brings Back Always-Popular “Wedding of the Century” Cover Line

Last week, In Touch delivered the joyous news that Brad & Angelina were having a boy & a girl.
How do you follow that up?
As I predicted earlier this week, one of the weeklies would go for another Brad & Angelina cover.
And In Touch is the big winner for following this hot couple AGAIN! They go the wedding route, which has been done many times before. But, I believe the timing for this WILL WORK for In Touch.
I love the cover photo — minus the sad looking Brad. It would’ve been perfect if they could find one with him at least cracking a smile!
As a reader, I believe In Touch is delivering new details! The luxury yacht and the guest list makes it sound so private, which makes sense.
In non-Brangelina news, In Touch places a compelling Hills’ story on the top left with the question, “Did Audrina Leak her Nude Pics? I don’t have to read the story to tell you that the answer is YES! LOL.
Bottom Line: This will be the biggest seller of the year to date for In Touch!
OK MAGAZINE BELIEVES SHILOH & SURI ARE DYNAMIC DUO AND WILL EQUAL NEWSSTAND SUCCESS!

They are WRONG!

Before I begin to say one word about this cover I’d like to make a plea to the entire celebrity weekly category.
Please stop using celebrity’s children as the MAIN cover photos of your magazines! This is one trend that has to STOP NOW!
Now, let’s discuss Sarah Iven’s OK Magazine featuring none other than Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise.
This can go down as one of the MOST RIDICULOUS covers I have seen in celebrity weekly history!
Showing these two tots stand side-by-side is laughable! (I hope when Suri and Shiloh get older and see this cover they don’t have weight issues because of the line ”BIG GIRLS NOW” LOL!)
“As they’re about to turn two, the tots get ready to be big sisters.” Will anyone care? NO!
I won’t even talk about the sidebar because none of the stories stand-out!
Bottom Line: This could be a catastrophic sale for OK Magazine this week! It WILL be the magazine’s lowest sale of the year!
RICHARD SPENCER’S LIFE & STYLE BRINGS YOU AT HOME WITH NICOLE RICHIE & JOEL MADDEN

Or at Least Outside Their Home!

The hottest new trend in the celebrity weekly category is doing an “At Home” that really isn’t what an ”At Home” used to be.
In the old days, you would see glamourous pictures of the star’s homes as well as intimate interviews with the stars.
But today an “At Home” is basically an update of the star’s life — but that wouldn’t be nearly as compelling as a cover line.
Let’s be honest though! All of those old fashioned “At Homes” are totally boring and the stars never reveal anything anyway! So, if a celebrity weekly can get juicy tidbits on what’s happening in the lives of the stars, what’s wrong with that?
However, by the look of this cover, it doesn’t look like Life & Style is going to reveal any “details” on their lives “At Home!”
You can tell by the dek, which screams “Plus! Exclusive Wedding Photos!” Don’t be fooled. These are photos of their friends wedding - not their own wedding!
And Nicole tells Life & Style how she lost the weight! Is this a star that the reader wants to get weight loss tips from? I don’t think so!
Overall the layout of this cover is a bit strange. By placing Joel behind the logo and Nicole in front of the logo, I don’t believe this is really a picture of them standing next to each other.
Plus, the sultry picture of Audrina features the compelling cover line “Why Audrina posed naked.” But again on the design front, the upc symbol is covering her vajajay! How weird! Also, did you notice that this week’s In Touch features an inset of Audrina as well.
Bottom Line: It’ll be a tough week for Life & Style! In Touch and Star both came out swinging with much stronger covers!
Mark Pasetsky’s Cover Awards

[ingi]

DAVID PEREL’S NATIONAL ENQUIRER WINS BEST PHOTOS OF THE DAY

Check out the Carnie Wilson and the “TV Star Caught Doing Cocaine” photos!

Wow! Those are two strong photos!
I’m wondering why the Carnie Wilson photo isn’t he main cover???
However, the Olsen Twins battle over their fortune is STRONG. I could see how they had a tough time deciding. Looks like they are going for the younger demographic while Globe will be grabbed by the majority of the senior citizen community. It’s counter-programming at AMI!
Bottom Line: Readers love battles over money so this one has a good shot this week!
P.S. In the internal battle at AMI, my vote for BEST COVER OF THE WEEK goes to Candace Trunzo’s Star Magazine.
TONY FROST’S GLOBE REVEALS PAUL NEWMAN HAS SIX MONTHS TO LIVE

One Word!

OMG!
I hope that’s not true! Paul Newman is one of the greatest actors of our time and if this is true, that would be very sad.
In terms of the other stories, the Globe features two items on the baseline that caught my attention.
David Archuleta “Tormented by Bully Dad.” Poor kid. He was on Star Search and now he’s under the gun on American Idol. I hope his Dad isn’t one of those over-demanding types that’s putting all this pressure on him. You knows what happens to kids when they’re raised by these types of parents! (They shave their heads and enter rehab!)
Dancing with the Stars’ Priscilla Presley is in a LOVE TRIANGLE. You know Star did well last week if the Globe used this LOVE TRIANGLE line!
And for country fans, Garth & Trisha Split! The evidence on the cover is the famous “NO RING!” pic.
Bottom Line: Much better than last week’s cover!
P.S. Is there some magical formula that Globe is using by putting American Idol on the bottom left hand side of its cover?
STAR’S CANDACE TRUNZO FOLLOWS COVERAWARDS’ ADVICE

And Creates a Winning Katie Holmes Cover!

On Monday, I predicted that one of the weeklies would go for a TomKat cover!
Why? Maer Roshan’s Radar published one of the most in-depth pieces surrounding the attack on Scientology. It included a ton of details from ex-Scientologists that left what Radar calls “Tom Cruise’s cult.”
So, the next logical step for one of the celebrity weeklies is to do what Star Magazine did this week!
The main line is ”Sick Katie Collapses,” accompanied by the lead in “She’s finally cracking under the strain of life with Tom.” (Is the “strain” from Scientology, the demand for more babies, the fame??? Star doesn’t answer these questions on the cover but believes the reader will get it. I agree.)
What are her symptoms? Blinding headaches, dizzy spells and wasting away! (Poor thing. I hope Katie sees a doctor. For those headaches, I recommend Excedrin. Just take three and call me in the morning.)
Topping it off you have an incredible picture of Katie Holmes where she looks completely despondent. (Star’s photo director should feel pretty good today.)
Bonus: Three strong insets. The Britney one is particularly strong because of the success of her appearance on “How I Met Your Mother.” This would have been a better cover line for last week’s TV Guide. While everyone is praising Britney for her comeback, Star claims to have the inside story on her “secret meltdown.”
Bottom Line: This cover of Star will fly off the newsstands.

[NicoleWasHere]

Couldn't you have just done one at a time? That's a fuckload to try and process.

[msdeb]

Couldn't you have just done one at a time? That's a fuckload to try and process.

[sparkly]

What Jolie's brother has to say about their upcoming wedding: "I'm heartbroken. I thought she was in love with me. I guess our frenching in public meant nothing to her. Sniffle..."

[january]

I wonder if Paul Newman really does have cancer. I hope not.

[Just Kill Me]

OMFG my brain is breaking from the information overload!!!!!!!
All I can think is Audrina totally leaked those photos.

[cmmdee]

What Jolie's brother has to say about their upcoming wedding: "I'm heartbroken. I thought she was in love with me. I guess our frenching in public meant nothing to her. Sniffle..."

She'll never marry Brad so Mr. Haven is happy as a clam.
True love lasts forever, after all!

OMFG my brain is breaking from the information overload!!!!!!!
All I can think is Audrina totally leaked those photos.

Of course she did. Doesn't The Hills have something new out? PR move! Pretty girl she is!

[ingi]

"In Touch places a compelling Hills’ story on the top left with the question, “Did Audrina Patridge Leak her Nude Pics? I don’t even have to read the story to tell you that the answer is YES!! LMAO."

[southernbelle]

I'm sure Audrina leaked the photos. She's obviously desperate for fame. She's always following Lauren around pretending to be a star, and I think she decided this would be the perfect way to get attention.

Who is the TV star doing cocaine on the cover of National Enquirer???

[ingi]

I'm sure Audrina leaked the photos. She's obviously desperate for fame. She's always following Lauren around pretending to be a star, and I think she decided this would be the perfect way to get attention.

Audrina had a great explanation of what she was doing saying that the photos 'were artistic'

[SweetPea]

I guess Star is gearing up for Katie's future pregnancy.

[ingi]

I guess Star is gearing up for Katie's future pregnancy.

Janice Min is no Bonnie Fuller. The Star covers are are always better than US
Don't forget to read Janice Min’s “From US to You” letter where she points the finger at Hill’s Haters and says that this show is the Melrose Place for the younger generation.
Like I had to remind you to read Janice’s letter.
(It’s the first thing I read in US Weekly. LOL. Actually, I’m laughing so hard I fell out of my chair.)
Anyhow — Janice, I haven’t heard anyone criticizing you for putting The Hills on your cover. I actually think this is a VERY smart move. Who are you getting your feedback from?
It’s obviously not from your target audience, which means your letter inside the magazine makes NO SENSE. You should be writing to your reader! Do you think young females in their 20s care what older people think about The Hills?
I’m also just shocked that your magazine or any of the other magazine did not put The Hills on their FULL cover this week!
My bigger question is when will we see Us Weekly on The Hills?
At this point, it looks like the magazine is so in bed with the show

[sparkly]

That is fucking GROSS!!! I didn't know they made out more than once...

[olivia720]

I'm confident Audrina leaked the pics. I'd be stunned if that wasn't the case. And Michael K from Dlisted pointed out what I couldn't put my finger on about her eyes. He said it always looks like she's looking at the ceiling. So true!