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Thread: Kitten crack-dealer Pete Doherty to mentor heroin-addicted kids

  1. #1
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Default Kitten crack-dealer Pete Doherty to mentor heroin-addicted kids

    Tuesday, March 11th 2008
    Crackhead Leading The Crackhead




    Dreamboat Pete Doherty plans to visit several public housing projects in England to help out heroin addicts. A laugh! Pete is doing it all for a new reality show. He will stay with families in the housing projects and work with the heroin addicted youth.

    A source said, “Pete really hopes to be able to use his own experiences to help these youths. Hopefully they will be inspired by his visit.”

    Inspired? They are probably shitting themselves. Well, shitting themselves, because heroin addicts tend to do that. They are excited, because Petey will teach them how to shoot heroin through their pee hole and hide crack in their ass hole. It's probably the first time in their lives they will actually sit and take notes.

    Petey is also helping Wino's Blake Incarcerated. Pete is trying to get Blaaake to have an opiate-suppressing implant put in to help him kick drugs. Pete claims it helped him. Oh please! Pete probably pulled that implant out, cooked it up and then smoked it.

    Pete's new reality show is set to premiere later this year.

    Dlisted | Be Very Afraid
    ...and the jokes just write themselves...
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member sprynkles's Avatar
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    How appropriate after 3 minutes of supposedly being clean.
    Ummm..."dreamboat"???

    "A massive penis means never having to say you're sorry". Mo

  3. #3
    Elite Member sparkly's Avatar
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    He's secretly looking for kids he can sell to.

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    Please Jesus, say this show will air here in the US. I will pay to watch it if I have to.

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    Elite Member MissVenus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sparkly View Post
    He's secretly looking for kids he can sell to.
    Or ones that he can score from!
    vaya con dios

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheri View Post
    Please Jesus, say this show will air here in the US. I will pay to watch it if I have to.
    It will be on DVD soon enough I suspect.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    It's prolly some sort o' public service he has to do for getting caught with drugs.
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

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    Elite Member AgentOrange's Avatar
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    This might not be such a bad idea. How better to get the kids off heroin then by getting them onto crack?

    Is anyone surprised to know that Pete is a Pisces? It's the sign of escapism and substance abuse.

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    Elite Member Bijoux's Avatar
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    ^^

  10. #10
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AgentOrange View Post
    This might not be such a bad idea. How better to get the kids off heroin then by getting them onto crack?

    Is anyone surprised to know that Pete is a Pisces? It's the sign of escapism and substance abuse.
    Not really. His birthday is today, let us mourn another year of his being on the planet.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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