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Thread: Christina Aguilera likes her vajayjay pain free

  1. #1
    Elite Member mrs.v's Avatar
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    Default Christina Aguilera likes her vajayjay pain free

    Xtina Is Afraid Of Vaginal Tearing




    Xtina is a pussy. She said that she decided not to give birth to baby Max the natural way, because she was too scared and didn't want to go through the pain. She gave birth via c-section and booked in advance. That's how they do it in Hollywood.
    She told Hello Magazine, "I didn't want any surprises. Honestly, I didn't want any [vaginal] tearing. I had heard horror stories of women going in and having to have an emergency C-section [anyway]. The hardest part was deciding on his birthday. I wanted to leave it up to fate, but at the same time I was ready to be done early!"
    "Jordan wasn't squeamish at all. He had the video camera ready to go. The most reassuring thing for me was hearing that first beautiful cry. I just welled up with tears."
    She actually cried? Didn't she care about fucking up her make-up? She probably got wet mascara all over her poor baby. I don't understand the c-section shit. Isn't a little tear in your pussy better than a big ass scar on your belly? It's called meds Xtina. All she needed was major meds and the pussy tear would have been nothing. Dumb ho!
    Above is a picture of Xtina, Bat Boy and baby Max along with a bunch of dogs. That dog is bigger than Bat Boy. It's going to eat the baby! Hello! featuring Xtina hits stands on Tuesday.



    Xtina Is Afraid Of Vaginal Tearing | Dlisted
    eat a hot bowl of dicks.

  2. #2
    Elite Member Folieadeux's Avatar
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    I'm a little scared of vaginal birth and especially of having the baby at a hospital - it is such a pressured environment 'push, push PUSH!!!'.
    When I become pregnant I'm definitely going to have a home birth or a planned cesarean.

    The baby seems to be healthy, so I guess that is all that matters.

    Those three dogs creep me out though. There have been a few reportings of dogs that have killed newborns over the last several months. The dogs have taken them from the pram or bassinet and shook or mauled them to death.
    ssabmud

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    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    I won't either if I ever get preggers, I like a vagina AND an asshole, not an amalgamation of the two. We have great technology to lessen the pain and side effects of vaginal delivery, why not use them? Personally, I think a c-section would be safer for the baby, no squashing it's mushy head through a tight canal, past bones, no lengthy trauma for either mum or babe of long labour.
    Chances of death due to umbilical neck wrapping in c-section? Nil.

    Forceps bruising/mental retardation of baby? Nil.

    Episiotimies? Nil.

    Risk of spinal injury due to misplaced epidural? Nil.
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

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    Elite Member sweetness's Avatar
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    If given the choice I'd rather have a few stitches in my privates than have my belly cut open.

    If you have a good midwife (and good drugs) there really shouldn't be that much tearing, if any at all.

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    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    ^^If given the option, I'd prefer stiches in my abdomin than in my crotch, lol.
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

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    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    Bat Boy

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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    I've seen a lot of births (mainly woman younger than Xtina admittedly) but even I am surprised at how little tearing I have witnessed. Maybe the delivery nurses and docs really kicked ass where I was at the time, but in general, a C-Section...even a planned non-emergent one...really is way more trauma to a woman's body. C-Section babies defintely require more suctioning to get the breathing going, which can be scary for a few minutes in itself if the little bugger starts getting too blue before they get all the gunk out of him.
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    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    My recovery the second time around (first doesn't count, as there was a lot of abnormal circumstance involved) was so much easier than my friends who had necessary c-sections. I consider myself lucky to have been ABLE to give birth vaginally.
    ----------------------------
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    Silver Member venue_26's Avatar
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    I've had 2 natural births, and never torn once. With my last one, I really stretched out, but didn't tear, and I think that's because the labor and delivery was so fast (from first contraction until I held my son was less than 2 hours).
    Perineal massage loosens the skin down there and allows for it to stretch.
    C-sections are major surgery, and are usually more difficult for both mom and the baby. Babies were made to come down and through the vagina.

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    Elite Member Bijoux's Avatar
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    I really don't know what I'm going to do. Should it ever happen.

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    Elite Member KandyKorn's Avatar
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    I've never given birth so I really can't comment on this...but...wouldn't it be great if we were like kangaroos and gave birth to tiny babies that we could carry in our pockets for a few months?! No vaginal tearing and no c sections, everybody wins!
    I'm not quite drunk enough to really care, but is this her violation of her violation of her violation of her violation of probation or her violation of her violation of her violation of her probation????? ~MontanaMama on LL's latest arrest.

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    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
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    I like my vajayjay to be pain free too.

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    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    ^^statistically human babes have a far larger head than any other animal, making human birth the nastiest/most frought with disaster. The human body has yet to fully compensate for said deliveries, possibly because the brain power is a greater gift than the pain it induces or perhaps evolution has been slowed down since the advent of c-sections.
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

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    Elite Member crumpet's Avatar
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    I prefer my vajayjay to be entrance only and baby free!

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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    I think in third world or other countries where they squat for everything from taking a dump to giving birth (way more natural anatomical positioning for both processes) all this pain and tearing and ripping and cutting out of babies that just won't be birthed naturally is the exception as opposed to the general rule.
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