Science proves Victoria Beckham's breasts the worst ever

**greysfang** · February 8th, 2008, 07:56 PM

Science Rejects Victoria Beckham's Breasts

Tim K: 02/08/2008 11:43 AM

[i]Poor Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. First her group, the reunited Spice Girls, was forced to publicly apologize for canceling the last leg of their tour. (Though they were probably doing the world a favor with that one.) Then the Daily Mail scored a low blow with their report on Posh's freakishly knobby knees.

And now, perhaps the gravest indignity: After exhaustive research, it has been determined that she has the world's worst knockers.

London-based plastic surgeon Patrick Mallucci, who'll be presenting his findings at the first international conference on breast enlargement in London next week, pored over hundreds of photos of topless models. Mallucci determined that breast aesthetics hinge on nipple position and proportion between the upper and lower halves of the breast. "That is, the nipple sits not at the halfway mark down the breast, but at about 45 percent from the top."

Further, the ideal mammary has a nipple that points slightly skyward.

This is all apparently bad news for Mrs. Beckham; Mallucci opines that Posh has the least appealing pair of celebrity breasts, according to his criteria.

Are we to presume that Beckham's nipples point toward the floor and reside somewhere near the bottom of her breasts? Click on the gallery and judge for yourself.

Science Rejects Victoria Beckham's Breasts - Bauer-Griffin

I bet Posh in on the phone with her plastic surgeon right now demanding a refinement.

**Kathie_Moffett** · February 8th, 2008, 08:35 PM

I think Dr. Mallucci needs to put his willy up for assessment.

**travelbug** · February 8th, 2008, 09:17 PM

Has he seen her naked boobies to be able to make an assessment about her nipple position?

**sprynkles** · February 9th, 2008, 08:53 AM

I've seen enough pics of her frankentits to know exactly
where the nips are. Right dead in the center just waiting
to jab some poor passerbys eye out.

**january** · February 9th, 2008, 10:18 AM

NO WAY. Pamela Anderson has the worst breast implants ever, hands down. Her nipples sit ON TOP of her breasts. Its absolutely hideous.

**aabbcc** · February 9th, 2008, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by sprynkles

I've seen enough pics of her frankentits to know exactly where the nips are. Right dead in the center just waiting to jab some poor passerbys eye out.

She has steel nipple implants.

**Penny Lane** · February 9th, 2008, 10:50 AM

Ha-ha.

**WhateverLolaWants** · February 9th, 2008, 11:08 AM

I've seen a lot worse. Her bolt ons aren't my favorite pair of mams, but JEEEZ there are so many worse pairs on the planet. Tara Reid alone makes Posh look like the Venus de Milo

**january** · February 9th, 2008, 11:13 AM

Hey, I really want to show some pictures of Pamela Anderson to prove my point but they are NSFW. Its not in the thread title though, can I go ahead and post it and just give a warning in my post or what? I'm confused on the rules here.

**Laurent** · February 9th, 2008, 11:14 AM

Not to kick the girl while she's down, but Britney's are pretty damn unattractive.

**sprynkles** · February 9th, 2008, 11:38 AM

I wouldn't post NSFW pics in a thread, maybe post a link?
I only do this at work, I would hate to check on this thread and have it turn x-rated and get myself into trouble.

**january** · February 9th, 2008, 11:54 AM

Yeah, thats what I thought as well, I would hate to open up a thread and be hit with a naked picture while I'm working. NoDay also told me that as well. Okay, so I think I figured out how to link them instead? These are NSFW, if you didn't get the gist. If these aren't the worst breasts ever, then I don't know what is. And yes, that is Pamela Anderson, by David LaChappelle. Victoria's are awful, don't get me wrong, but for me these will always be the worst. Check out the third picture in particular and the location of her nipples!

NSFW!!!!!

http://img161.imageshack.us/img161/3792/pam1cc6.jpg

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/1600/pam2cj3.jpg

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7776/pam3pf3.jpg

**NicoleWasHere** · February 9th, 2008, 12:10 PM

^ Those pictures are twisted, and she's all smiles. WTF is wrong with that hep bitch?

**Rondette** · February 9th, 2008, 12:28 PM

That last one makes her look like one of those creepy Realdolls.

**january** · February 9th, 2008, 12:33 PM

But have you ever seen nipples so high up on the chest? Its really disturbing, like her whole implant slid down and her nipples stayed up high. Just weird. She was the first person I thought of when this doctor was talking about nipple placement, I'm not sure why he decided Victoria was a better example.