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Thread: Sylvester Stallone's mother can see the future through his ass

  1. #1
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Talking Sylvester Stallone's mother can see the future through his ass

    Sylvester Stallone won't let his 'rumpoligist' mother Jackie "read his butt".

    (BANG) -

    Sylvester Stallone won't let his 'rumpoligist' mother "read his butt".

    The 61-year-old action star's mother Jackie pioneered the practice, which involves predicting a person's future by 'reading' their backside, but he refuses to let her look at his bottom in case it has "an unhappy ending".

    He said: "My mother has led a very colourful life. Besides being a one-time trapeze artist, she is the first woman I can recall who had a televised bodybuilding show in Washington in the 50s. She's a world class astrologist, palmist and yes, she did invent rumpology.

    "Yes, we do have a close relationship but I will not allow her to read my butt because the story may have an unhappy ending!"

    Jackie, 86, claims rumpology was practiced by Babylonians and Indians in ancient times, although she has failed to produce any historical evidence.

    She believes she can learn a person's past by studying their left buttock, and their future by looking at the right.


    (C) BANG Media International
    You just can't make this shit up.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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    Elite Member sparkly's Avatar
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    It's time butt-reading Mama went to the nursing home.

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    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    I wouldn't let that hag look at my ass, either.

    “What are you looking at, sugar-tits?” - Mel Gibson

  4. #4
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    ^ that actually IS his ass, now post a picture of his mother...
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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    Elite Member crackho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurent View Post
    I wouldn't let that hag look at my ass, either.

    ^^
    What does Carrot Top have to do with Sylvester Stallone? Do they work out and do roids together?

    My my, didn't we all just dip our tongues in some acid today.

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    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    "Yes, we do have a close relationship but I will not allow her to read my butt because the story may have an unhappy ending!"
    Yeah, he doesn't want her reading his ass because there's nothing but hot air & shit coming out just like his movies.

  7. #7
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    grimm, you are my hero
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

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    Gold Member Corsair's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    ^ that actually IS his ass, now post a picture of his mother...
    oh my god!!! Dammit Grimm, made me laugh and woke up the kids!

    She is disturbing!
    Don't worry about what other people think. They don't do it very often.

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    Elite Member Voodoo Child's Avatar
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    Could this woman become any more strange?

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    Elite Member DoveFeatheredRaven's Avatar
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    Dear Grimm,

    You write the best thread topics evah.

    Love,
    Dove
    Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” George Carlin

  11. #11
    Elite Member AgentOrange's Avatar
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    She's actually had that sideline going for awhile. I remember reading in the National Enquirer over ten years ago that she was practising 'assology'. Clients would send in Xerox's of their rear ends, and she'd tell their futures through the lines and cracks. Don't mess with her though. I think that she put a curse on Brigette Neilson - mal occhio!.

  12. #12
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    imagine having that pick you up after school or asking your friends if they'd like an ass reading with their milk and cookies.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  13. #13
    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
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    This thread rules.

  14. #14
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Lol at Rumpologist

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    No Big Up to the Jacky, she did a stint on UK TV version of Celebrity Big Brother and was just too funny for words. They shoved her in there with Sylvesters ex wife Bridget Neilson and they were actually ok together.

    She is really quick witted and has a cracking sense of humour.

    Everybody loved her even though she is as mad as a fish and is the poster girl for How Not to Have Cosmetic Surgery.
    Boycott Tom "CRAZY" Cruise movies

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