Avril Lavigne is irritating: Her Flare interview

[Beeyotch]

I just love how bitchy and catty this recap of her interview is. Long live catty gay guys and snarky commentary.


A Socialite's Life

October 12, 2007

Avril Lavigne Is Irritating

Filed under: Avril Lavigne


"Flare" magazine shoved Avril Lavinge's punk (and I don't mean as in rock) ass on their cover to irritate us. Some of this chick's songs are kinda catchy (I'm cheesy) but her stank attitude overshadows her work. She gives our neighbors to the north a bad name. Canada should bar her from entering their beautiful land ever again. Here's part of her scintillating interview.

What's the one item you cannot leave home without? AL: My cell phone.

Figures.

What was the last book you read? AL: The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver.

There's no way she read that book. I read that book and I kept falling asleep on the pages. My sleep drool reduced them to mush. She's a filthy liar.

Who is your favourite designer? AL: I don't have a favourite designer.

I've seen you, you need to get one.

If you could attempt any career other than your own, what would it be? AL: I would be a police woman or a nutritionist.

Of course you would. But you would actually be a Target cashier or one of those girls who works at Build-A-Bear. The one who is sick to death of asking the little kids to kiss the bear and give it a heart and would eventually snap on one and get fired and would leave flashing both middle fingers and tossing her stringy hair around. Because I'm punk, man! You can't cage me with your fascist teddy bears!

What is in your CD player right now? AL: Alanis Morrisette.

Alanis just simultaneously vomited and soiled herself and will now be restricting herself to composing on the pan flute in hopes that Avril will never namedrop her again.

What's your biggest fashion pet peeve? AL: High heels and short skirts- together.

Jealous bitch!

Would you describe yourself as high or low maintenance? AL: Low maintenance.

HA HA HA HA HA. Those dumb-ass pink streaks just don't appear in your mop by themselves, Rainbow Brite! She probably likes sunflowers. All high maintenance bitches like sunflowers.

How do you stay in shape? AL: I like to jog.

Off the CN Tower hopefully.

Do you have any pets? AL: My mom has a dog, but he's mine too!

Your mother despises you and she had the dog put down months ago. You don't know because you never visit her, Selfish. What kind of daughter are you?

When you have spare time, what's your favourite way to spend it? AL: I enjoy spending time with my friends.

Coke, crystal, dp's. Trying to get my husband to stop crying because I outsell his pug-faced ass.

What is your favourite travel destination? AL: Italy.

How come she's been there and I haven't? What kind of world is this?

Where have you not been that you would love to go? AL: Egypt.

Yes, please go there and hopefully get caught in some kind of political infighting. No Avril, you don't need to duck. They're not shooting at you baby, walk right out there!

Who do you most admire? AL: In the music industry, I admire how long Madonna has been around for.

She's after Madonna. Watch out, Madge. A shrimpy Canadian crib midget is on your jock.

How would you like to be remembered? AL: As a respected singer/songwriter and someone who is strong-willed and strong-minded.

Well you're gonna be remembered as a short bitchwad. But thanks for the chorus to "Sk8er Boy". That was hot. Not like you wrote it, though!

[Beeyotch]

My favorite is

When you have spare time, what's your favourite way to spend it? AL: I enjoy spending time with my friends.

Coke, crystal, dp's. Trying to get my husband to stop crying because I outsell his pug-faced ass.



Okay, that and the fascist teddy bears bit was pretty funny.

[Honey]

Very funny. Is that true about the dog?

[Tiny Pixie]

How would you like to be remembered? AL: As a respected singer/songwriter and someone who is strong-willed and strong-minded.

Well you're gonna be remembered as a short bitchwad. But thanks for the chorus to "Sk8er Boy". That was hot. Not like you wrote it, though!

My favorite !!!

[Aella]

LMAO! "You can't cage me with your fascist teddy bears!". This made my DAY!

[Bkny Mix]

At best she's not with that crocodile smile of her's!

[Lily]

Singer/songwriter? Sorry, Ratface. We're going to remember you for the annoying, self-obsessed, overhyped, overrated impostor you are. Bitch. I know P.Z. who writes 75% of her songs, and then the other 25% is that other guy. Poseur.

[lisalucy69]

But on the upside...she doesn't go around flashing her cooch to the paps (thank goodness) .

[nycgirl]

LMAO at the fascist teddy bears line

[jaclynfett]

And poor Alanis,lol

[sweetness]

Originally Posted by lisalucy69

But on the upside...she doesn't go around flashing her cooch to the paps (thank goodness) .

You're right about that....... rat pu$$y must look really gross!

[CherryDarling]

I cannot stand this self-absorbed poser.

[thrpschr]

What's your biggest fashion pet peeve? AL: High heels and short skirts- together.

Really? Well, maybe those are hotpants, not a skirt. Totally different. Or maybe she just doesn't like it on other people - who knows?

[sweetness]

BEST singer/songwriter of all time: Avril Lavigne .........

[Beeyotch]

OMG.

I found the perfect bag for Avril Lavigne:



It's funny because of the irony, you see.