'I wanted to eat a bullet': Charlie Sheen says he considered suicide after HIV diagnosis but his mom saved him and that testosterone cream used for his sex drive caused tiger blood meltdown
- Charlie Sheen said in an interview that aired Wednesday he is feeling 'good' and 'grateful' just over one year after revealing he is HIV-positive
- The actor admitted that he considered suicide after be was diagnosed, but did not want to shoot himself in front of his mother
- He also spoke about his 2011 meltdown during which he proclaimed that he had tiger blood and was a 'high priest Vatican assassin warlord'
- 'Way too much testosterone cream, trying to keep the old libido up. It metabolizes into steroids,' said Sheen, claiming he was in a 'roid rage
- The actor, 51, also said that he has grown much closer with his five children and granddaughter over the past year
- Sheen will also star in the new film Mad Families alongside Leah Remini, Naya Rivera, Charlotte McKinney and Chanel Iman
By Chris Spargo For Dailymail.com
Published: 14:24 GMT, 11 January 2017 | Updated: 15:10 GMT, 11 January 2017
Charlie Sheen opened up about his life in the year since he publicly announced he was HIV-positive in an interview that aired Wednesday on Good Morning America.
'I feel really good. I am so grateful,' Sheen told host Michael Strahan.
He later revealed however that this was not the case the day he learned about his diagnosis, which came after years of rampant drug and alcohol abuse, something Sheen has been remarkably open about over the past few years.
'The day I was diagnosed, I immediately wanted to eat a bullet,' said Sheen, who then began to laugh. 'But my mom was there, I wouldn't do that in front of her, or let her find me to clean up that mess.'
Sheen is the son of actor Martin Sheen and his wife Janet.
He went on to talk about his new outlook on life, how he now values his family above all else and explained what he believes caused his very public meltdown that began back in 2011.
He also said of his very public battle with HIV: 'I feel like I'm carrying the torch for a lot of folks out there that are suffering from the same thing.'
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Opening up: Charlie Sheen said in an interview that aired Wednesday (above) he is feeling 'good' and 'grateful' just over one year after revealing he is HIV-positive
Close call: The actor admitted that he considered suicide after he was diagnosed, but did not want to shoot himself in front of his mother (l to r: Emilio, Ramone, and Casandra Estevez, Charlie, Janet and Martin Sheen in 1989)
Sheen sat down with ABC News almost six years ago in February of 2011 at the height of his erratic behavior, which had led to him being fired from his CBS show 'Two and a Half Men.'
In that interview he seemed notably off and almost crazed while speaking with Andrea Canning, telling her at one point: 'I'm a high priest Vatican assassin warlord.'
He said in that interview that he was sober, before stating: 'I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen.'
He then added: 'It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.'
Sheen also said in that interview that he believed he had taken more drugs than anyone else in the world would be able to survive at times.
'I was banging 7-gram rocks, and finishing them, because that's how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: go,' said the actor.
Then, when asked how he was able to ingest such large quantities of narcotics, Sheen said: 'Because I'm me. I'm different. I just have a different constitution, a different brain, a different heart, I've got tiger blood man.'
In his interview with GMA, Sheen finally revealed what he now believes gave him that tiger blood - testosterone cream.
'Dude, what the hell was that,' said Sheen, thinking back on that period of his life.
'Way too much testosterone cream, trying to keep the old libido up. It metabolizes into steroids. That whole odyssey was an accidental 'roid rage.'
Tiger blood: He also spoke about his 2011 meltdown during which he proclaimed that he had tiger blood and was a 'high priest Vatican assassin warlord' (Sheen above in 2011 with Natalie Kenly)
He's back: Sheen will soon be seen in the new comedy Mad Families, starring alongside Leah Remini (above)
It was that same year that Sheen tested positive for HIV, but now he is in a trial for a new drug he thinks will make life more manageable as it only requires a single injection each week.
'Some days are better than others, but most days are pretty f***ing cool,' said Sheen, who added he gets lots of 'warm hugs' and 'compliments' from strangers.
'I'm so grateful for what was available when it happened, and even more grateful for what's available right now, when I'm, I'm in the middle of it, you know?' said Sheen.
He is also now working again and spending more time with his family, especially his two daughters with ex-wife Denise Richards - Sam, 12, and Lola, 11.
Charlotte McKinney, Sheen and Chanel Iman at the Mad Families premiere on Monday
Richards posted a photo of her and Sheen sitting with their two girls while the celebrated the New Year earlier this month, writing: 'We've had a colorful year ...at the end of the day we're still a family..'
And Sheen, who has had a tumultuous relationship with Richards since their divorce in 2006, now seems to cherish the relationship he has with his ex and kids.
'It's really refreshing. You've had a terrible day ... And you come home, and your kids are like, "Oh, my gosh. Look who's, look who's here,"' said Sheen.
Then there is also his granddaughter, who his oldest daughter Cassandra Jade Estevez, 32, gave birth to back in 2013 and named Luna.
'It kinda blew my mind, but what a gift,' said Sheen.
The actor also has two young sons, 7-year-old twins Bob and Max, with ex-wife Brooke Mueller, who reportedly checked into rehab last month.
Sheen spent Thanksgiving with Mueller and the boys and sees his sons regularly while their mother is receiving treatment.
'They don't know me as a performer,' said Sheen, adding that none of his younger children have even seen his films.
Daughters: The actor, 51, also said that he has grown much closer with his five children and granddaughter over the past year (Sheen with Denise Richards and daughters Sam and Lola on New Year's Eve)
Boys: The actor also has two young sons, 7-year-old twins Bob and Max, with ex-wife Brooke Mueller, who reportedly checked into rehab last month (Mueller, Bob and Max above)
He will now be in the spotlight again with the new movie Mad Families, which he stars in alongside Leah Remini, Naya Rivera, Charlotte McKinney and Chanel Iman among others.
'The film is hysterical. It's very diverse, it covers a lot of demographics,' said Sheen of the comedy about three different families forced to share a campsite.
'There's a scene where we all pass around a megaphone, and tell the most racially inappropriate jokes in the history of the known universe.
'We're all laughing. No one's offended. No one in the movie is offended. So, I do believe that anyone watching it won't be either.'
When then asked if he viewed this as his comeback, Sheen said: 'I don't want to label it as such, 'cause, then, if it doesn't work, then I'm wrong. Don't like being wrong.'
He then added: 'For some reason, they just keep inviting me back to the next, the next act.'