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Thread: Mo'Nique explains why she gives her husband 'a pass to cheat'

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    Default Mo'Nique explains why she gives her husband 'a pass to cheat'

    Mo'Nique explains why she gives her husband 'a pass to cheat'

    http://www.msn.com/en-au/lifestyle/f...=AAabC8j&ocid=

    The Huffington Post

    Carly Ledbetter 1 hour ago



    © AP Photo/Matt Sayles Mo'Nique and her husband Sidney Hicks at the Academy Awards.


    Oscar-winning actress Mo'Nique is offering up some interesting marriage advice in a new interview with True Exclusives.

    In the article, the twice-married actress and comedian talks about giving her husband a "pass" sleep with other people. Mo'Nique says that while couples should "live by" their marital vows, she also added "people cheat because of something they're not getting". The solution? A "pass to cheat".

    Because - as Mo'Nique explains it - if couples have "open and honest conversations" with their partner, it's OK to go ahead and cheat. Especially if the person your partner wants to cheat with will do something that you won't do.

    "What is it about that person that you find that you wanna sleep with? Because they may give you something that I’m simply not willing to do," said the actress to True Exclusives. "And if that’s the case, how can I be mad? Because I’m not gon' do it. Should I deprive you of not having it? That’s when the relationship is real real."

    Mo'Nique has been married to her husband, actor and producer Sidney Hicks, since 2006. They have two children together.

    While the comments might seem shocking this isn't the first time the actress has discussed her open marriage.

    "Could I have sex outside of my marriage with Sidney? Yes. Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal breaker," said Mo'Nique in a 2010 interview with Barbara Walters. "That’s not something that we would say, 'Oh my God because you were attracted to another person and because you happened to have sex let’s end the marriage."

    To each their own, right?

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    Elite Member C_is_for_Cookie's Avatar
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    Yeah, no thanks.
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    Mo’Nique denies saying she gave her husband 'a hall pass to cheat' in interview... but says couples should be open to the idea if they feel it is right

    Mo’Nique denies saying she gave her husband 'a hall pass to cheat' | Daily Mail Online

    By Ross Mcdonagh For Dailymail.com
    Published: 13:21 EST, 20 November 2015 | Updated: 13:58 EST, 20 November 2015


    Actress and comedian Mo’Nique has reacted indignantly to suggestions she said she allows her husband to cheat on her in a recent interview.

    The 47-year-old, who originally made the comments speaking to True Exclusives, clarified on Thursday that what she meant when she used the phrase 'open' relationship was that she and partner Sidney Hicks are honest with each other if they are attracted to someone else.

    Not that she allowed him to be unfaithful.


    Misunderstood? Mo'Nique denied on Thursday she said she gave her husband Sidney Hicks 'a hall pass to cheat'


    She posted a video on Periscope on Thursday attempting to clarify the situation, and slammed those who had 'made assumptions' about what she had said.

    The confusion started in her original interview with TrueExclusives on Tuesday, where she claimed she wouldn't get mad if her husband of nine years, Sidney, desired somebody else.
    She added that because of their 'open' relationship, they could discuss it freely.

    'See when you’re with your best friend (in reference to her husband) and you say to your best friend "I’m having these feelings about this person, sexually and I wanna share it with you"... when you’re best friends, you can have those open and honest conversations,' she said.



    Reaction: The 47-year-old took to Perisciope to vent on after several news sources said she allowed her husband sleep with other people, based on comments she made in a True Exclusives interview the day before


    Open question: She clarified that her definition of 'open relationship' was one where couples could be honest about having sexual attraction to other people - but never clarified her stance on what would happen if her husband ever acted on it


    'Often times people cheat because of something they’re not getting. But when you have open and honest dialogue and you say we’re just human beings and all these people on the face of the Earth, do you think my eyes won’t ever say "he’s fine" or "she’s attractive"?

    "Now if you wanna go further with it, let’s be honest enough to have those conversations. What is it about that person that you find that you wanna sleep with? Because they may give you something that I’m simply not willing to do.

    'And if that’s the case, how can I be mad? Because I’m not goin’ do it. Should I deprive you of not having it? That’s when the relationship is real real.'

    She said that people had been taught to 'have ownership' - which is the 'Western way' of relationships, whereas she originated from Africa, where kings never had just one wife.


    Sematics: She took most umbrage at the use of the word 'cheat', which she insisted implies lying and deception


    'So when we came [to America], we adopted other people’s ways and that’s called ownership,' she continued, appearing to go so far as comparing such monogamy to slavery.

    'There was a time when I was owned before, I don't wanna be owned any more. I wanna love you so much I just don't wanna be taken by anyone else. I don't wanna have ownership of anyone. We've been there before.

    'Because we've been taught and conditioned to believe that if you should sleep with anybody else, that's the damned, that's the sin, that's adultery that's the horriblest thing ever... We’re humans guys, that’s all.'

    But when several news sites began - understandably - reporting that the Oscar-winner 'allowed her husband to cheat', she quickly issued a correction.



    Confusing: But in her original interview, she rhetorically asked if her husband desired something from someone that she was 'simply not willing to do' - should she deny him?


    The actress, who won the Best Supporting Oscar in 2009 for her role in Precious, admitted that there was a time when she - and not her husband - wanted the relationship to be an open one, because she was insecure due to her fame.

    'It was not my husband's idea. Originally it was my idea, because at the time me and Sidney got together... I was still stuck in being famous, and being a celebrity, and being a star, and I felt like I could have whatever I want. I was still in an insecure place, and my best friend said "If that's what you think you need, I don't want to stand in your way".

    'That's how I felt back then. But what I didn't want to be doing was sneaking or cheating. There's no need to play those games when you have open and honest dialogue with your best friend.

    'There is not time where I said "I give my husband a hall pass to cheat". We don't give each other passes to cheat. Because when you cheat, you'll lie; when you lie; you'll steal.'



    Things change: The actress, who won Best Supporting Actress in 2009 for her role in Precious, admitted that there was a time when she - and not her husband - wanted the relationship to be an open one, because she was insecure due to her fame


    But she also said that couples should not close their minds to the idea of sleeping with other people.

    'I think we should have this open dialogue about it, because it might allow us to open our minds to just consider something different,' she said.

    'When you say most marriages end in infidelity because somebody cheated, you have to ask yourself: are we holding ourselves to a standard that we we're not meant for us to hold ourselves to?'

    However, the comedian herself insisted she will not stray.
    'I'm not saying you can't be with one person and be happy: right now Sidney Hicks baby, that man blows my mind,' she added.

    While Mo'Nique's comments seem to suggest she is okay with her and husband discussing being attracted to other people, when asked by MailOnline her stance on her husband actually wanting to follow through and sleep with someone else, she never replied.



    Ask me: While Mo'Nique's comments seem to suggest she is okay with her and husband discussing being attracted to other people, when asked by MailOnline her stance on her husband actually wanting to follow through and sleep with someone else, she never replied.



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    Elite Member Lofty Bike's Avatar
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    Mhh, if my husband is attracted to someone else, I expect him to do the same as I would. That's laughing about my silly, adorable self for a second, getting over it right then and don't bother myself and the person I'm married to with it.
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    My husband and I have talked about being attracted to other people. Doesn't bother me unless it's acted upon. We're human beings and it's natural to find other humans attractive.

    I wouldn't be into the whole open marriage thing, but to each his or her own.
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    if it's working for them, why not.
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    My other half has a pass to be with other women, so long as those other women are Mila Kunis or Bettie Page in her prime. Anyone else will result in something that would make even Lorena Bobbit go "Whoa! Too far!".
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    She seems to be in a big ole muddle. PR fail.
    I have some famous friends and I have mostly not famous friends.

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    Um, if both partners agree and are open about it, it isn't cheating. Calling it a pass to cheat is dumb.

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    Not only does he get to cheat, clearly, she is bankrolling his cheating too. She is simple.

    I am sure I've mentioned this before. IIRC I read it on Lipstick Alley or AGC.com that her husband supposedly took her to a swingers' party and she sat there while he hooked up with two women and Mo'nique ended up by herself - alone while everyone else went off to shag.
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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    This is what happens when two people are in an open relationship and middle America finds out about it. They have to backtrack.

    I think Monique is cute. I've never been to a swinger's party, but I find it hard to believe that she wouldn't have someone offer to knock boots with her.
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    Elite Member aabbcc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BITTER View Post
    Not only does he get to cheat, clearly, she is bankrolling his cheating too. She is simple.

    I am sure I've mentioned this before. IIRC I read it on Lipstick Alley or AGC.com that her husband supposedly took her to a swingers' party and she sat there while he hooked up with two women and Mo'nique ended up by herself - alone while everyone else went off to shag.
    Her choice of words implies to me that she does consider it cheating (and that she probably isn't as okay with it as she would like people to think). Most people would just say they have an open marriage.
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    Elite Member holly's Avatar
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    In the article, the twice-married actress and comedian talks about giving her husband a "pass" sleep with other people. Mo'Nique says that while couples should "live by" their marital vows, she also added "people cheat because of something they're not getting". The solution? A "pass to cheat".

    I do agree that people do cheat because of something that is missing for them - whether it's something physical or emotional, or whatever - but wouldn't it be better to talk with your spouse/S.O. & let them know that you're not being fulfilled & work on it together instead of just going to get it somewhere else? Is this too simplistic?
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    He supposedly controls her finances and career and has alienated most of Hollywood with his awful behavior. I bet he does cheat, and she has to make mental cartwheels to defend him and his behavior so she can pretend she's still in control and not like one of the dumb hussies who lets a man control her life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by holly View Post
    I do agree that people do cheat because of something that is missing for them - whether it's something physical or emotional, or whatever - but wouldn't it be better to talk with your spouse/S.O. & let them know that you're not being fulfilled & work on it together instead of just going to get it somewhere else? Is this too simplistic?
    Except 9 times out of the 10 the missing ingredient is "sex with someone other than you, " so that's awkward.
    if you're so incensed that you can't fly your penis in public take it up with your state, arrange a nude protest, go and be the rosa parks of cocks or something - witchcurlgirl

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