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Thread: Jessica Alba makes the headlines at ZeroHedge!

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    Elite Member azoria's Avatar
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    Default Jessica Alba makes the headlines at ZeroHedge!

    And Now, Expert Financial Advice From Jessica Alba


    Submitted by Tyler Durden on 12/12/2014 15:25 -0500



    In a world in which neither the Fed, nor the sellside (Goldman was forecasting $100 oil for years to come as recently as October 29), and certainly not tenured economists have any idea what lies beyond the next corner, perhaps the best place to look for financial answers are Hollywood celebrities such as Jessica Alba. So, in our pursuit of truth, financial answers and the Hollywood way, we give you... Jessica Alba.
    Yes, the shapely artist alternatively known as Cash Money, was at yesterday's DealBook conference sharing deep insight. Why? Because among all the other ridiculous capital misallocation opportunities presented to West Coast venture capitalists in recent years thanks to the Fed, her diaper delivery startup, Honest, launched in 2012 and which is unbelievably valued at $1 billion, is preparing for its IPO as reported previously.
    Here, courtesy of DealBook, is what she had to say:

    1. “I appreciate being an actress now more than ever, because being in business is so stressful.”



    Credit Thos Robinson/Getty Images For New York Times

    2. “Board meetings are so long.”

    Brian Lee and Jessica Alba are co-founders of Honest Company.Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times

    3. Raising money is “like pitching a movie all the time.

    Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times

    4. “My 30-plus-page deck got condensed into a 10-page deck, with a lot less words, a lot more pictures.”

    Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times

    5. “I had this idea of this brand where people could really outsource their trust.”

    Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times

    6. With a movie, “it’s not like your whole life is hanging on this thing. With a business, your whole life is hanging on this thing.”

    Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times


    7. “We don’t test our products on animals. We test our products on our kids. And on ourselves.”
    * * *
    Finally, for all those who would rather watch rather than listen, here is the 21 minutes clip of Jessica Alba explaining why all one needs to be valued in the hundreds of millions, however briefly, is stunning good looks, B-ish grade Hollywood celeb status, VCs with ridiculous amounts of cash to burn, and the biggest equity bubble in history. Oh yes, and an idea involving excrement.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-h9zM-iRqw



    And Now, Expert Financial Advice From Jessica Alba | Zero Hedge

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    We don’t test our products on animals. We test our products on our kids. And on ourselves.
    I love that! Who would want to try a carcinogen out on their kid first? Next, she'll probably appear on FoxNews and describe how much money we can save by getting rid of the FDA.

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    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    She's making a good product. If she's not the brains she managed to get some good brains behind her on it.
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    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Brains and Alba have no place in the same sentence.

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    Elite Member Mrs P's Avatar
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    I think my brain just farted over that article.

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    czb
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    Quote Originally Posted by gas_chick View Post
    She's making a good product. If she's not the brains she managed to get some good brains behind her on it.
    exactly. and laugh all the way to the bank while we point and call her stupid.
    qwerty, sluce, gas_chick and 1 others like this.

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    Elite Member Sylkyn's Avatar
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    I don't care one whit about this girl. To me, she's always just been a big fat nothing. She's cute, I guess, and makes zillions of bucks, but I'll never understand her popularity.
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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    I love the Honest Company hand soap. I use the lavender and it smells great.

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    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    I've heard a lot of great things about their products. Whether she did it on her own or has the right people working for her (or both), it's pretty impressive that she owns a company worth a billion dollars. That's a huge accomplishment.
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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    If you read the original zerohedge.com article that the original post links to, you will see the article is one big slam on the company, the bubble market, and opportunistic VC partners looking to make a quick buck.
    idunno and azoria like this.

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    Elite Member azoria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NickiDrea View Post
    it's pretty impressive that she owns a company worth a billion dollars. That's a huge accomplishment.

    That's pretty much the point of the article. The company isn't worth a billion dollars. Organic diapers + lavender soap do not equal a billion dollars of assets.

    In other words, this IPO is another ponzi investment scheme to pump up the price so she can cash in, grab the money, then get the hell out before it crashes down to real value.
    idunno likes this.

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    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by azoria View Post
    That's pretty much the point of the article. The company isn't worth a billion dollars. Organic diapers + lavender soap do not equal a billion dollars of assets.

    In other words, this IPO is another ponzi investment scheme to pump up the price so she can cash in, grab the money, then get the hell out before it crashes down to real value.
    Oh. That sucks. I didn't actually read the article because, to be honest, I don't care much about Jessica Alba. And now that I know that her company isn't worth a billion dollars, the one thing that was interesting about her to me is gone. Oh well.
    "Thankfully I'm an educated multi-millionaire who knows better than to speak to perverted unjust cops without my lawyer. "
    "I think she's psychotic...what do I do?" - Jenny Schecter

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    czb
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    a lot of companies out there are valued more than they are worth. i can name 5 local ones off the top of my head. and that doesn't include the biggies like FB and zynga.

    jessica still laughs all the way to the bank.
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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    So did Michael Milken and Ivan Boesky

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    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    I liked her in Machete.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
    #fingersinthebootyassbitch

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