Shailene Woodley: Girls lose their virginity after other girls pressure them

[Honey]

Shailene on losing her virginity onscreen: “I’ve lost my virginity four times onscreen — I’m a pro at it, apparently! One of the things I have been very keen on in doing those scenes is that they feel real because, I don’t know about you, but I do not personally think losing your virginity is a fun experience. It’s not glamorous — for some people, I think it is, but it wasn’t for a lot of people on this planet — so for me, it was a matter of, if we’re gonna do a scene that deals with that, it’s not gonna be, ‘Her back arches and she gasps in excitement.’ No, no, it’s gonna be messy and it’s gonna be real.”

The pressure of losing it: “I think a lot of people feel pressured into it — not by a man or a boy in particular, but because of comparing themselves to other girls in their school. So when they actually get the deed done, they don’t feel any sort of satisfaction because it wasn’t for themselves. It was for others in a way.”

The awkwardness of on-camera encounters: “It’s always an awkward situation when you have to pretend to be intimate with someone that you’re not actually intimate with … I think the awkwardness probably lends itself to these great virginity scenes.”

Shiloh Fernandez loved the sex scenes: “It was really just sort of fun for us to dive into this and just laugh at the whole silliness of not having anything sexual happen, and having to wear these pads on your private areas.”

On Blizzard: “You look at the house and its got the green lawn and no dust on the table, and it looks beautiful, but then you go inside and it’s completely broken and all in shambles. I think that’s how a lot of people live in this world.”

Gregg Araki on Shailene: “She’s not really interested in riding the YA train to fame. There’s something so natural about her acting, because she does understand a depth of humanity that most people don’t. … It’s just a joy to be around someone who represents what we do so purely.”

[From Hollywood Reporter & Page Six]

Cele|bitchy | Shailene Woodley: Girls lose their virginity after other girls pressure them

[InigoMontoya]

I can't put my finger on her. Not sure what I think about her. But no one " pressured" me, except myself.

[Air Quotes]

I haven't even seen her act and she is on my last goddamn nerve.

[heart_leigh]

The pressure of losing it: “I think a lot of people feel pressured into it — not by a man or a boy in particular, but because of comparing themselves to other girls in their school. So when they actually get the deed done, they don’t feel any sort of satisfaction because it wasn’t for themselves. It was for others in a way.”

Among my circle of friends, I was one of the last to lose their virginity. I hate the words "lose their virginity" btw as I didn't think of it in that sense. I thought of it as "making my sexual debut" so to speak. lol! Most of my gfs started having sex young at 13 and 14. My gosh, I was a few months shy of my fifteenth birthday and to them that was old. Also, when I did decide to be intimate, there was no pressure. I honestly believed I was in luuuurve at the time.

[rollo]

Sorry but you have to be a bit feeble to let other girls pressure you especially when they are not there.

[CornFlakegrl]

Peer pressure is a real thing and if it pushes kids to try drugs, alcohol, cut class or whatever, why can't it pressure kids to have sex? I see it with my daughter's group now. Maybe not straight up sex, yet, but who has a boyfriend, who doesn't, who's been kissed, who's been felt up. They are very interested in measuring themselves against each other and VERY interested in being the top dog who is more "grown up" than everyone else. They're 13. Their idea of "grown up" is of course childish, but not feeble.

[rollo]

Well obviously (I hope) they are not having sex at 13. I assume she is talking about older girls.

[sluce]

What Shailene says is often true. I've seen it far too often in kids we work with and in my daughter's friend group. Read her statement again, she is not saying they are pressured by others saying "Hey you need to have sex!" It is more that they compare themselves to others, and then start to feel left out if the others in the group are sexually active, so they do it just to fit in. My daughter has a friend who is now a senior in college. Last summer she decided that she was going to just do it with a guy they knew from high school just to "get it over with." My daughter, and their other friends, talked her out of it.

[Polyester Pam]

Oh I totally remember being in Grade 7 gym class and suddenly there was a definite separation between the girls who wore bras and the ones who didn't, and it wasn't even necessarily a "actually, I physically need one", it was a peer pressure thing combined with whatever Seventeen magazine suggested I guess. I also distinctly remember being at a sleepover and one girl said she was using pads and the other girls absolutely ridiculed her and said she was disgusting, you should only use tampons, day in and day out. It's such a weird age, where everything seems amplified so trying to do whatever your friends or teen magazines say you should be doing is a big thing.

When sex did become a thing that the cooler, more mature girls were starting to do, it again separated girls at the parties. There is this tiny window where the first girls to have sex seemed "slutty", and then suddenly at whatever age, if you haven't, you're a prude. And I remember having chats about this from Grade 7 to university and even after (I worked with a girl once who was losing it because she was still a virgin at 30; she subsequently went on Accutane, went slightly bananas, and lost it to a 17 year old boy in a grocery store parking lot) and even if you resolutely state that no, there's no pressure, I think it's still there, even if it's not outrightly obvious. I still find myself comparing my life to what people are doing, but that's Facebook and a whole other issue.

[sputnik]

i wanna hear more about the 30 year-old virgin who went bonkers and fucked a 17 year-old in a parking lot.

[BoogsBun]

I second that.

[Polyester Pam]

i wanna hear more about the 30 year-old virgin who went bonkers and fucked a 17 year-old in a parking lot.

So she'd always been really shy around guys, not sure why (parents weren't divorced, had a brother, was fine around girls, etc - not sure if any of those are reasons to be weird around boys, just throwing out ideas here) but it was crippling to the point where it took her months to get the guts to say hello to a coworker she had a crush on. I'm pretty sure they worked in the same department too. Anyway I guess she decided enough was enough, went on a crazy diet, started up Accutane, then some anti depressants and suddenly it was game on. She later said it was like her moral centre was totally turned off, and she felt no remorse for anything she did, which included buying booze for underage kids and then eventually banging the 17 year old in a parking lot, thereby cashing in her V-card. I did point out at that point there are a few laws being broken here, the most pressing being the possible statutory rape but she didn't think so. She said the 15 year old she also hooked up with the week after was possibly more grey-area.

After she realized that banging teenagers in parking lots and just off security camera, AT THE STORE SHE WORKED AT while his friend watched, wasn't overly fulfilling, she went onto her roommate's bf (who was married with kids and her roomie was his mistress) who was older and then I guess suddenly she snapped again and it was over as soon as it started. Absolute trainwreck. I have no idea what happened after. Intense therapy would be my hope.

[Angeli]

Perhaps things have changed, but I think girls are more likely to be pressured by the guys they date because the guys want to have sex (and lose their virginity if they haven't already).

[Tati]

I was never pressured by girls or guys. All I remember was being labelled a slut for fooling around with my boyfriend of two years and word getting out. In my experience, everyone liked to pretend they had no idea what sex even was whenever it was convenient for them to throw another girl under the bus.

[InigoMontoya]

So she'd always been really shy around guys, not sure why (parents weren't divorced, had a brother, was fine around girls, etc - not sure if any of those are reasons to be weird around boys, just throwing out ideas here) but it was crippling to the point where it took her months to get the guts to say hello to a coworker she had a crush on. I'm pretty sure they worked in the same department too. Anyway I guess she decided enough was enough, went on a crazy diet, started up Accutane, then some anti depressants and suddenly it was game on. She later said it was like her moral centre was totally turned off, and she felt no remorse for anything she did, which included buying booze for underage kids and then eventually banging the 17 year old in a parking lot, thereby cashing in her V-card. I did point out at that point there are a few laws being broken here, the most pressing being the possible statutory rape but she didn't think so. She said the 15 year old she also hooked up with the week after was possibly more grey-area.

After she realized that banging teenagers in parking lots and just off security camera, AT THE STORE SHE WORKED AT while his friend watched, wasn't overly fulfilling, she went onto her roommate's bf (who was married with kids and her roomie was his mistress) who was older and then I guess suddenly she snapped again and it was over as soon as it started. Absolute trainwreck. I have no idea what happened after. Intense therapy would be my hope.

Oh, my.