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Thread: Bear Grylls Proposed in the Best Way Possible: With a Ring Up His Ass

  1. #1
    mjw
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    Default Bear Grylls Proposed in the Best Way Possible: With a Ring Up His Ass



    Don't tell me love is dead. If it were, how would you explain the true and romantic story of how Bear Grylls proposed to his wife; how he hid a ring all the way up his buttcrack and then, when the couple was almost drowning while swimming, presented her with a chocolate diamond.

    There is actually no proof that the ring was a chocolate diamond, but come on, if you're going to hide it up your ass, you might as well go all the way, right? What else are you going to put up there? A princess-cut lapis lazuli? I think not.

    Grylls appeared on Piers Morgan's Life Stories last week to tell the taille of his proposal to Shara Knight: (I need to point out that this happened awhile ago in internet time, but I am never not going to report on things stuck up butts when they come to my attention. Never.)

    From Uproxx:

    "I pulled out the ring from my butt cheeks," he recalled. "She was standing there going, 'What are you doing?' She was in a towel and a massive Atlantic roller came and I went, 'Will you…' — and it went — took me up to the beach."

    "I had all the seaweed and I was spinning around," he related. "So I tried it again and in this sort of moment of heavy sedation she said yes."


    I have so many questions:



    • How big is the ring?
    • How far up his buttcheeks did it go?
    • Did he have to fart it out?
    • What would have happened if it got stuck up there?
    • Why?
    • Did it smell?
    • Why?
    • Is someone wearing the ring right now?
    • Why?



    Thank you.

    Bear Grylls Proposed in the Best Way Possible: With a Ring Up His Ass
    Last edited by mjw; September 24th, 2014 at 07:58 PM.

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    Elite Member SoCalMarie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mjw View Post

    "I pulled out the ring from my butt cheeks," he recalled.



    Jana, deenz, Tiny Pixie and 2 others like this.
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    Silver Member Jana's Avatar
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    ^ that's the face I made reading this LOL
    holly likes this.
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    and a new standard for romance is set .... the engagement ring as butt plug. Kind of surprised Kanye didn't try this.
    spinmonkey likes this.

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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    He's cute, but strange.
    "I am a social vegan; I avoid meet! Anonymous Introvert

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    Gold Member BrickHouse's Avatar
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    And so, evidently, is she.

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    Elite Member heart_leigh's Avatar
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    Wtf did I just read?
    firebrat1229, JazzyGirl and holly like this.
    Rock the fuck on!

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    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    I can't stand this idiot and his foot-faced wife.
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    Gold Member firebrat1229's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    I can't stand this idiot and his foot-faced wife.
    You might owe me a new keyboard.
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    I can't stand this idiot and his foot-faced wife.
    Uh-oh, can I ask why you dislike them so?


    I've been half-watching his new show on NBC. The last one I saw was with Tamron Hall. She's gorgeous and she seemed to enjoy roughing it with Bear. I wonder if Bear tried to hit that...
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    Elite Member JadeStar70's Avatar
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    I kind of wondered if he was gay. He was really loving and touchy with Zac Efron. Weird guy....

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    Elite Member ManxMouse's Avatar
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    He's former British special forces. All those guys are crazy but you gotta give him props for some mad skills.
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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JadeStar70 View Post
    I kind of wondered if he was gay. He was really loving and touchy with Zac Efron. Weird guy....
    Not gay, just European

    Quote Originally Posted by ManxMouse View Post
    He's former British special forces. All those guys are crazy but you gotta give him props for some mad skills.
    Yeah, I was support staff for Navy Special Forces - SEALS. They are crazy, but yeah, they are taught to survive in the wilderness with a knife and little else. I'm guessing the British special forces are pretty much the same.
    "I am a social vegan; I avoid meet! Anonymous Introvert

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    It reminds me of the discussion in Bridesmaid between Megan and Air Marshall John. I doubt the ring was up his ass, just between his cheeks. But it sounds pretty damn uncomfortable none the less.
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    Elite Member Tiny Pixie's Avatar
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    I've got a huge crush on him, but I've got to admit he's really weird. But the guy could survive a zombie apocalypse, I find that sexy
    Fluctuat nec mergitur
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