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Thread: Keanu Reeves calmly subdues female intruder

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    mjw
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    Default Keanu Reeves calmly subdues female intruder

    Keanu Reeveshad his chance to reprise his famous line from "The Matrix" -- "I know Kung Fu" -- because we've learned a woman broke into his house while he was sleeping and plunked herself on his library chair.


    Reeves was snoozing at 4 AM Monday when he heard sounds coming from his library ... yes, Ted "Theodore" Logan has a library.


    The actor got up, walked in and saw a woman in her mid-40's sitting in his chair, not uttering a peep.


    Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... Keanu calmly approached her and began speaking to her. She explained she was there to meet him. He very calmly called 911 and obtusely told the dispatcher cops needed to roll quick.


    Police came and took the woman into custody. She was taken for a psych evaluation.


    It's another amazing story of an obsessed fan gaining entry into a celeb's house. It recently happened to Sandra Bullock ... the fan ended up at her bedroom door as she was sleeping. Interesting ... that's Keanu's "Speed" co-star.


    Keanu lives in an area in the Hollywood Hills tour bus drivers call "Hunk Alley." Leo DiCaprio is his neighbor. Tobey Maguire used to live next door to Keanu. The drivers call out Keanu's house -- which is built like a fort, so it's just amazing someone broke in.


    Here's what's even more amazing. Apparently he didn't set his alarm.

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    Read more at ONTD: Oh No They Didn't! - Keanu Reeves calmly subdues female intruder
    Last edited by Tati; September 20th, 2014 at 03:31 PM.

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    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    I was gonna say don't they have security systems.
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    I think this is some publicity stunt to make it look like Keanu is well read.
    mostroop, redcat, sputnik and 9 others like this.

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    Elite Member JadeStar70's Avatar
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    I think she just got the wrong location for the book club meeting.....

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    Gold Member spinmonkey's Avatar
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    I thought the thread title read Keanu Reeves calmly seduces female intruder I'm curious about what books are in his library.
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    mjw
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    Quote Originally Posted by spinmonkey View Post
    I thought the thread title read Keanu Reeves calmly seduces female intruder I'm curious about what books are in his library.
    A few guesses:

    The Cat in the Hat
    Green Eggs and Ham
    Horton Hears a Who
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    Elite Member crayzeehappee's Avatar
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    A book about all the different ways to say 'whoa'.
    Bluebonnet and spinmonkey like this.
    This seems like a lot of effort just to marry one of the Jonas Brothers. - ChemicalHelena

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    Elite Member Kathie_Moffett's Avatar
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    I'd guess that Shades of Grey book.
    Did you know that every time a parent gives in to their kid's whines and buys them candy at the checkout lane, a kitten gets diabetes?-Dlisted
    I dislike groups of people, but I love individuals. Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking.
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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    He's fooling us all, his library contains well worn copies of:

    Finnegan's Wake
    The Canterbury Tales
    Gravitys Rainbow
    Being and Time
    Simulacra and Simulation



    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

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    Bronze Member Hostage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl View Post
    He's fooling us all, his library contains well worn copies of:

    Finnegan's Wake
    The Canterbury Tales
    Gravitys Rainbow
    Being and Time
    Simulacra and Simulation

    Years ago I saw an interview where he said he likes reading some of the books that you listed....I kind of believe him. He strikes me as super smart.....the type of smart person that may be a little void of common sense....but with that said I think he is a beautiful person- a horrible actor but nice on the eyes

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    Elite Member MissVenus's Avatar
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    He can calmly subdue (or seduce) me any time he wants!!!! :-)
    vaya con dios

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    Elite Member stef's Avatar
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    how scary. if he didn't set his alarm this one time and that's how she got in, imagine how many times she must've tried before? either that, or it was a coincidence.
    Sunrider likes this.
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    Coffee out the nose. I hate you all.


    I have a soft spot for Keanu. He comes off as very down-to-earth and a friend of mine who met him said he's a sweetheart. I just think he's a broken soul. He always seems sad to me.
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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    I would totally keep Keanu safe. I don't know what it is but I would totally throw myself at that man.
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

    Fuck you all, I'm going viral.

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    Elite Member Honeythorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Kill Me View Post
    I would totally keep Keanu safe. I don't know what it is but I would totally throw myself at that man.
    Guuurrrrrrllllllll, Vouch times elebenty!
    spinmonkey and Mrs P like this.

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