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Thread: Fuck Santa! Kirk Cameron's New Movie Gives Baby Jesus His Birthday Back

  1. #1
    mjw
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    Default Fuck Santa! Kirk Cameron's New Movie Gives Baby Jesus His Birthday Back



    Let me tell you guys my idea of a perfect Christmas. You wake up like it's any other day—it might not feel like December 25, it might even feel like, say, August 27—you go to work, you eat your sandwich, you shoulder life's banality with the resignation of a much older woman, and then...someone sends you a link. You click. Oh my god. My god. KIRK CAMERON IS DOING AND SAYING STUFF AGAIN!!!!! IT REALLY IS THE BABY JESUS'S BIRTHDAY!


    Specifically, Kirk Cameron is making a movie called Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas, in which Kirk Cameron goes around just fucking saving Christmas nonstop. Saving it from what, you might ask? Well, let's hear from Kirk Cameron himself!


    Via Laura Turner:




    The opening line of the trailer for the film asks if you, the potential viewer, ever feel like Christmas is being hijacked by commercialism, or by people who want to "replace 'Merry Christmas' with 'Happy Holidays' or 'Season's Greetings'–whatever that means." That is a really good point. Who knows what "Happy Holidays" even means??


    ...Cameron went on in his interview with The Blaze: "It's obvious that there is a deliberate attempt to snuff out the holy root that has produced all this wonderful Christmas-time fruit. I think it's about time someone spoke out and made a movie about this…Christianity…is the ideology that built this country."

    In other words, Kirk Cameron made a movie about how mean atheists and goat-people from the pit have banded together to distract America from the true meaning of the end part of December: What theologians refer to as Mother Mary's Big Squirt.


    Kirk Cameron hasn't forgotten. Why have you!?!?!?

    Fuck Santa! Kirk Cameron's New Movie Gives Baby Jesus His Birthday Back
    sprynkles likes this.

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    Yeah, Happy Holidays is a real brain scratcher.

    I worked with an idiot like this. He brought his wife and kids to the office and when I asked his kids what Santa was bringing them, they looked a me and then looked to mom and dad, who then explained to me that: "They know that Jesus is the reason for the season.". Cute, right? They must have had that little doozy rehearsed for a while.

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    Elite Member *DIVA!'s Avatar
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    Happy Holidays!!! Christians doing it wrong yet again!!!
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    Eh, I never had my children believe in Santa. No biggie. I don't feel that they missed out on anything. We still celebrated Christmas, and I do tell people Happy Holidays.
    Not everyone celebrates Christmas, it is not a difficult concept to understand. One of the main things this country was founded upon was religious freedom.

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    Elite Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    I call it Santa day, so Kirk can blow me. Christmas came about from stealing other religious holidays. I feel as an Atheist, and having to put up with all the bullshit 6 weeks before the day that I can and well celebrate anyway I see fit, and I LOVE Santa.
    Seth82, nana51, Lalasnake and 4 others like this.
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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    My SO is an atheist and I don't consider myself anything. Too lazy to be an atheist or an agnostic. Anyway, we celebrate Christmas. We say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, etc. Since I don't believe, I'm not offended by any of it.

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    Elite Member Calico Kid's Avatar
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    Mother Mary's Big Squirt. That really made me lol. But, I'm a heathen.
    sprynkles likes this.

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    holy root

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    I registered after years of passive lurking just for this. As a Christian myself, the close-mindedness of people like Kirk Cameron drives me insane and makes a bad name for Christians out there who aren't shoving their beliefs down others' throats. I have Catholic family, Jewish family, agnostic family, etc., and I don't understand this insistence that it's "Merry Christmas" only. It's as though these people never think what it would be like if other people acted the same way as them. I never encounter anyone telling others, "It's Happy Kwanzaa, not Happy Holidays." I just wish Kirk Cameron would go back to his sad little subway birthday room and stay there, because he's only perpetuating these ridiculous beliefs. Ok, rant over.

    And hello all! I've enjoyed reading your comments for years now.

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    Elite Member Bombshell's Avatar
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    Welcome, Noodle! Post more!
    chartreuse likes this.
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    Kirk is a certifiable asshole.
    Honeythorn and Lalasnake like this.

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    I've always assumed that saying "Happy Holidays" is simply a way of including the New Year holiday with the Christmas holiday, and just wishing people a happy holiday season. And, of course, it's a way of not mistakenly wishing a non-Christian a merry Christmas. I've never understood the controversy.
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    Gold Member spinmonkey's Avatar
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    Hi Noodle...I'm a Christian too and it's absolute comedy every year when the christians and atheists battle it out over town square nativity/other displays. My kids also had Santa, my sister banned Santa and Halloween for my nephews. Sad.
    Drive-by poster

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    Elite Member Mrs P's Avatar
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    If there was a Jesus, his birth date wasn't flippin December 25th. We stole that from the Pagans.

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    Elite Member crayzeehappee's Avatar
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    Every year on Christmas Eve and Easter dad would come home and tell us a story about how he accidentally hit Santa or the Easter Bunny with his car. We loved it when we were kids. I guess that made us weird kids...
    This seems like a lot of effort just to marry one of the Jonas Brothers. - ChemicalHelena

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