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Thread: Joanna Lumley [Patsy ... Ab Fab]: 'Being Patted On The Bottom Is Not Assault' ...

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    mjw
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    Default Joanna Lumley [Patsy ... Ab Fab]: 'Being Patted On The Bottom Is Not Assault' ...



    The actress
    Joanna Lumley has spoken out against historic sexual assault claims, saying things have “gone quite far now”.


    In an interview with The Times Magazine
    , the Absolutely Fabulous star said that it was a “difficult” issue but suggested that certain actions were a product of their time.


    Ms Lumley said:
    “In those days, there used to be men whose hands would linger on your waist. That always went on. As for being insulted, you learn graceful ways to get round it.



    “This is not dissing the women who have had their lives wrecked, although why some took 50 years to say it, I don’t know. It’s difficult. Of course we want people who have been raped to be treated seriously at the police station, which I don’t think they were [back then], but I think it could have gone quite far now."


    She added:
    “Being patted on the bottom, no. It’s not assault.”


    Ms Lumley, who is 68 next month, began her career as a model in London in the 1960s, when many of the alleged offences are said to have taken place.


    Asked whether she had ever suffered from “wandering-hand syndrome”, Ms Lumley said “it just became what men did”.


    And she suggested that women should also take responsibility for men’s behaviour towards them.


    Referring to a speech delivered by Sister Elizabeth at her convent school, Ms Lumley recalled: “She had never known a man in the biblical sense, but was tremendously wise and when we were in the fifth or sixth form, she said,
    ‘Don’t lead men on because they get to a point when they really can’t stop, and it’s not fair, so don’t do it and don’t be silly. They are different from us in that way’.


    “I thought, ‘What a wise thing.’”


    The glamorous actress, who recently played Aunt Emma alongside Leonardo DiCaprio in Martin Scorsese’s Wolf of Wall Street also said that while she views herself as a feminist in terms of “equal pay for equal work”, she also sees fundamental differences between men and women.



    "This revolution was bound to come, that women are the same as men, but I don’t think women are the same as men.


    “I just feel that we think differently, achieve things by different methods. I think women like chitter-chattering together and I don’t think men do. I think men like board meetings, and I am not sure women love them quite so much. I think women tend to use fewer utensils when cooking than men. I think women like buying new things rather too often while it is hard to get men to part with an old friendly garment."


    She added: “But I don’t even think of myself as a woman, just a person. Not even a person: a pair of eyes on a periscope stick.”


    A number of high-profile figures have appeared in court on historic sexual assault charges. Last summer former BBC broadcaster Stuart Hall, 84, was sentenced to 30 months for sexually abusing girls between 1967 and 1985.




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    Read more at ONTD: Oh No They Didn't! - Joanna Lumley [Patsy ... Ab Fab]: 'Being Patted On The Bottom Is Not Assault' ...

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    If my OH pats me on the bottom I consider it playful. If a stranger does it then I am going to be very, very pissed. This is my body and I get to say who gets a handful, not the random urges of some dickhead.
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    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    When I was in my 20's, I was shopping in a department store and a strange man walked up behind me and squeezed my ass then kept walking. I flipped the fuck out and started screaming for security. I don't care if it's called an assault or not, I felt incredibly violated and he had no right to touch me. I suppose women from her generation had to make their peace with that kind of thing but those days are over. Touch my ass and it's ON, mf-er.

    As for not leading the dude on, I was in jeans and a sweatshirt, and I had a baby in a stroller next to me as I looked through racks and minded my own business. Does that even matter? It would have been just as wrong had I been strutting around in a short mini, smiling at the menz.
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    Men CAN learn to control themselves. I wasn't raised to be vulnerable to every and ANY whim of a man. Having a penis does NOT give men an excuse. I hope no young girls are raised thinking its okay and men cant stop or control themselves-bs. Ugh, I don't care if she is 68--she's speaking bull. Now...to get off my soapbox.
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    They are different from us in that way’.


    “I thought, ‘What a wise thing.’”
    I think Pats and Sister Elizabeth both need to put down their vodka bottles and hightail it to the 21st century where we give credit to most males that they can control their caveman instincts.

    OK they can bring their vodka with them.
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    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    That's funny because just today I lost a trial involving two smacks on the butt. I called it harassment, the judge called it a "sexual assault." It involved teenagers!! In my state slapping someone on the butt once means you register as a sex offender. Do it again and you're looking at a mando sentence of 15+ years in prison!!! I don't agree with touching anyone without their consent but an ass grab does not a sex offender make.
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    Quote Originally Posted by NickiDrea View Post
    That's funny because just today I lost a trial involving two smacks on the butt. I called it harassment, the judge called it a "sexual assault." It involved teenagers!! In my state slapping someone on the butt once means you register as a sex offender. Do it again and you're looking at a mando sentence of 15+ years in prison!!! I don't agree with touching anyone without their consent but an ass grab does not a sex offender make.
    Read this again.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Lobelia View Post
    When I was in my 20's, I was shopping in a department store and a strange man walked up behind me and squeezed my ass then kept walking. I flipped the fuck out and started screaming for security. I don't care if it's called an assault or not, I felt incredibly violated and he had no right to touch me. I suppose women from her generation had to make their peace with that kind of thing but those days are over. Touch my ass and it's ON, mf-er.

    As for not leading the dude on, I was in jeans and a sweatshirt, and I had a baby in a stroller next to me as I looked through racks and minded my own business. Does that even matter? It would have been just as wrong had I been strutting around in a short mini, smiling at the menz.
    I worked in an environment when sexual harassment was an every day occurrence. Still to this day (it was over 20 years ago - which makes me feel very old), if some random dude touches me or grabs my butt without my consent I really struggle not to drop that bitch. Seriously, I find it incredibly offensive & MrN learnt the hard way not to be a dick about it.
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    A*O
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    Joanna is considerably older than even me (shut up) but I do get what she's saying. I don't think a playful tap on the ass is sexual assault, in fact these days I'd consider it a compliment. I worked for several years in the head office of a big UK construction company where most of the male staff/managers were pretty rough diamonds who, in retrospect,were the most chauvinistic cavemen I've ever known. Some of them were total assholes BUT if they overstepped the mark and you let them know they had, they were good as gold. They respected confident, strong women who gave as good as they got and we all got along just fine once we all understood where to draw the line. Yes, I got the occasional grope (usually after a drunken lunch) but I just shrugged it off. It certainly didn't cause PTSD like some women do these days. I can just imagine the lawsuits that would be flying around these days.
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    While I agree that in some cases calling it PTSD is going too far (SOME cases), saying it's a compliment is insulting to women who feel powerless to get men to quit it. You were lucky the men you knew would stop if you told them to, but some men see it as a challenge and next time will try and squeeze a boob. They need to understand they can't grab any part of our bodies and expect us to chuckle along because it's all good fun.
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    A*O
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    I agree but I think men sometimes do this stuff to provoke a reaction. If you don't give them the satisfaction of giving that reaction they kinda look stupid. You may have noticed that I have a pretty thick skin so this kind of thing has never got me all bent out of shape but I know it can be deeply insulting and/or distressing to others. I had my tits grabbed a couple of time too when I worked at Caveman Ltd and I gave the perp a slap for his impertinence. It honestly was a quicker and more effective way to deal with it instead of an industrial tribunal (which I almost certainly would have lost back in the day).
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    ^^I wish there were video of you slapping the caveman!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by A*O View Post
    I agree but I think men sometimes do this stuff to provoke a reaction. If you don't give them the satisfaction of giving that reaction they kinda look stupid. You may have noticed that I have a pretty thick skin so this kind of thing has never got me all bent out of shape but I know it can be deeply insulting and/or distressing to others. I had my tits grabbed a couple of time too when I worked at Caveman Ltd and I gave the perp a slap for his impertinence. It honestly was a quicker and more effective way to deal with it instead of an industrial tribunal (which I almost certainly would have lost back in the day).
    i dunno. that might have worked in your sitch, but i know of situations where the woman said NO and they were fired or removed from any position of responsibility. i'm with faithanne on this one. if the grabber has the power and the grabbee does not, the grabbee is very vulnerable.
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    Elite Member Geest's Avatar
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    If you grab my bum or tits i elbow you in the face. Hard. That is my body, my property and strangers have no business touching my property.

    I also had a fit every time someone touched my pregnant belly. As if being pregnant made my swollen tummy a communal thing, like public lucky charm. I absolutely hated it.

    Boys (mostly) have to be taught by their parents how to overcome their primal urges, like taking possesion by grabbing. Parents teach them not to grab the other kid's toy, they should also make their kids to respect fellow humans - including women. We have a long way to go.
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    I remember when I was at school and had my boobs grabbed by boys several times. I told a teacher and it was shrugged off as "boys will be boys" and told to stay away from them. It happened again and I complained again and was told to "stop encouraging them". Well yes, I'll have a stern talk with my hormones and tell them to quit making my boobs grow bigger and faster than other girls of my age... That made me very, very protective and ashamed of my body and I spent years and years hiding under outsized sweatshirts and t-shirts in an attempt to disguise my breasts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittylady View Post
    If my OH pats me on the bottom I consider it playful. If a stranger does it then I am going to be very, very pissed. This is my body and I get to say who gets a handful, not the random urges of some dickhead.
    Word.

    I remember one night when I was about 21, (like 1992-ish), me and a friend had just arrived at a club and bought drinks and a guy grabbed both our asses as he walked past and I yelled "HEY!" and he turned around and I said, "how would you like it if I grabbed your dick like that?" and he was already turning into a wimp and both my friend and I threw our drinks in his face and I went and told the door guy (who knew both of us as regulars) and had the guy banned.

    I am so glad my parents, their faults aside, made sure my sister and I held any men who tried to fuck with us, accountable for their actions, even if we use assault back on them. (As in my drink on his person.)
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