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Thread: Miranda Kerr’s post-sex ritual: ‘I always ask for a critique on my performance’

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    mjw
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    Default Miranda Kerr’s post-sex ritual: ‘I always ask for a critique on my performance’


    I don’t really care about celebrity nudity that much – I mean, I’ll look at the photos (of course
    ), but when a celebrity does some nude or semi-nude photoshoot[], I never really feel all that pearl-clutchy (unless the celebrity is really young or the shoot is particularly trashy). So, Miranda Kerr got naked for GQ UK. I can’t even find ONE photo in the entire editorial to use. So let’s do this – if you really want to see Miranda’s bum, boobs or anything else, you can see the very NSFW editorial here.


    Miranda is currently at that point of her “divorced life” where she feels like enough time has passed and she’s ready to advertise for a new boyfriend, I guess. Of course, I think she was sowing her wild oats when she was still married, but I’ll also buy the idea that she’s actively looking for a billionaire, movie star or heir of some kind. Some highlights from Miranda’s GQ UK interview:

    Aging and sex: “The older I get, the more confident I am about asking for things I enjoy. One thing I’ve noticed is now that I’m having less sex my body isn’t as toned. The more sex I have, the more defined my arms and stomach get.”


    On Orly Bloom: “Orlando and I always had great chemistry. One-night stands aren’t my thing. I made Orlando wait for six months until I even kissed him.”


    Critiques: “I always ask for a critique on my performance. I always want to better myself in every way.”


    Dating a woman: “never say never”


    Her favourite part of a man: “hands and feet. Maybe I have a fetish?”


    Sex in unusual locations: “I’ve had an orgasm in the air before. Alone. And together”


    Dating again: “I’m dating. I’m loving it. Two happy parents are better than two unhappy parents. This is my time to explore and have some fun. I’m not looking to fall in love again quickly… I still get chatted up a lot. I’ve had some crazy, ridiculous proposals – stuff that you wouldn’t even see in the movies. No blind dates, however, and I never google a man’s name before I meet him.”


    [From GQ UK via Vogue]



    Well… I’ll be nice. If I had her body (new boobs and all), I would probably be talking myself up too. I would be trying to get that billionaire dong. I mean, why not? I don’t really understand the need to ask for your lovers to critique your performance, but I guess Miranda likes to be praised…? Ugh. Don’t make me think about this anymore.


    Meanwhile, Orlando Bloom has a new interview too. You can read it here – the only notable thing is that Orly says he’s interested in raising Flynn in the UK so Flynn can have a proper English education. Orly says: “I’d like him to have some experience of living at home – in England.”

    Cele|bitchy | Miranda Kerr’s post-sex ritual: ‘I always ask for a critique on my performance’

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Critiques: “I always ask for a critique on my performance. I always want to better myself in every way.”

    That's very unromantic, mood killing and clingy.

    I work on the theory that if neither of you can manage any more movement than to turn and grin at each other then it's a job well done.
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

    How big would a T-Rex wang be?! - Karistiona


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    Elite Member Belt Up's Avatar
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    This little bitch has got tickets on herself.
    Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Belt Up View Post
    This little bitch has got tickets on herself.
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

    How big would a T-Rex wang be?! - Karistiona


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    Elite Member Belt Up's Avatar
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    Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Her implants almost look like bottle caps, the ridges are so prominent.

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    Gold Member ADel's Avatar
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    Memo to Miranda Kerr:

    Heads up: Sex isn't a "performance", Sunshine. That's your first mistake.

    Signed,

    The "Holy Shit do we have to tell these dolts everything?!?" Crew

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    Models just need to stop doing interviews, and just do their job of sit there and look pretty.
    dowcat, arie_skop and Sunrider like this.

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    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Does she get to critique the crusty old billionaire's performance too?

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    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
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    She looked better with her real boobs, those are too big

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    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    I'm all down for being told by a partner what they like or want from me in bed, but she makes it sound clinical and not sexy at all. It's a lot better just to have conversations naturally about what you like in bed or want to experiment with, I've found.
    Kittylady likes this.
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    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I just hand men my card as I am leaving and ask them to respond to my web-based satisfaction survey for a chance to win $1000.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

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    Implants are so weird looking. She looked much better before them. gag.

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    Elite Member manningmsj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittylady View Post
    Critiques: “I always ask for a critique on my performance. I always want to better myself in every way.”

    That's very unromantic, mood killing and clingy.

    I work on the theory that if neither of you can manage any more movement than to turn and grin at each other then it's a job well done.
    That's my policy too. Sometimes we high-five if it was particularly awesome.

    I think she just means she wants to know her partners enjoy themselves, but asking for a 'critique' sounds creepy and awkward. The last thing on my mind after really good sex is relaying the highlights to someone who should have been paying attention well enough to notice as they happened. A high-five and a "good job, babe" is about as effusive as I get post-coitus. During is the time for praise.
    Kittylady likes this.
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    Elite Member arie_skop's Avatar
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    She's trying to sound interesting?

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