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Thread: Jason Bateman: I Swear Around My 2-Year-Old Daughter

  1. #1
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Dec 2006

    Default Jason Bateman: I Swear Around My 2-Year-Old Daughter

    Nothing brings me more joy than hearing a tiny human talk about Elmo using the kind of language that would make your raunchiest trailer park aunt blush. It’s an enjoyable kind of trashy, like referring to toilet paper as “ass rag” or deep-fried Mountain Dew sandwiches. And it sounds like Jason Bateman agrees, because in a recent GQ+A interview about his new film Bad Words, Jason talked about how familiar his daughter Maple Bateman is with Class-4 expletives:

    Do you actually swear anywhere near as often as your character?
    Jason Bateman: I tend to use as many as I can think of. I don’t do it around my 7-year-old, but I do around my 2-year-old, because she doesn’t know what the hell I’m saying yet.
    GQ: What’s your go-to swear word?
    Jason Bateman: Motherfucker is pretty good.

    Motherfucker is pretty good, especially when the situation calls for it, but sadly it’s one of those words that will get you a non-verbal side-eye beat down from strangers if you say it in public. It’s the catchiest of 22′s: you accidentally sit down in a urine-soaked bus seat, or some clueless trick runs over your foot with a shopping cart, and you’re not able to let out a good motherfucker because out of the corner of your eye you spot the little ears of an innocent chirrun, so instead you have to use some made-up shit like muffin puffer or mother father chinese dentist. I know; these are the real tragedies.
    But more importantly than his gloriously casual use of the word motherfucker…Jason Bateman named his daughter MAPLE BATEMAN?? Bless him and his wife for gifting her with such a delicious sounding name. Maple Bateman? More like Maple Bacon. I need to stop thinking about Maple Bateman’s name; I just imagined a maple bacon pancake stick swaddled in a baby blanket, and that’s all kinds of wrong.

    Dlisted | Jason Bateman’s 2-Year-Old Daughter Probably Knows More Swears Than Us

  2. #2
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    Jan 2010
    Florida Keys


    Many of the moms I know swear around their kids. Who am I to judge? I swear alot myself but curb it around the youngins. Or try to.
    SoCalMarie and darksithbunny like this.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida

  3. #3
    Elite Member Bombshell's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
    in Delusion


    He could swear around me all he wants.
    "Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at the bowling alley."

  4. #4
    Elite Member MmeVertigina's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
    Your inner ear


    I do swear occasionally, my husband won't. If I step on a Lego with bare feet they are probably going to hear a few choice words being mumbled.

  5. #5
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Apr 2006


    So it doesn't warp their fragile little minds?

  6. #6
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Apr 2006


    fuck no. little fucks are warped when you get 'em!
    and sign me up for "this man could swear around me (and my kid, priest, mother, whatever) ALL he wants"... and I'd just say "yes, daddy!"
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    twitchy molests my signature!

  7. #7
    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    Jul 2006


    I swore around my kid all the time. She was mine to screw up. Funny how she doesn't curse barely at all. I do curb myself in front of other people's kids. Usually.
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

  8. #8
    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
    Middle America


    Fuck man, I swear in front of mine all the time. The first two were easy, we told them only big people can say bad words, and they totally followed that. The youngest seems to be more of a challenge.
    RELIGION: Treat it like it's your genitalia. Don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

  9. #9
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Apr 2008
    Wherever my kids are


    Nothing drives a point home better than a well-placed F bomb.
    sparkles and MsChiff like this.

  10. #10
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
    Northwest MS/Memphis TN


    We were pretty good when he was little. But now at age 15.... Well, it's not like he doesn't hear worse when he plays online games.

    But I can say that he's well mannered enough that he doesn't swear around us or other adults. I've heard a few things fly in vent when he thought I wasn't home.

    At least he's smart enough to know there's a time and a place for that motherfucking shit.

    Jason Bateman can talk as dirty as he wants to me.
    I'mNotBitter likes this.
    My Posts Have Won Awards. Can Any Of You Claim The Same? -ur_next_ex

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  11. #11
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Sleepy night night land


    We try not to because she's at the stage where she'll repeat things. We also used to be able to watch anything in tv with her in the room. Not anymore. She's 3 and so aware of her surroundings. We were watching a show once (I think it was Homeland) and someone said "Fuck!". She immediately said it. Thankfully, she doesn't use it regularly

  12. #12
    Elite Member Flygirl's Avatar
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    Sep 2012


    When my daughter was two and barely forming complete sentences, she was riding with my mom and she blurted out "Nana, we don't say goddammit." oops.

    My mom told me that story and I was like "what the fuck? That little bitch knows not to say shit like that!" (kidding ab the last part)
    Bombshell likes this.

  13. #13
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
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    Oct 2005


    Funny, calling my 5 year old, "Young man!" seems to sting him much more than any swear word. It actually cracks me up.

  14. #14
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    in a van down by the river


    I have a potty mouth that i try to control when kids are around. A couple of times I slipped and said Fucker. My daughter was around 4 or 5 and i told her that it was a Big People Word
    and that she wasn't a big people yet. It worked for the most part, at least until this last year LOL
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

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