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Thread: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow

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    Default An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow

    I feel bad for putting this in 'Latest Gossip' Somehow it seems obscene to put it here. If any of the mods would like to move it to a more appropriate sub-forum that would be great. In any case, what follows is disturbing and triggering.:

    An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow

    By DYLAN FARROW Frances SilverDylan Farrow
    (A note from Nicholas Kristof: In 1993, accusations that Woody Allen had abused his adoptive daughter, Dylan Farrow, filled the headlines, part of a sensational story about the celebrity split between Allen and his girlfriend, Mia Farrow. This is a case that has been written about endlessly, but this is the first time that Dylan Farrow herself has written about it in public. Itís important to note that Woody Allen was never prosecuted in this case and has consistently denied wrongdoing; he deserves the presumption of innocence. So why publish an account of an old case on my blog? Partly because the Golden Globe lifetime achievement award to Allen ignited a debate about the propriety of the award. Partly because the root issue here isnít celebrity but sex abuse. And partly because countless people on all sides have written passionately about these events, but we havenít fully heard from the young woman who was at the heart of them. Iíve written a column about this, but itís time for the world to hear Dylanís story in her own words.)

    Whatís your favorite Woody Allen movie? Before you answer, you should know: when I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brotherís electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that weíd go to Paris and Iíd be a star in his movies. I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains.
    For as long as I could remember, my father had been doing things to me that I didnít like. I didnít like how often he would take me away from my mom, siblings and friends to be alone with him. I didnít like it when he would stick his thumb in my mouth. I didnít like it when I had to get in bed with him under the sheets when he was in his underwear. I didnít like it when he would place his head in my naked lap and breathe in and breathe out. I would hide under beds or lock myself in the bathroom to avoid these encounters, but he always found me. These things happened so often, so routinely, so skillfully hidden from a mother that would have protected me had she known, that I thought it was normal. I thought this was how fathers doted on their daughters. But what he did to me in the attic felt different. I couldnít keep the secret anymore.

    When I asked my mother if her dad did to her what Woody Allen did to me, I honestly did not know the answer. I also didnít know the firestorm it would trigger. I didnít know that my father would use his sexual relationship with my sister to cover up the abuse he inflicted on me. I didnít know that he would accuse my mother of planting the abuse in my head and call her a liar for defending me. I didnít know that I would be made to recount my story over and over again, to doctor after doctor, pushed to see if Iíd admit I was lying as part of a legal battle I couldnít possibly understand. At one point, my mother sat me down and told me that I wouldnít be in trouble if I was lying Ė that I could take it all back. I couldnít. It was all true. But sexual abuse claims against the powerful stall more easily. There were experts willing attack my credibility. There were doctors willing to gaslight an abused child.
    After a custody hearing denied my father visitation rights, my mother declined to pursue criminal charges, despite findings of probable cause by the State of Connecticut Ė due to, in the words of the prosecutor, the fragility of the ďchild victim.Ē Woody Allen was never convicted of any crime. That he got away with what he did to me haunted me as I grew up. I was stricken with guilt that I had allowed him to be near other little girls. I was terrified of being touched by men. I developed an eating disorder. I began cutting myself. That torment was made worse by Hollywood. All but a precious few (my heroes) turned a blind eye. Most found it easier to accept the ambiguity, to say, ďwho can say what happened,Ē to pretend that nothing was wrong. Actors praised him at awards shows. Networks put him on TV. Critics put him in magazines. Each time I saw my abuserís face Ė on a poster, on a t-shirt, on television Ė I could only hide my panic until I found a place to be alone and fall apart.
    Last week, Woody Allen was nominated for his latest Oscar. But this time, I refuse to fall apart. For so long, Woody Allenís acceptance silenced me. It felt like a personal rebuke, like the awards and accolades were a way to tell me to shut up and go away. But the survivors of sexual abuse who have reached out to me Ė to support me and to share their fears of coming forward, of being called a liar, of being told their memories arenít their memories Ė have given me a reason to not be silent, if only so others know that they donít have to be silent either.
    Today, I consider myself lucky. I am happily married. I have the support of my amazing brothers and sisters. I have a mother who found within herself a well of fortitude that saved us from the chaos a predator brought into our home.
    But others are still scared, vulnerable, and struggling for the courage to tell the truth. The message that Hollywood sends matters for them.
    What if it had been your child, Cate Blanchett? Louis CK? Alec Baldwin? What if it had been you, Emma Stone? Or you, Scarlett Johansson? You knew me when I was a little girl, Diane Keaton. Have you forgotten me?
    Woody Allen is a living testament to the way our society fails the survivors of sexual assault and abuse.
    So imagine your seven-year-old daughter being led into an attic by Woody Allen. Imagine she spends a lifetime stricken with nausea at the mention of his name. Imagine a world that celebrates her tormenter.
    Are you imagining that? Now, whatís your favorite Woody Allen movie?

    http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/201...ype=blogs&_r=0
    crash man and holly like this.

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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    I congratulate her for speaking out - finally. I applaud her courage. Wonder what, if any, consequences will come to Woody Allen, someone who has always given me full-blown creeps.
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
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    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I applaud her too but am struck by her defending Mia which is normal in abuse victims.
    effie2 and NickiDrea like this.
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    Why would you be struck by her defending Mia?

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    It was her mother,s duty to guard her kids and watch over them and keep them safe,particularly so after bringing into their life the creep she married..you bring a man into your home,you are responsible for what happens.This doesnt mean i applaud the sicko.(though i adore his work)
    *DIVA! likes this.

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    Very powerful piece and I think its current because the likes of Polanski and Allen get a free reign and are heralded. I am glad she's spoken out and I hope it makes some of these celebs actually think instead of ignoring and sign up to their movies.
    holly likes this.

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    Elite Member MmeVertigina's Avatar
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    Ugh, so sad. and
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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    I just want to give her a hug, make her soup and let her rest. I can't imagine having your abuser be celebrated so publicly. Very brave and I hope healing for her.
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
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    Elite Member Brah's Avatar
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    Wow, I'm glad she came out and confirmed all the rumors. I can't imagine turning on an award ceremony and seeing your molester standing there accepting praise and being lauded by others, or sitting in a doctor's office and seeing his face on an Entertainment Weekly.
    Sylkyn and holly like this.

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    Elite Member Flygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MontanaMama View Post
    I can't imagine having your abuser be celebrated so publicly.
    This. That must be awful. That crosses my mind all the time with the Jameis Winstons, Kobe Bryants, and Mike Tysons amongst many others. If the victim's allegations were true in the Jameis Winston case, then she had to listen to the majority of the nation not believe her, and then watch him win the Heisman and the National Championship shortly after. I know it's not the exact same thing, but I thought of that girl often and wondered what was going through her mind and heart while watching the whole country hero worship him.

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    This makes me so sick. He is a creep. She is so brave.

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    Dylan's account is really hard and sickening to read, but the doc who headed the original investigation put sort of a different spin on it. Either way, what a horrible situation:

    Doctor Cites Inconsistencies In Dylan Farrow's Statements
    By RICHARD PEREZ-PENA
    Published: May 4, 1993

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    The doctor who headed the Connecticut investigation into whether Woody Allen molested his 7-year-old daughter, Dylan, theorized that the child either invented the story under the stress of living in a volatile and unhealthy home or that it was planted in her mind by her mother, Mia Farrow, a sworn statement released yesterday says.

    Dr. John M. Leventhal, who interviewed Dylan nine times, said that one reason he doubted her story was that she changed important points from one interview to another, like whether Mr. Allen touched her vagina. Another reason, he said, was that the child's accounts had "a rehearsed quality." At one point, he said she told him, "I like to cheat on my stories."

    Dr. Leventhal said: "We had two hypotheses: one, that these were statements that were made by an emotionally disturbed child and then became fixed in her mind. And the other hypothesis was that she was coached or influenced by her mother. We did not come to a firm conclusion. We think that it was probably a combination." Doctor Cites Inconsistencies In Dylan Farrow's Statements - NYTimes.com
    'I had to get rid of the kid. The cat was allergic.'

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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Maybe some things changed because she thought the doctor was a fucking moron who asked her the same questions 9 times and she thought she was telling him wrong and so changed things so he might stop repeating himself and making her repeat herself.
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
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    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

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    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    Good for her. Woody is a paedophile. I don't care how good his damn films are, I find it sick that these assholes in Hollywood get protected and get away with crap like this.

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    Elite Member NoNoRehab's Avatar
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    What gives me the side eye about Mia is that according to her account (given to Maureen Orth of Vanity Fair in 1992) even after Dylan told her about the alleged abuse Mia never went to the authorities. (Dylan's doctor reported it himself after Mia talked to him about it.) She and Woody were still together but were in the midst of negotiating a financial and custody agreement since they didn't want to get married. Mia continued with those negotiations even after Dylan's confession and after Mia learned about his affair with Soon-Yi. I just can't wrap my head around why Mia, by her own admission, continued her relationship with Woody and continued negotiations for him to be a co-parent.
    sluce likes this.
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