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Thread: Nick Cassavetes Says Incest Isn't A Big Deal

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    mjw
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    Default Nick Cassavetes Says Incest Isn't A Big Deal

    Nick Cassavetes Says Incest Isn't A Big Deal, Compares It To Gay Marriage & Asks 'Who Gives A Damn?'


    Director Nick Cassavetes ("The Notebook," "Alpha Dog") debuted his controversial new movie this weekend, but his comments in an interview with TheWrap may well out-shine the project itself.

    "Yellow" bowed at the Toronto International Film Festival. The movie revolves around Mary, the main character played by Cassavetes' ex-wife Heather Wahlquist. Mary visits her brother in prison, and the two are, as The Wrap's Sharon Waxman notes, engaged in a "love affair."

    Here are Cassavetes' thoughts on the plotline:

    ďI have no experience with incest. We started thinking about that. We had heard a few stories where brothers and sisters were completely, absolutely in love with one another. You know what? This whole movie is about judgment, and lack of it, and doing what you want.

    Who gives a shit if people judge you? Iím not saying this is an absolute but in a way, if youíre not having kids Ė who gives a damn? Love who you want. Isnít that what we say? Gay marriage Ė love who you want? If itís your brother or sister itís super-weird, but if you look at it, youíre not hurting anybody except every single person who freaks out because youíre in love with one another.Ē


    For more from the interview, including how difficult it was to get the film completed, head over to TheWrap.

    Cassavetes has kept busy. He acted in "The Hangover II" (as a replacement for Liam Neeson) and is currently prepping "Cali," a film about two lovers who reap the profits of a fake snuff film. Kristen Stweart was set to star in the film, but abruptly dropped out just as news of her affair with married "Snow White and the Huntsman" director Rupert Sanders was coming to light.

    Nick Cassavetes Says Incest Isn't A Big Deal, Compares It To Gay Marriage & Asks 'Who Gives A Damn?'

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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    I love it when they compare being gay or black to something really sleazy like incest or murder or something.
    "I am a social vegan; I avoid meet!Ē Anonymous Introvert

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    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BITTER View Post
    I love it when they compare being gay or black to something really sleazy like incest or murder or something.
    When people say things like that, I can't help but wonder what the hell their real hangups are.
    "AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE."

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    Elite Member InigoMontoya's Avatar
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    Huh. Really? I wonder what he'd think if his daughters started a relationship with a family member.

    Take it from Marty and Lorraine, y'all, it's a bad idea.

    Marty McFly: [acting cool] Do you mind if we... park... for a while?
    Lorraine Baines: That's a great idea. I'd love to park.
    Marty McFly: Huh?
    Lorraine Baines: Marty, I'm almost 18 years old. It's not like I've never parked before.
    Marty McFly: What?
    Lorraine Baines: Marty, you seem so nervous. Is something wrong?
    Marty McFly: [trying to maintain composure] No. No.
    [Lorraine takes a sip from a liquor bottle]
    Marty McFly: [grabbing the bottle from Lorraine] Lorraine! Lorraine, what are you doing?
    Lorraine Baines: [starting to laugh] I swiped it from the old lady's liquor cabinet.
    Marty McFly: Yeah, well, you shouldn't drink.
    Lorraine Baines: Why not?
    Marty McFly: Because you... You might regret it later in life.
    Lorraine Baines: Marty, don't be such a square. Everybody who's anybody drinks.
    [Marty takes a sip from Lorraine's bottle then spit-takes as he notices Lorraine lighting a cigarette]
    Marty McFly: [nauseatingly] Jeez! You smoke, too?
    Lorraine Baines: Marty, you're beginning to sound just like my mother.

    ...

    Lorraine Baines: Marty? Why are you so nervous?
    Marty McFly: Lorraine. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew you had to act a certain way, but when you got there, you didn't know if you could go through with it?
    Lorraine Baines: You mean like how you're supposed to act on a first date?
    Marty McFly: [stammering] Sort of.
    Lorraine Baines: I think I know exactly what you mean. You know what I do in those situations?
    Marty McFly: You do? What?
    Lorraine Baines: I don't worry.
    [kisses him hard]
    Lorraine Baines: [Lorraine stops and pulls back, Marty is freaking out]
    Lorraine Baines: This is all wrong. I don't know what it is. But when I kiss you, it's like I'm kissing... my brother. I guess that doesn't make any sense, does it?
    Marty McFly: Believe me, it makes perfect sense.
    Last edited by InigoMontoya; September 10th, 2012 at 07:23 PM. Reason: to include the right quote.

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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waterslide View Post
    When people say things like that, I can't help but wonder what the hell their real hangups are.
    My experience has been that for whatever reason, at that particular time, they are feeling vulnerable and insecure and need someone to feel superior to.
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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Sounds like the Woody Allen Online Dating Service.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Oddly enough we were just talking about this at my office and we came to the same conclusion.

    There is NO legitimate reason to ban incestuous relationships between consenting adults, especially those who are not having children. People don't like to compare it to gay marriage because, frankly, incest is "icky," but like it or not the issue of incest between consenting adults raises issues similar to those in the gay marriage battle.

    Incest- between consenting adults- is illegal in my state. A first offense can subject the "couple" to up to twenty years' imprisonment; a second offense can be a mandatory 10-20 years incarceration and a third offense an be LIFE in prison. Life in prison for consensual sexual activity between two adults.

    I am waiting for just the right case so that I can challenge the Constitutionality of the statute. Not because I think incest is moral or good but because I think the statute is wrong.

    When people said years ago that legalizing gay marriage would raise these issues they were 100% right. We're going to have to deal with a whole host of existing "moral legislation." Many laws are based solely on others' morality and it's wrong.
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    Elite Member Kathie_Moffett's Avatar
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    ^^That's pretty much what I was HOPING Cassavetes meant, however stupidly and offensively he said it. Fundamentally, icky though incest is, if it's consensual and between two adults with no procreation involved, then putting people in prison for twenty years as if they'd murdered someone IS ridiculous. I completely agree that basing laws solely upon subjective morality is inappropriate. I feel the same way about laws and religion.

    Anyway, icky is relative. An incest situation like what we just outlined MIGHT squick me out less, certainly no more, than the sort of sexual practices that involve shitting and pissing on one another. But again, that's just me. It's one of those things where if you don't like it, you don't do it, simple.

    I appreciate the legal perspective, Nicki!
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    Elite Member Froogy's Avatar
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    hmmm, maybe in 50 years, the younger generation will look back on the current majority opinion that incest is wrong and think that the opinion is discriminatory. I doubt it for some reason though.

    I find it funny that most of my friends think it is weird for me to say that I think my little brother is a good looking man. He is in my opinion, but even imagining him in a sexual manner grosses me out in so many ways.
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    Elite Member chartreuse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NickiDrea View Post
    Oddly enough we were just talking about this at my office and we came to the same conclusion.

    There is NO legitimate reason to ban incestuous relationships between consenting adults, especially those who are not having children. People don't like to compare it to gay marriage because, frankly, incest is "icky," but like it or not the issue of incest between consenting adults raises issues similar to those in the gay marriage battle.

    Incest- between consenting adults- is illegal in my state. A first offense can subject the "couple" to up to twenty years' imprisonment; a second offense can be a mandatory 10-20 years incarceration and a third offense an be LIFE in prison. Life in prison for consensual sexual activity between two adults.

    I am waiting for just the right case so that I can challenge the Constitutionality of the statute. Not because I think incest is moral or good but because I think the statute is wrong.

    When people said years ago that legalizing gay marriage would raise these issues they were 100% right. We're going to have to deal with a whole host of existing "moral legislation." Many laws are based solely on others' morality and it's wrong.
    this is pretty much where i'm at. incest is far from being my cuppa tea, but consenting adults? IDGAF, and i don't think the government should be able to stop you from doing it or criminalize you for it.
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    Elite Member SoCalMarie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ang View Post
    this is pretty much where i'm at. incest is far from being my cuppa tea, but consenting adults? IDGAF, and i don't think the government should be able to stop you from doing it or criminalize you for it.
    Agree.

    The only kinda-sorta reasons I can think as to why it was made illegal are:

    1. Taxes (how Government could be directly affected)
    For example, if you marry a family member (direct bloodline), does that exempt you from filling? Provide some kind of loophole tax cut? Paying certain dues? Etc.
    I have no idea, but just for explantation sake - something along those lines of: the government would be lose out on any money it thinks it's owed if it was deemed "ok" to partner up with a family member.


    2. Offspring Issue - Physical/Mental issues due to genetic mutation(s) that can arise from family members producing.

    But I don't see any obvious reason(s) (other than it being morally disgusting) as to why incest is illegal/why the government feels the need to regulate it.

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    I don't see why it's illegal, but it is sort of a big deal. I mean, comparing it to gay marriage seems a bit off to me. You're born gay, you're not born wanting to bang your sister.

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    Elite Member Karistiona's Avatar
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    I dunno, I know a couple who are first cousins and one of their children is profoundly disabled due to their close family relationship, and I know folk are saying its ok if there's no kids but very often there's a chance and that's not fair to the kids. I don't give a damn who anyone is sleeping with as long as its between consenting adults, but I feel incest is somewhat irresponsible.
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    Elite Member Kathie_Moffett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KrisNine View Post
    I don't see why it's illegal, but it is sort of a big deal. I mean, comparing it to gay marriage seems a bit off to me. You're born gay, you're not born wanting to bang your sister.
    Yeah, totally agree, that's what I meant when I said he phrased it stupidly and offensively but perhaps did not intend it that way (I hope.)
    Did you know that every time a parent gives in to their kid's whines and buys them candy at the checkout lane, a kitten gets diabetes?-Dlisted
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    Elite Member kasippu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KrisNine View Post
    I don't see why it's illegal, but it is sort of a big deal. I mean, comparing it to gay marriage seems a bit off to me. You're born gay, you're not born wanting to bang your sister.
    Because Incest has biological factors that are harmful to child bearing?
    Gay marriage has no comparison to incest whatsoever!

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