Bret Michaels' unintentionally hilarious Christmas card

**Laurent** · December 23rd, 2011, 07:25 PM

Exclusive: See Bret Michaels' Christmas Card!
December 23, 2011 AT 6:41PM
By Rebecca Macatee

Bret Michaels is ready to rock out this holiday season!

The 48-year-old musician shared his Christmas card exclusively with Us Weekly, and let us in on his plans for the big day.

"My family wakes up at the crack of dawn," he told Us. "We grab guitars and jam!"

Michaels has two daughters with Kristi Lynn Gibson: Raine, 11, and Jorja, 6. Last December, after 16 on-and-off years together, the rocker proposed to Gibson on the finale of his VH1 reality show, Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It.

Read more: See Bret Michaels' Christmas Card! - UsMagazine.com

ROFL, this thing looks like a homemade photoshop job and it cracks me up that he left his family out of it. It's all about him and the sad Santa hat, I guess.

**Jezi** · December 23rd, 2011, 07:46 PM

Wait, he's wishing me a... Bret Michaels? OK then.

This reminds me of the Christmas Card I once whipped up. It was one of my very first Photoshop projects. I think I was 14. Mine looked better though.

**CornFlakegrl** · December 23rd, 2011, 07:47 PM

Is it supposed to read "Wishing you a .... Bret Michaels" because it's not nice to wish THAT on anyone.

**fattymatty** · December 23rd, 2011, 07:48 PM

If you squint you can almost believe he's still 25.

**Mrs P** · December 23rd, 2011, 07:53 PM

Man, I'm so annoyed that I didn't get my butt down to Petsmart for a photo with Santa and my ferrets. Everyone at work was sending out cheesy 'Merry Christmas' emails of family Christmas photos today. I work with a lot of Mormons, and no offense, but they take some cheesy family photos. I would so have replied with my craziness!

**Charmed Hour** · December 23rd, 2011, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by Mrs P

Man, I'm so annoyed that I didn't get my butt down to Petsmart for a photo with Santa and my ferrets. Everyone at work was sending out cheesy 'Merry Christmas' emails of family Christmas photos today. I work with a lot of Mormons, and no offense, but they take some cheesy family photos. I would so have replied with my craziness!

I do pet pic cards. We go to a local shelter that does them with Santa for a donation. I have to look at everyone's kids, you can look at mine.

**Mrs P** · December 23rd, 2011, 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by Charmed Hour

I do pet pic cards. We go to a local shelter that does them with Santa for a donation. I have to look at everyone's kids, you can look at mine.

Exactly! Fur kids are just as important. I used to get photos with Santa and my old ferret duo. I always sent it out in my Christmas card to family. I'm a bit bummed by boys didn't get a first Christmas photo.

Man, if Santa and God were real, they'd bring Courtney Stodden's Christmas photo shoot to my living room in the morning. I could have one ferret shooting out of each boob a la Katy Perry Fireworks style.

**SoCalMarie** · December 23rd, 2011, 08:21 PM

I love how his name is the has the largest font on the card....

His thought process: " Oh, my name doesn't fit on the bottom of the card with that size of font"? (where a signature is suppose to go).
"Ok, well, let's switch my name with the message, people will still get the point"

**Bluebonnet** · December 24th, 2011, 07:59 AM

But what if I don't want BRET MICHAELS for Christmas? Why is he wishing BRET MICHAELS on people? Wasn't Rock of Love enough to put on anyone?!!

Gotta love his narcissism.

**Jen84** · December 24th, 2011, 09:53 AM

Merry Bret Michaels! But where are the hos??

**sweetness** · December 24th, 2011, 10:15 AM

He looks like dollar store Christmas Barbie.

**Icepik** · December 24th, 2011, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by sweetness

He looks like dollar store Christmas Barbie.

OMG! This is the best description of Bret Michaels ever!

**sprynkles** · December 24th, 2011, 11:09 AM

Oh man, merry Bret Michaels to you too dude! I was only going to celebrate Festivus this year. How fun!

**Trixie** · December 24th, 2011, 05:22 PM

Merry Narcissistmas to you too, Bret!

**Pippin** · December 24th, 2011, 07:41 PM

Originally Posted by Mrs P

Man, I'm so annoyed that I didn't get my butt down to Petsmart for a photo with Santa and my ferrets. Everyone at work was sending out cheesy 'Merry Christmas' emails of family Christmas photos today. I work with a lot of Mormons, and no offense, but they take some cheesy family photos. I would so have replied with my craziness!

Too late for that, eh? You can always bug your friends and relatives with Monk E Mail, though, to send Christmas (just pushing it) and/or New Year's greetings.

I like to torture my Uncle Subnormal, my cousins and email buddies with it at this time of the year, specifically on New Year's Eve, as that is my favourite holiday of the entire year.

Monk E Mail You'll have to wait a bit before the page loads, though. Seems I'm not the only one who likes to monkey around! This email program is more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.

Why am I not being paid for all this free advertising?

Resolution #1 -- Do not be such a dolt.

I love making resolutions so I can quickly calculate how long it takes me to break 'em -- ten, fifteen minutes?