Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries are Engaged!

**jlo25** · May 25th, 2011, 08:11 AM

Kim Kardashian Is Engaged

By Jennifer Garcia
Wednesday May 25, 2011 08:00 AM EDT

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian

It was a dream come true for Kim Kardashian when she walked into her Beverly Hills home May 18. Her boyfriend of six months, New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries, was waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

"I didn't expect this at all," Kardashian, 30, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview (out Friday) of the romantic, surprise proposal. "I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, and I never thought now."

Humphries popped the question with a custom-designed, 20.5-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond sparkler. "I just knew I wanted it to be big," says Humphries, 26, who, with the help of Kardashian's mom Kris Jenner, planned an intimate family celebration later that evening.

"Kris really didn't want a big celebration, but he had jokingly told my mom he'd be fine if there were mini-horses there," says Kardashian with a laugh. "Later that night at the party, my mom brought out two mini-horses, covered in glitter, for us! It was hysterical!"

For exclusive personal photos from Kim's engagement party – and all the details of her emotional proposal – pick up the new issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday

Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries Engaged : People.com

**Lalique** · May 25th, 2011, 08:14 AM

He's fugly.

**Laurent** · May 25th, 2011, 08:14 AM

Whatever, Kim.

He looks like a total mouthbreather.

**LynnieD** · May 25th, 2011, 08:15 AM

Thought this guy hated the media/spotlight? Surely seems so...

*sigh* This ought to be super fun. Yes I'm kidding. Unless they break up, which they probably will.

**Mel1973** · May 25th, 2011, 08:17 AM

I bet he misspelled at least 3 of the 4 words. And please! A 20.5 carat ring?! She's just trying to go bigger than Khloe. Sad, fat assed bitch!

**Laxmobster** · May 25th, 2011, 08:21 AM

He reminds me of Tito Ortiz...Baby Huey II

Really Kim? 6 months? Have you even let him pee on you yet?

**Chilly Willy** · May 25th, 2011, 08:24 AM

Doesn't she get enganged to every guy she dates? Yawn. Anything for a mag cover, I guess.

And yes, the guy looks like a Neanderthaler.

**SunShine23** · May 25th, 2011, 09:04 AM

how can he afford 20.5 carats? he doesnt make that much does he? or did kim pay?

**Palermo** · May 25th, 2011, 09:49 AM

I was thinking the same thing, she probably paid for most of that ring herself. She only wants to top her sisters.

**TrevMaxwell** · May 25th, 2011, 10:22 AM

He looks like he's got a "baby dick".

**AliceInWonderland** · May 25th, 2011, 10:26 AM

who the fuck cares! that dude is a fucking dog and she's a disgrace

**KrisNine** · May 25th, 2011, 10:31 AM

Damn, she seems so desperate.

**AliceInWonderland** · May 25th, 2011, 10:33 AM

i know right, who is this guy even?! he's fucking fug as shit, they're going to have ugly giant troll kids and she's never going to leave our lives ever!!!!!!!!

**fgg** · May 25th, 2011, 10:39 AM

totally going to last forEVAR!

**SillyME54** · May 25th, 2011, 10:44 AM

Here's Michael K's coverage of this mess. LOL Gaylor Lautner!

Wednesday, May 25th 2011
Pimp Mama Kris Strikes Again!

Maria's torment isn't that her husband of 25 years down low dicked a secret love child out of the maid, it's that she's been forced to share a magazine cover with a spotlight-fucking plastic Thundercat and her publicity stunt partner who looks like an F-list gay-for-pay porn star named Gaylor Lautner.
If a Kardashian doesn't announce her engagement in a magazine, it didn't happen, so Mama Kris worked her pimp magic and got her main ho the cover of People! Yes, Kim Kardashian is engaged to a dude who has the same name as her mom.

Kim says that on May 18th, she sashayed into the bedroom of her Beverly Hills home and found Kris Humphries on bended knee in front of dozens of rose petals that spelled out: "Will You Marry Me?" Kim didn't mention this, but I'm sure production assistants from her soon-to-be announced E! reality show Kim & Kris Get Engaged are the ones who laid out the petals. Since Kim can't move her face anymore, Pimp Mama Kris had to run out from the bathroom and loosen the Botox with a blow dryer. That way Kim could show some kind of emotion for the cameras. Kim goes on:

"I didn't expect this at all. I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, and I never thought now."

Alienface, please! Don't act like you didn't spend hours practicing saying the word "yes" that was written for you on a script by the writer of your reality show.
Of course, Pimp Mama Kris threw an engagement party just hours after Kris put a 20.5 carat diamond ring on Kim's finger. (Yes, 20 FUCKING carats! Kim's ass lips weigh less than that ring and that's saying a lot). The party sounds like a beautiful event that only a horse abuser could love, "Kris really didn't want a big celebration, but he had jokingly told my mom he'd be fine if there were mini-horses there. Later that night at the party, my mom brought out two mini-horses, covered in glitter, for us! It was hysterical!"
Yes, you stupid piece of trash, two sedated mini-horses with glitter in their ears and the look of fear in their eyes from having to entertain a bunch of snakes sounds absolutely hysterical! But what was more hysterical was the sight of Ryan Seacrest squealing in the corner about how he has enough shows to last until the next Rapture. Coming soon: Kim & Kris Get Engaged! Kim & Kris Get Married! Kim & Kris Have A Baby! Kim & Kris Get Divorced! Kim & Satan Renew Their Contract!

Posted by: Michael K

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