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Thread: Aretha Franklin has cancer

  1. #1
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Default Aretha Franklin has cancer

    Wednesday, December 8th 2010
    Tell Me It's Not True!!!




    The National Enquirer doesn't only publish stories that make polygraph machines scribble out "Are you serious?". They sometimes get things right, which is why this story about Aretha Franklin's health is making me punch and hug at the air at the same time. When Queen Aretha underwent surgery for a mysterious condition, many (including yours truly) figured she just got her stomach pinched and her magnificent chichis shrunk down to the size of a baby elephant.

    But The National Enquirer (via PopCrunch) claims they know the real reason and it's serious. They are saying that Aretha has been diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer and given a 5-10% of survival. There aren't enough Os available for me to properly express the NOOOOOO! that is swirling around my heart.

    Aretha's rep has yet to confirm or deny this, so there's some hope that The National Enquirer is just saying this to make sure their name is on the list at the VIP entrance in HELL. Yes, they want to feel all special and shit as they wave to us in the back of the line.
    (Thanks Jess)

    Hope this isn't true, but the Enquirer has been eerily credible the last couple years or so.
    Last edited by greysfang; December 8th, 2010 at 02:14 PM.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  2. #2
    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Yikes, uncool if true. Hope its not. Be well Aretha baby!

  3. #3
    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    Aww such awful news! I hope it isn't true too.
    Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

  4. #4
    Gold Member philbert_wormly's Avatar
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    NO!

    Hopefully it is not true at all and Aretha will sue the Enquirer after a while.

  5. #5
    Elite Member hustle4alivin's Avatar
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    I hope it isn't true either. Get well Re-Re...

  6. #6
    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
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    it's on the Huffington Post, sounds like it's true

    never mind, read it too fast, they are quoting Enquirer too. I'm afraid it will be true though.

  7. #7
    Elite Member JadeStar70's Avatar
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    The Enquirer has had the scoop on a bunch of stuff the last few years. They must have better snoops than in the past. I am betting it is true.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Star's Avatar
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    They were right with Swayze...

  9. #9
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I'd say it is right. I think having a few lawsuits go against them forced them to make sure they print facts, or at least have enough proof to show in court that they had reason to believe it is true.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  10. #10
    Elite Member Fly_On_TheWall's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, the Enquirer has been getting more legit in some areas in past few years. Sadly, I think it may be true.

  11. #11
    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Family has confirmed its cancer...

    Aretha Franklin is battling cancer, a family friend has announced to FOX 2 News in Detroit.

    According to the report, family and friends close to the Queen of Soul are "very concerned," but say she is doing "okay." Family expressed hopes to FOX that fans of Aretha, 68, will send prayers and good thoughts.

    In a post at PopCrunch, a National Enquirer story (not available online) is cited saying Franklin's cancer is pancreatic. The same report notes sources saying Aretha has less than a year to live.

    "Though the Enquirer is known for its often-outlandish take on unbiased journalism," PopCrunch writes, "it should be noted that the publication was the first in the world to report Patrick Swayze and Michael Landon's battles with pancreatic cancer, a disease that has a less than 10 percent survival rate and ultimately killed both actors. They also blew the lid off Christina Applegate's breast cancer scare in 2008."

    FOX 2 in Detroit was unable to confirm the specific type of cancer. Franklin underwent a "highly successful" surgery last week, though the cause was not revealed.

    "God is still in control," Aretha's post-surgery statement read. "I had superb doctors and nurses whom were blessed by all the prayers of the city and the country."

    News of Franklin's unspecified operation came a month after she announced the cancellation of all concert dates and personal appearances through May on the order of her doctors. That announcement came after Franklin's brief visit to a Detroit hospital -- no details were given about her condition at the time.

    It's been a difficult several months for Franklin; her adult son, Eddie, was beaten by three men at a Detroit gas station in September. A month earlier, she broke ribs in a fall, causing her to miss two free concerts in New York.

    Aretha Franklin, born in Memphis and raised in Detroit, is the singer of hits like 'Respect,' 'Chain of Fools,' and '(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.'
    Aretha Franklin Has Cancer, Family Confirms | PopEater.com

  12. #12
    Gold Member Brandy Alexander's Avatar
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    ^^^ Unfortunately, I think it may be true too. The Nat'l Enquirer must have some serious kick-ass spies and sources. They seem to latch on to these stories so fast, before anybody else does. Sad if it is true - that is a devastating illness...

  13. #13
    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    Damn this sucks. Such a wonderful voice and let us not forget the chichis.
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

  14. #14
    Elite Member Lily Bleu's Avatar
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    Noooo, I hope this is not true...

  15. #15
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Aw damn, I was stll hoping it was fake.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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