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Kate Moss is married
Thursday, October 14th 2010
Kate Moss Is A Married Woman Now!
The details from The Mirror on Kate Moss' secret August 7th wedding to her longtime line cutter Count Von Count are kind of hilarious. My guess is that Kate Moss is their "source" and she got so high on pink champagne bubbles that she passed out onto the cheese fondue fountain and woke up in an empty bath tub the next morning not remembering a damn thing. So she watched A Midsummer Night's Dream, cut her shit with Pixy Stix and then called up The Mirror and used a foreign accent to give them all the details of "Kate Moss' summer wedding to Jamie Hince." And here they are:
The couple, who met in September 2007, chose to wed in a small, picturesque church on the Mediterranean island of Sicily, away from all prying eyes. With only their closest friends in attendance, and Mossy’s daughter Lila Grace acting as one of three ring bearers, the whole day was relaxed, simple and, for Kate and Jamie, perfect.See what I mean. Dancing under the trees?! Who do they think they are? Sookeh in the fairy land? Gay hippies on the right kind of shrooms? Me if the tree's branches were covered with sparkly dildos? There were definitely ecstasy pills in their canapes, or the "source" was eating ecstasy canapes before calling up The Mirror.
“They planned the day for weeks and were so excited. Kate didn’t want a stuffy, formal do, but something spiritual.
“Minutes after tying the knot, the giggling newlyweds were outside the church, dancing under trees.”
Adds the source: “Afterwards locals from the village were milling about, joining in the festivities. It was an incredibly happy day.”
With all that being said, YAY for Kate and the man who has promised to hold her hair while she barfs last night's party in the toilet for the rest of his life. And condolences to Dreamboat Doherty who is doing the crackie cry somewhere:
Should've been you, Dreamy! Should've been you!
Posted by: Michael K
I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld
Any post w/ Pete D should come with a NSFL warning.
Ooh, a Sicily wedding sounds nice. Sunny, picturesque, lots of character; holds lots of fond childhood memories for me.
I'm sure it was a lovely place for her to throw a party to get drunk and high, erm I mean, married.
ITA. I was doing fine and laughing at Michael K's take on it and then scrolled down to be confronted by Pete Doherty's heroin orgasm face and the Happy suddenly faded from my day.Originally Posted by Bellatheball
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."
And scabies and crabs crawled in.
Bummer. I always hoped she and Greasy Pete would get back together.
Carrie: What kind of impotence do you think it is? Charlotte: The kind that makes it soft. (Sex and the City)
Count Von Count? Seriously?
We sure this isn't just a rumor?
They were fun.Bummer. I always hoped she and Greasy Pete would get back together.
Kate says it didn't happen:
I'm definitely NOT married! Kate Moss denies reports that she and boyfriend Jamie Hince secretly wed in Italy
Kate Moss has furiously denied claims that she and boyfriend Jamie Hince secretly married over the summer.
The supermodel, who rarely makes any comment about her private life, has rubbished a report that she wed on the island of Sicily in front of close friends in late July.
A close source who works for Kate, 36, today told the Mail Online that she is 'definitely not married'.
'Any implication she is... is factually incorrect,' she added.
To wed or not to wed: Kate Moss and Jamie Hince in Notting Hill yesterday wearing the rings that sparked marriage reports
In a front page story today, The Daily Mirror claimed that Kate had married The Kills guitarist at a 'small, picturesque church' on the island of Sicily.
The report claimed that the bride went barefoot and wore a see-through dress and was joined by locals as well as close friends and daughter Lila Grace.
The Mirror quotes a source who says: 'Kate didn't want a stuffy, formal do, but something spiritual.
'Minutes after tying the knot, the giggling newlyweds were outside the church, dancing under trees.'
His and hers: The couple have been wearing these rings on their wedding fingers for some time
Kate and Jamie did, in fact, spent two weeks travelling through Tuscany and the Aeolian Islands this summer.
During their break, the Mail published pictures of them wearing identical bands on their wedding ring fingers. They also had matching anchor tattoos etched on their wrists.
The couple, who have been dating since 2007, were still wearing the rings when they were seen leaving The Crow pub in Notting Hill yesterday, which appears to have added fuel to the wedding rumours.
Not true: The model's camp have vehemently denied the reports that she and Jamie wed in Sicily in August
Read more: Kate Moss denies secret marriage to Jamie Hince in Italy | Mail Online
wait, did i miss something? who broke your wang?
Keneesha when she banged it up a mango tree until I fainted.
Yes! That pic actually made me nauseous.
She looks great in those last pics.
She let Britney do her hair?
"Creepy, like when Tom Cruise laughs." - Bloodhound Gang
"They can take our ignorance when they pry it from our cold dead minds." - Stephen Colbert
"They made the Internet so easy even a moron could use it. And so they did." - DeFex on Reddit
Marriage, a bed a breakfast - what next, Dancing With the Stars?
I know! I laughed and then did my best Sesame Street Count impression...One...One Kate Moss for my wife...hahaha.
Don't forget to smile! DonDd
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