Star: Angelina Jolie’s voodoo rituals will break Brad Pitt's heart

[Honey]

Star Magazine’s cover story is yet another sordid “tell-all” piece about Angelina Jolie, this time loosely based on what Star thinks is going to be in Andrew Morton’s soon-to-be-released biography of Jolie. My favorite part is the “voodoo” reference on the cover. That must be it, right? Angelina Jolie does voodoo. That’s why she exists. If you read the Star excerpt, it becomes clear that just quoted Morton for one part, and then the rest of the story is various sources theorizing on what kind of scandals and stuff will be in the book. Perfect excuse to run a Voodoo Jolie cover.

Over the weekend Angelina Jolie relaxed alongside Brad Pitt at a Malibu beach party as their sons Maddox and Pax splashed in the surf nearby. While things may have appeared picture perfect, a scorching new book is threatening to cause major waves for the actress!

In the June 14 issue of Star — on sale today — we report that a racy new tell-all by famed author Andrew Morton is set to blow the lid off Angelina’s scandalous secrets. And the mom of six — who has carefully cultivated her image as a devoted mother after being branded a homewrecker for luring Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Aniston — has been desperate to keep the info under wraps!

“I interviewed dozens of her friends and associates, and they told me some fascinating facts about Angelina and her relationship with Brad,” author Andrew Morton tells Star in our new issue. “She will have to wait to find out what’s in it.”

But before the book hits shelves on Aug. 3, Star can exclusively reveal what’s got Angelina so worried: The exposé will detail her drug use, reveal her many sex partners and divulge even more outrageous secrets.

“Angie is completely panicked,” a family friend tells Star.

Pick up Star today for all the details about Andrew Morton’s new book about Angelina — including which famous men (some married) she’s been linked to over the years. Plus: How Brad’s been acting out.

[From Star Magazine]
How Brad has been “acting out”? Because he’s 4 years old, right? Because he’s always the poor, innocent kid, the victim of Voodoo Jolie. Eh. As far as Angelina’s crazy sexual partners, etc, don’t we already know everything? At some point, doesn’t it just seem like they’re throwing names into air, and claiming, “Oh, Angelina boned him in 2003.” I’ll start one. Owen Wilson - Angelina boned him in 2002. Truth.

Cele|bitchy » Blog Archive » Star: Angelina Jolie’s voodoo rituals will break Brad’s heart

[Novice]

I hate that only celebitchy posts these articles. Their blog posts are such BS (I've just read the jennifer Hudson one where they just go on& on about weightwatchers) & this one is no better.

[cupcake]

Hogwash

[sluce]

If anything, Angelina told the "sources" exactly what to say so she come off even better in the role of reformed bad girl. I can't believe he will tell us anything that she has not already told the world herself. She is like Charlie Sheen. She owns her fuck ups.

[baked_tater]

Are you serious? *rubs eyes, checks url

With this headline, for a moment I thought I was at FF.

When will Star etal quit trotting out these same tired stories.

I agree that Angie is the one behind this crap.

On another note, where are her pupils in this picture above?

[Bellatheball]

Seriously, ten points to all of you for reading this. I get through one sentence of Celebitchy (half a sentence if it's about the Triangle.)

[AgentOrange]

I knew she was into voodoo - that's how she stole Wynona Ryder's mojo (and Billie Bob Thornton's!)!

[Novice]

Seriously, ten points to all of you for reading this. I get through one sentence of Celebitchy (half a sentence if it's about the Triangle.)

*claims 10 points* thanks Bella!


N.B. Count me in on the source being La Jolie, I'm of that opinion for a lot of the "sources"

[Sarzy]

Star has to be the least reliable magazine of them all. It seems like a fan fiction magazine.

[jexxica]

stupid gossip. but she looks stunning in that pic.

[cmmdee]

Magic voo doo vagina.

I always thought Jolie had green eyes.

[buttmunch]

They need to lay off the exclamation points.

[Sarzy]

Magic voo doo vagina.

I always thought Jolie had green eyes.

Yeah I've always thought she had green eyes. Sometimes they look quite grey too. That picture looks very photoshopped.

[fgg]

Did Angelina Jolie homewreck Ethan Hawke & Uma Thurman in 2003?

Yesterday, we did a little preview of Star Magazine’s cover story this week, all about how Angelina Jolie does voodoo, and Brad cries like a little girl. Actually, I think the tabloids are legally obligated to add “…and Brad cries like a little girl” at the end of every Angelina story. Anyway, Jezebel has a much better preview, and hell, why not? According to Star’s preview/excerpt of Andrew Morton’s biography of Jolie, Morton will reveal several of the men Angelina was fooling around with before (and perhaps during) her relationship with Brad. Ralph Fiennes! We’ve heard that one before, from obscure British tabloid journalist Jenny Paul. According to Jenny Paul, “An insider claims that Angelina and Ralph Fiennes met for regular S&M sex sessions at a hotel in London. ‘They would order room service and watch the news together in bed afterward.’” Sexy, isn’t it? Some handcuffs and whips, then some CNN.

Anyway, the new(-ish) men mentioned by Star/Morton are Lenny Kravitz and Ethan Hawke. Scandal! Here’s a little more:

The claims here are from Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography by Andrew Morton. Angelina told Brad he was the first married man she’d ever slept with, but she actually has a thing for married men, according to this story.

Angie hooked up with Ethan Hawke while he was with Uma Thurman; she hooked up with Lenny Kravitz a bunch, and also did it with Ralph Fiennes.

The mag dug up some old quotes about heroin and threw in some crazy accusations about how she keeps dried powders made from herbs and roots close to her body for protection and does “cutting and voodoo rituals.”

[From Star via Jezebel]
First, Lenny Kravitz has been with a lot of women, hasn’t he? He even dated Nicole Kidman, allegedly. It’s not really scandalous because he’s done everybody. Secondly, Ethan? Really? I remember those rumors - back in 2003, Angelina was working with Ethan and Olivier Martinez on Taking Lives. There were rumors about Angelina with both Olivier (who was with Kylie Minogue at the time) and Ethan (who was about to separate from Uma Thurman). I remember I only believed the Olivier rumors, and that Ethan left Uma and began shacking up with some young waitress. Could Angelina be the secret reason Ethan and Uma split up? Eh. You decide.

Ooh, I just remembered, Kiefer Sutherland was in Taking Lives too! He would be a good theoretical match with Angelina as well.


Cele|bitchy » Blog Archive » Did Angelina Jolie homewreck Ethan Hawke & Uma Thurman in 2003?

[sluce]

Can we keep all these stories in one thread? As this new books gets closer to release they will start leaking it piece by piece. We will get overwhelmed with a few new Angie threads a day. In teh end they will all say she is a vodoo loving, brother fucking, drug addicted, saint. Mel has the full list somewhere...