Kelly Preston is Pregnant

[Lalique]

Star Magazine is swearing that 47-year-old Kelly Preston is 3 months pregnant and the father is her husband John Travolta. Don't look at me. I don't know how it happened either, but I'm sure it involved Tommy Girl doing the Scientology fertility dance (aka the opening number to Xanadu) in a white feathered thong with L. Ron Hubbard's face on the crotch while Kirstie Alley ate Oreo Cakesters in the corner. Kiristie didn't have to be there, but she heard it was going to be catered so....

Anyway, we don't need to know the rest of the details. We don't need to board that spaceship. Speaking of spaceships...

The source tells Star that Kelly and John are over the you know what: "Kelly is about three months pregnant. Both she and John are absolutely over the moon — they knew in their hearts that the time was right for this to happen.”

John and Kelly probably LITERALLY went over the moon so that Xenu could high-five their asses and pass them a basket of barley water and bottles to last the baby at least 20 years. Suri Cruise will teach the Travolta baby how to pull off the "still drinking out of a bottle at the age 4" look.

The Travoltas have had a shit couple of years with their son dying last year, and then their dog friends passing away last week, so congratulations to them if this is true. Nanu nanu.

UPDATE: It's true. The Travolta family issued this statement of words to People:
"It’s impossible to keep a secret ... especially one as wonderful as this. We want to be the first to share this great news with everyone that we are expecting a new addition to our family.
Love, John, Kelly and Ella"

The "Over The Moon" Watch: Kelly Preston Is Pregnant | Dlisted

[ana-mish-ana]

My bet that its R.L Hubbard is the father or Xenu.

[GaPeach]

aw congrats....
OK I wish they weren't scientologists but still ......they have had a hard time but still....... geez

[nancydrew]

Future headline "Kelly Preston dies during childbirth"

[LynnieD]

47 yrs old?? Ok.....

Hope it goes well..

[Brookie]

Yipes. I'm sure the auditing helped this along.

[aabbcc]

Future headline "Kelly Preston dies during childbirth"

While John Travolta makes out with the male nanny in the waiting room.

[Lalique]

John, John, John. A few months ago would have been the perfect time to ditch the Co$ freaks and come out of the closet. Now we can stick a fork in ya 'cause you are done.

[maryk]

oh wow! Congrats to them.

[OrangeSlice]

You have to be fucking kidding me.

I mean...congratulations. Now get the fuck out of CO$ John!! And take the family with you!

[Bellatheball]

Weird timing.

I'm ten years younger than her and pregnant. I cannot imagine doing this again ten years from now. I mean, seriously, a three year old when you're 50?

[baked_tater]

Disgusting, how sick. Way too old and it looks like they are just replacing the dead one. Poor daughter, bet she feels like she just wasnt enough. First the autistic boy steals all her parents time away now her ganny aged mom is birthing another one. Are they going for Downs this time?

I cant stand this nasty bitch and her pansy ass hubby.

[Jexxifer]

Whaaaa?? This was out of left field for me.

[bellini]

Are they going for Downs this time?

I wonder if she had an egg donor?

[Grimmlok]

Gotta keep the sacrificial child chamber full!