Aren't celebrity mothers peculiar creatures? Sharon Osbourne once said she was such a rubbish mum she couldn't even master a packed lunch for her children and had to get the housekeeper to do it.
But Gwyneth Paltrow is clearly at the other end of the scale. Her children, it seems, go to school with lovingly crafted vegetarian sushi.
She's even posted the recipe on her website, Goop, although it might be advisable not to consult it at 8am on a Monday, given that it requires you to have in the fridge some toasted nori seaweed, agave nectar and some 'cooked and cooled' asparagus.
Now you might laugh, but with Gwynnie sitting opposite you, all lithe blonde perfection and in sky-high heels, it's just depressing.
In fact, I'd hazard a guess most working mothers would be overwhelmed with feelings of inferiority in her company, not least when she starts waxing lyrical about how clever her children are.
'Moses has just turned four and he speaks Spanish better than I do,' she trills. 'He corrects me all the time.' What about his older sister, Apple? Has she mastered Mandarin yet? Possibly not, but she is, according to her mother 'a little smarty pants'.
No surprise there, then.
Of course, it's easy to mock Gwynnie and all she represents. But, honestly, she pretty much hands it to you on a (macrobiotic) plate.
She's very sweet, and quite entertaining in her own kooky way, but she does have an infuriating Kate Winslet-like tendency to try to stress her ordinariness.
Even when it comes to her latest film role in Iron Man 2, in which she plays Robert Downey Jnr's sidekick, the super-efficient Pepper Potts, she tries to argue that the role of PA - give or take the superhero theme - isn' t that far removed from her real life. Eh?
'I'm the person who organises everyone's schedule. I feel like that's a woman's job anyway - it's like you take care of your guy, you take care of your kids, you take care of the house, so I didn't think it was very far from my life in a lot of ways.'
Get underneath all the wacky diet and meditation stuff (she could bore for England on the merits of meditating), and it's true that Gwynnie does share some of the dilemmas of any other working mother.
Her other half is Chris Martin, of Coldplay fame, and both their jobs involve shuttling between their two homes in London and New York.
She says she could do three films in a year and spend her whole life globetrotting, but she has made a decision to curtail her ambition.
She talks a lot of work-life balance.
'I have these two beautiful kids and I just want to be home with them. It's probably not the best thing for your career, but my kids are my priority.
'I could throw myself into my career and then I'd probably lose my marriage. You don't want to get too career-orientated and lose that.'
Now that's quite an admission, and a laudable sentiment, but it does make her other 'career' - her website - all the more puzzling.
She admits that offering advice on everything from diet to wine choices (yes, really) takes up a lot of her time. So why did she set it up in the first place?
She goes a bit airy-fairy again while explaining. 'I don't know. I think because I always felt like a very, very fortunate person, and I get to travel and get exposed to yoga, macrobiotics, Chinese medicine, detoxing. And I started accumulating all of this information, and I have access to these amazing people.
'Like I would be at a conference and meet a nutritionist at the forefront of cutting-edge science and learn all of this cool stuff. And I thought, surely there's a mum in Ohio who would want to know this, but doesn't have the access to it?
Or, if I ask Kate Moss what the best vintage clothing store in London is, then why shouldn't you know too? So I thought it would be fun to share it.'
And share she has, although whether mums in Oldham are as appreciative as the mums in Ohio is debatable. One rather suspects Sharon Osbourne, with all her motherly failings, would get a warmer reception there.
Read more: Macrobiotic mum to her kids. PA to hubby Chris Martin. Font of new age wisdom to the world...Is Gwyneth Paltrow too good to be true? | Mail Online