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Thread: Maybe I'm part of Amy's problem: Father Mitch Winehouse comes clean

  1. #1
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Default Maybe I'm part of Amy's problem: Father Mitch Winehouse comes clean

    One of the greatest and certainly most original talents to emerge in the 21st Century, Amy Winehouse fascinates us all. Everyone loves to read about Amy. Her dissolute lifestyle, her turbulent on-again, off-again relationship with Blake Fielder-Civil, and her erratic performances both on and off stage make headlines round the world.
    As a journalist, film-maker and author, I have spent months with her father Mitch, his second wife Jane, Amy’s mother Janis and with Amy herself in London, Switzerland and St Lucia for my book Saving Amy – which is published on Thursday – and an accompanying documentary.
    My aim was to show the love, fear and powerlessness that families experience as they watch the lives of loved ones spiral out of control. The one constant is the love that Mitch and Janis have, and often express, for Amy. But is that love healthy? How much of her addiction is fuelled by something in her past? How much stems from the relationship that Amy has with Mitch, and the other women in his life? Is it possible that families sometimes fuel the addictions of their loved ones? And what can be done to break the cycle?

    Double act: Amy Winehouse and her father Mitch in the studio with Daphne Barak

    For me, one question stands out: just what happened to Amy Winehouse in the past to make her pursue the path which she is following?
    In November 2008, I meet Mitch at Les Ambassadeurs, a private members’ club in Mayfair. As we talk, his mobile suddenly rings and his face lights up. ‘It’s Amy!’ he exclaims before chatting animatedly with his daughter.
    Mitch is obviously pleased, but for the rest of our meeting, I notice he periodically glances at his phone, almost willing it to ring again. When I mention his anxiety, he admits: ‘I worry when I get a phone call because I don’t know what bad news I may get. But I’m just as worried when I don’t hear because I don’t know what might have happened.’

    Amy missed Mitch not being around

    This love and fear for Amy is a recurring theme throughout my many conversations with the Winehouse family. But I can’t help wondering how much of her addiction is rooted in her childhood, in her parents’ divorce and in the way she is treated by her parents now – as a naughty child, rather than an adult.
    During my time with the Winehouses I’m struck by the different approaches that Mitch and Janis take to their daughter. Janis is a trained pharmacist who has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.
    Although Mitch states that he can’t ‘lock Amy up’ he is always keeping an eye on her. Her bodyguards are constantly reporting back to him on Amy’s whereabouts and he seems to devote all of his time to trying to save his daughter from her addictions. Janis’s fatalistic view and her almost cold acceptance that only Amy can help herself is the opposite of Mitch’s behaviour.
    Father's concern: Mitch keeps a watchful eye on his daughter

    Mitch seems to have little real understanding of the difficult dynamic within his family, as I witnessed first hand at a party I threw for him in late December 2008, again at Les Ambassadeurs. Flanked by his beautifully turned-out first and second wives, he told me: ‘Somehow I managed to find this woman [gesturing to Janis] first of all, and this lovely lady [Jane] after that. They’re not so lucky. I’m the lucky one and this is what it’s all about. OK, these women are just fantastic. They are strong women, Janis and Jane. I love them both – only Jane just a little bit more. So, that’s the way that it goes.’
    Mitch tells me his relationship with his ex-wife is still warm. ‘We get on great. What is even nicer is that Janis and my wife, Jane, get on very well. My wife is a nice person. My ex-wife is a nice person and I like to think that I am a nice person.’
    But Janis says that one of the hardest things she had to face when Amy was hospitalised with a serious lung infection in November 2008 was the fact that Jane was sitting on the other side of her daughter’s bed.
    And despite all his protestations of happy families, there is no doubt that the pivotal event in the life of the Winehouse family was Mitch and Janis’s separation in 1992, when Amy was just nine years old and her brother Alex, 12.
    Janis recalls that Amy missed Mitch not being around – he was a travelling salesman and Jane was his long-term secretary – and that this might be why there is a lot of anger in her songs. Indeed, Mitch’s treatment of Janis and his affair with Jane is certainly something Amy deals with in her song What Is It About Men.

    Different approach: Amy Winehouse's mother Janis, centre, with Mitch's second wife Jane, left, and Daphne

    If, as Mitch insists, the family was all kisses and cuddles before he walked out on his wife and children, the subsequent divorce must have been even more painful for those he left behind.
    He tells me: ‘I have looked back and thought how could we have done things differently. Maybe if I had stayed with Amy’s mum – I was not unhappy with her but I wanted to be with Jane. What would that have done to me? Maybe it would have made the situation worse.
    ‘Maybe if I had been firmer with Amy. Maybe I was too firm. We did the best that we could in our own limited way. We encouraged our children, we didn’t bully them and we didn’t hit them . . . maybe we could have done better, I don’t know.’
    But Janis denies that the divorce had an effect on her daughter’s life. ‘No, no, no,’ she tells me. ‘It was life’s experience – and that’s it. We go through life and we experience it in our own way.’

    However, it was clear by the time Amy was 14 that she was starting to act up in earnest. ‘She began to stay out all night,’ says Mitch. ‘I had to go and find her and I was convinced that she was dead. That is the way that my mind works, unfortunately.
    ‘I would be driving through the streets of North London looking for her, knocking on people’s doors . . . completely irrational, but that’s the way you are where your children are concerned.’

    Anorexia sufferers don't want to be treated as women; they want to be treated like little children

    I ask him if he thought Amy did it on purpose. ‘It’s possible, but I don’t think so. I don’t think Amy has ever thought through the consequences of her actions. She has never taken responsibility for her actions. I don’t think she was any different to how she is now.’
    I comment that anorexia sufferers often don’t want to be treated as women; they want to be treated like little children. ‘I am not a psychiatrist,’ he says. ‘But I would say that would be fairly accurate. She has found it difficult doing what she has done for so many reasons and maybe deep inside her mind she would prefer it to be as it was. A lot less complicated, like when she was 14 years old.’
    I know many people believe Mitch is capitalising on his daughter’s fame and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle at her expense. While I do believe that Mitch really cares about Amy and would do anything to help her, I think that the money is a real issue. Mitch brings up Amy’s finances in our interviews and it does seem to be an important topic for him.
    He says: ‘The thing Amy loves more than anything else is to perform live. But at her worst, she was taking ridiculous decisions. She was about to board the plane for one concert, when she turned around and walked off. That cost her £80,000 in lost fees. There was a missed performance later in Paris that cost her maybe £100,000. I tried to sit down and explain to her what this was going to cost her and she didn’t care.
    'She loves more than anything else to perform live': Amy at the V Festival in 2008

    ‘At that early stage in her career, that could make or break her. I remember thinking to myself, “My daughter is going to be a superstar with absolutely no money.” Although we don’t care about money per se, you wouldn’t want to be without it.’
    When I first met Mitch and we began this project together, he was not in full control of Amy’s money. However, when Amy was in hospital in November 2008, the step was taken to put Mitch and Janis in control. I don’t doubt that he had good intentions and, at that point, I thought it was a good idea, as it would help to stop Amy spending her money on drugs.
    Mitch is adamant that Amy is now free of drugs and has overcome her addiction, but if this is the case why does he still feel the need to control his daughter in this way? If Amy is healthy and clean, then it doesn’t make sense for her parents to still be in charge of her money.
    I ask Mitch if he and Amy are close. ‘VERY close,’ he answers.
    It strikes me that Mitch is in constant denial about Amy. Maybe this is because he loves her and he really wants to grab on to any glimmer of hope that Amy is OK. It strikes me that, while on paper Amy should have some really good female role models within her family, in reality everything seems to be about her and Mitch.
    It is clear to me that Amy, rather than either of Mitch’s two wives, has first call on her father. Jane is supposed to be first in his life, but that does not happen because Amy needs him constantly. That, in a way, could be Amy’s revenge. That and the fact that Mitch has little choice but to maintain his close relationship with Janis – because of Amy’s behaviour.
    Mitch often complains that the situation tears him into pieces, but I can’t help feeling that he created it and that it works in a way because it enables him to have full control.
    ‘We have all got a very strong sense of family,’ Mitch says.‘Amy’s sense of family is even stronger, which is a kind of contradiction and one of the “weapons” I’ve used.
    ‘If I don’t see her often, very very quickly she will say to Raye, her manager, “Where’s my dad? Is my dad OK? I haven’t spoken to my mum.”
    ‘I don’t know if it does her any good, because I don’t want her to think because I’ll sit there and we’ll have a kiss and cuddle and have a cup of tea that I am in any way empowering her to carry on doing what’s she’s doing.’
    Last spring, I went to visit Amy and her father in St Lucia, where she was on an extended holiday. Amy is excited, but Mitch has texted me in advance to tell me that while Amy looks healthier, she is drinking a lot and he is struggling to cope.
    Over dinner, her behaviour is erratic. She disappears to smoke, and – her father suspects – drink. She barely touches her food and I wonder if her anorexia has returned.
    Less than half an hour later, Mitch is upset again when Amy is rude to a guest. She finally walks away like a little girl sent to the corner. ‘I need to go now,’ she murmurs. ‘My daddy wants me to go. I have been a bad girl. I drunk too much.’

    'My daddy wants me to go. I have been a bad girl. I drunk too much'

    I throw a barbecue to cheer him up. I have noticed that Amy can’t really handle sit-down meals. I discuss it with her, but when I run into her again a couple of hours later, she is hostile and quite drunk. She mumbles that she and her band are far too busy to attend. She will probably have to record all night, she says, although judging by her current behaviour, she’s not really in a fit enough state to record anything. The musicians and bodyguards seem quite used to her sudden change in mood.
    We had been scheduled to film. But Amy says we can’t. I tell Mitch that he doesn’t treat her like a 26-year-old woman, but like a five to six-year-old child. Mitch, looking fit to explode, rushes off and comes back half an hour later, telling me that Amy is expecting us in the studio.
    When the music starts, Mitch wells up. The song is Daddy’s Home. Amy is sitting at the drums, obviously drunk, but trying to play along. She motions to Mitch, and gives up her seat to him. When he starts playing, Amy picks up the guitar and plays along. Then she runs up and kisses him full on the lips.
    She is trying so much to please him and she is so drunk. All I can think is, ‘Why?’ She starts crying again and through her tears says, ‘Daph, I did show them how good I am five years ago.’

    Recovery: Amy on nights out in London recently. Her father Mitch believes he is too controlling of her

    I hug her closely because this is the moment of truth. Amy doesn’t think she can repeat her big successes. And the insecurity is something she cannot talk about with those very people who should be able to help her. It is heartbreaking.
    Later that night Mitch says: ‘Daphne, I need you to do a favour for me. I need you to leave with me tomorrow.’ I tell him it’s too late and ask why. Mitch repeats: ‘I am afraid to leave you here alone is not about the drugs and it isn’t about Blake or all the alcohol that she drinks. My daughter is very sick. She has a psychiatric problem...she needs to go for a very long treatment.
    ‘I am scared to leave you here because she confuses you with me and I think that because of her problems with me she could become violent with you.’ We end up filming outside my villa. Mitch murmurs: ‘Maybe I am part of the problem.’
    Finally, he has acknowledged that his own controlling nature might be contributing to Amy’s troubles. ‘I tend sometimes to make a situation worse than it is,’ he adds.
    He tries to explain by imagining a situation where Amy meets a stranger. He says: ‘In my mind, Amy is not talking to a nice woman on the beach, she is talking to a potential drug dealer. She is not – but unfortunately that is how my mind has been working.

    'So what I have got to do is try to retrain my mind so that when I see her talking to a perfectly normal person on the beach, that is fine, I don’t need to intervene. Why shouldn’t she be saying anything other than pleasantries? Sometimes I think I make the situation worse, unquestionably.’
    It is clearly difficult for Mitch not to treat his beloved daughter like the child he thinks she is. I ask him whether he thinks she will continue with her recovery. ‘We’re all in recovery,’ he answers.
    This begs the question: Recovery from what?
    * Saving Amy, by Daphne Barak, is published on Thursday by New Holland at £9.99. To order your copy for the special price of £8.99 call the Review Bookstore on 0845 155 0713.

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  2. #2
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    Unless Mitch is buying Amy the drugs and booze, he's not responsible for her addictions. Now trying to take any of the blame for Amy's addictions, instead of putting the responsibility completely on her, IS making him part of the problem.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Dorahacky's Avatar
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    Is Janis a pinhead? That pic of her really looks fucked up.
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    Elite Member sprynkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dorahacky View Post
    Is Janis a pinhead? That pic of her really looks fucked up.
    OMG..her head is tiny!

    And it totally looks like Amy's dad is gawking at her chest.

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    He is the English Michael Lohan.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!

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    Elite Member Cali's Avatar
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    This Daphne person irritates me. I'm not so sure that she's got it right about Amy.

    Besides isn't Amy bulimic, not anorexic? I know eating disorders are often all blurred together, but the way this woman describes Amy's 'anorexia' isn't ringing true.

    And is she trying to insinuate that there was something weird going on there, possibly incestuous?

    It is really creepy that she says she has to go because 'she's been bad' and all the stuff about calling him Daddy, sitting on his lap, kissing him on his lips, plus his obsessive protection of her. Each of those things might be okay alone, in a different situation. BUt altogether, it starts to paint a weird picture.

  7. #7
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    The drugs have made Amy dependent. She has an addictive personality and a fragile mental state. All I can say is that being with Mitch must be better than being with Blake and she seems to need to be with somebody the whole time or she would be wandering the streets.

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    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    Amy Winehouse's devastating attack on her father Mitch | Daily Mail Online

    From beyond the grave, Amy Winehouse's devastating attack on her father, Mitch

    February 2008, and Amy Winehouse is sweeping the board at the Grammy awards in Los Angeles. While she watches from a hotel room in London — visa and legal issues having kept her out of America — she is announced as the winner of record of the year, best new artist, best female pop vocal performance for her hit single Rehab, and best pop vocal album for Back To Black.

    Undoubtedly, it's an astonishing haul of awards for any artist, and especially for one who is just 24 years old. But observers note she looks sad as well as stunned over the satellite link, paying tribute to 'my Blake incarcerated' — her husband Blake Fielder-Civil, then in jail for his part in a pub brawl.

    According to a major documentary film, Amy, which premieres in Cannes today, that sense of deflation carried on after the cameras stopped rolling.

    In her brief period of fame, Winehouse had been counted as one of the great vocal talents of her generation

    Her friend Juliette tells the film-makers: Afterwards she said to me: 'This is so boring without drugs.'

    'It should have been one of the greatest moments of her life. I thought: 'Oh Amy.' It made me cry.'

    The film is an, at times, unsparing portrait of the singer Amy Jade Winehouse, who died aged 27 in 2011 after a drinking binge.

    In her brief period of fame she had been counted as one of the great vocal talents of her generation — Hollywood crooner Tony Bennett believes that she rivalled legends Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holliday. But her hectic and chaotic life left her spectacular career in ruins by the time she died.

    A desperate love affair with Blake had led to addictions to heroin and crack cocaine. He wasn't faithful to her, and they divorced.

    By the time of her death she had been clean of drugs, according to her family, for three years. She was also said to be engaged to film director Reg Traviss — although this new romance was on and off as she struggled with her drink problem.

    On a bad day she would wake up, drink a bottle of wine, and go back to bed again. On worse days she would binge on vodka.

    In July 2011 she was found dead in bed at her home in Camden, North London, by a bodyguard who had been hired to keep an eye on her. An inquest found she died of alcohol poisoning, with two empty vodka bottles beside her bed.

    Blame for Amy's troubles is laid far and wide by the film. Blake Fielder-Civil's role in her downfall is discussed at some length. Amy's father Mitch, though, says that in the end it was down to her, and that the family did all they could.

    And this is what has caused an immense and unedifying row, ahead of the film's premiere at noon. For the Amy on screen leaves viewers in no doubt that Mitch was not a great father.

    He is seen visiting her in St Lucia with a film crew in tow — seeking his own slice of fame via another documentary — and in footage chosen for the new film she looks clearly appalled.

    For the Amy on screen leaves viewers in no doubt that Mitch (pictured) was not a great father

    Amy is seen saying: 'Why have you done this to me? You have to come out with a camera crew! Are you only interested in me for what you can get out of me?'

    And at the time Mitch's resulting documentary was aired, she wrote on Twitter: 'WHY don't my dad WRITE a SONG when something bothers him instead of going on national TV?'

    One sound engineer from the recordings she did at that time goes further, describing Mitch as a 'gold digger', an allegation vehemently denied by Mitch.

    Not surprisingly, Mitch's assertion that Amy quickly got over the trauma of his leaving her, mother Janis and brother Alex to start a new life with second wife Jane is treated sceptically by the film-makers.

    Blake, who has been interviewed for the film, says that Amy told him that her father walking out was the reason why she was so promiscuous in her early 20s. And there is footage of her as a teenager, bulimic and tattooed, admitting she is on anti-depressants aged 15.

    One person who has seen the film commented on its portrayal of Mitch: 'He comes across as utterly exploitative and wanting to get what he can out of having a famous daughter. While he is in St Lucia they have a row because he tells her off for being rude to some fans who wanted a picture.

    'That might sound entirely reasonable — but his manner gives the impression that he cares more about their sensibilities than hers.'

    Another person who has seen the film comments: 'There is no doubt that Mitch doesn't come out of it well at all. He loved her, but in his own way.'

    As you might expect, Mitch — a bluff former cab driver — has plenty to say about all of this. This week he is in Boca Raton, Florida, looking at a scheme to teach disadvantaged children music after school.

    Mitch works full-time for the Amy Winehouse Foundation, the charity set up in her name, which educates youngsters about alcohol and drugs, among other initiatives connected to music

    He tells me over the phone that he and Amy were 'great friends' and that he saw her every day. He is not attending the premiere — having not been invited — but will send his lawyers to see it when it's released.

    It has to be said that Mitch, 50, is unnervingly cheery. He talks about the 'emotional toll' of the film, but in truth his prevailing feeling seems to be annoyance.

    And there is a sense that he enjoyed the entree into showbiz which Amy provided. In 2010 he released a jazz album, and he continues to perform. He readily agrees that, were it not for her, nobody would want to hear him sing.

    What's more, within a week of Amy's dying, he visited the Houses of Parliament to talk about addiction, and gave dozens of interviews in the weeks which followed.

    On the anniversary of her death he brought out a book, Amy, My Daughter. Some of her fans were appalled that he included a 'treasure trove of touching handwritten notes' from Amy in his book.

    One wrote online: 'This man is a money-grabbing self-publicist.'

    Still, any serious fire was drawn when he announced that £1 from every copy sold would go to The Amy Winehouse Foundation. Mitch tells me that the advance alone gave the charity £1.5 million.

    But the uncomfortable truth is that, with his daughter gone, Mitch Winehouse has had both the charitable cause and the media platform to rise to a level of fame which he clearly rather relishes.

    And his fame by association leaves some feeling rather queasy. Mitch has also been feeling uneasy — for different reasons.

    He tells me: 'I started to worry about the film when they were interviewing Amy's friends. Some of them had walked out and said that they couldn't speak to these people because the questions were so skewed and wrong.

    'Then I saw the first cut. I thought: 'Well, if this goes out I couldn't walk down [central London's] Wardour Street without someone punching me in the face.' It didn't just put me in a bad light, it put Amy in a bad light as well.'

    He adds: 'It was completely negative. They wanted to present the last three years of her life as lonely and unhappy, and to say that she was on her own. Nothing could be further from the truth.'

    Mitch admits 'there were some bad moments. But she was clean of drugs for three years before she died. She had a wonderful relationship with Reg and her family and her friends. She was doing so well.'

    He has, he believes, fallen victim to the demands of Hollywood-style story-telling. 'They wanted to have a hero and a villain. Amy is the hero and Blake and Raye (Cosbert, her manager) and me are lined up as the villains. And then they work up to their tragic ending. The fact that there was Reg and that happiness is ignored because it doesn't fit in.'

    In July 2011 she was found dead in bed at her home in Camden, North London, by a bodyguard who had been hired to keep an eye on her

    Specifically, Mitch says that Amy was 'fine' about the camera crew he brought to St Lucia.

    He adds that there were hours of footage of them getting on well together, but that the film-makers — the team behind the acclaimed documentary Senna, about the late racing driver — chose to use one argument.

    They also used footage of him talking about her in 2007, saying that he didn't think she needed to go to rehab 'at this time' — and removed that final, key phrase.

    The film-makers say: 'We came on board with the full backing of the Winehouse family and we approached the project with total objectivity.

    'We conducted in the region of 100 interviews with people that knew Amy Winehouse; friends, family, former partners and members of the music industry that worked with her. The story that the film tells is a reflection of our findings from these interviews.'

    Mitch is more positive, however, about the first 45 minutes of the film, which has a lot of footage of Amy as a young girl and a teenager.

    Some of it has come from the Winehouse family, who have been paid by Universal, Amy's record label. Mitch says he has already given the money to the foundation, and that despite this current dispute has no intention of repaying it. 'I'm not giving it back, that money will go in Amy's name to help people,' he says. 'I am concerned that if I am portrayed as a money-grabber it may have an effect on people thinking of supporting the foundation.

    He says he feels 'misled', while Amy's mother Janis 'is as upset as I am'. As we finish the interview, Mitch starts to muse about what he would do if he was at today's premiere.

    'I would make a speech on the red carpet, they wouldn't be able to stop me. I want to tell everyone that this isn't the truth.'

    Which would also, as Mitch's critics would surely point out, put him back in the spotlight again.

    But then the one person who could establish the truth about what went wrong for Amy Winehouse is gone — her talent snuffed out by disastrous choices.

    What is certain is that, with her name once more expected to pull in the crowds at the box office, the finger-pointing is unlikely to conclude any time soon.

    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

  9. #9
    Elite Member Belt Up's Avatar
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    I miss her so much

    Little clip of the film here: Amy Winehouse's devastating attack on her father Mitch | Daily Mail Online
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  10. #10
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    I know. I'd like to see the film before I comment. I see I said five years ago that the drugs (and drink) were destroying her mind (and also her body.)
    I have some famous friends and I have mostly not famous friends.

  11. #11
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    I can't wait to see the documentry..she was a talent like no other.

  12. #12
    Elite Member azoria's Avatar
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    This makes me furious. When do we stop blaming our failures/successes on someone else?

    Each and everyone of us makes our way through life with all the baggage that has been loaded on to us. Some people get a silver spoon from which to sip, and some people get a rotten apple to chew on.

    Each of us spends our life's worth in ways which we choose. If we choose to taunt a totalitarian government with truth, the individual will likely spend his life in jail, this is a choice. If we choose to be hedge fund traders we may become rich by stealing other people's money and futures.

    Even in the worst totalitarian regimes, there are choices. In the free-est of societies there are choices.

    Amy made her own choices according to her own off-kilter inner voices. Blame the world, blame government, blame bad parenting, blame economics, blame record executives, blame the media industry, blame drugs - Amy made bad choices. Period.

    There is no assurance that talent and intelligence will guarantee an individual makes good decisions for themselves in the circumstances they have been given.

  13. #13
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    I don't think people her age see it like that though (generally speaking.) It takes years to stop blaming your parents! In her case, she was obviously a headstrong and difficult child (maybe undiagnosed or just her character) and one parent left the family and the other one obviously struggled and had another child to raise as well. They did send her to stage school and she didn't want to go through with the training. She rebelled all her short life and that is exhausting.
    I have some famous friends and I have mostly not famous friends.

  14. #14
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Not surprisingly, Mitch's assertion that Amy quickly got over the trauma of his leaving her, mother Janis and brother Alex to start a new life with second wife Jane is treated sceptically by the film-makers.

    Uh...Nobody gets over this quickly. If ever.

    If nothing else, this dad sounds very overbearing. Speaking from experience, when you have a parent that makes everything about themselves it's exhausting.
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    Quote Originally Posted by azoria View Post
    Each of us spends our life's worth in ways which we choose. If we choose to taunt a totalitarian government with truth, the individual will likely spend his life in jail, this is a choice. If we choose to be hedge fund traders we may become rich by stealing other people's money and futures.

    Even in the worst totalitarian regimes, there are choices. In the free-est of societies there are choices.
    I disagree wholeheartedly with this. I think only a free choice is a true choice. Having to choose between living under oppression or speaking up and going to prison is not a free choice.
    In the same manner, I would say that a person who's been abused as a child is not nessasarily free to choose having happy, healthy relationships later in life. I think we're very much bound to make certain choices based on our life experiences, some of which we aren't in control of. I also think it's very human to blame those choices on the person(s) who are responsible for the life experiences (aka parents).

    Could Linday Lohan have turned out any other way than a klepto drug addicted high end call girl with parents like hers? I would say no, she was bound to choose this life. Can Lindsay turn her life around now? I would say yes, she has been given ample opportunity to freely choose a better life.

    IMO theres's no clear cut line between free and bound choices, and therefore no clear line as to when we should stop blaming others and start assuming resposability for our own lives. It's part of the human condition.
    twitchy2.0 likes this.

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