Seriously, Michael K needs his own show STAT.
Ali Lohan Is On Her Way
(Warning: clear your throat before you read the first part) 15-year-old Ali Lohan isn't enrolled in regular school, because she's a full-time student at UCWB (University of Crack Whore Behavior). UCWB's Dean of Famehowhoring, Professor Blohan, has taken little Ali under her raggedy wing to mentor her in what's really important in life: PARTYING.
Life & Style reports that since White Oprah is mostly passed out in the lap of some trucker she picked up the night before, Blohan has been taking care of her younger sister. The two have been doing regular sister bonding activities like smoking and boozing club until dawn.
I'm not being sarcastic, that really is a good way for sisters to bond. Hell, it's a good way for everyone to bond. Seriously, if your dog is giving you the silent treatment and throwing you shade, just take that bitch to the local club. By the end of the night, you'll be the second coming of Turner & Hooch!
One witness who was at L.A.'s Crown bar when Blohan and her apprentice were there said, “Lindsay didn’t coddle her or anything. They partied until after 1 a.m., and she treated Ali as if she were just one of her friends at the club with her." And another nosy bitch added, “Both of them were smoking like chimneys and dancing around.”
When Life & Style asked Michael Lohan about this, he didn't seem to be worried, “I’m glad Lindsay and Ali remain so close." Yes, Ali Lohan yacking up Alize in a urinal while Blohan kicks at her to hurry up really is a touching picture of sisterly love. Again, I'm not being sarcastic.
And before you start wondering how Ali is getting into these clubs, take a good look at her. Would you card a face like that? Exactly.
Here's the greatest older sister in the world (once again, not sarcasm) heading straight for the gutter in NYC last night.
Ali Lohan Is On Her Way | Dlisted
eat a hot bowl of dicks.
Really..... last week I went to dinner with some mom's in my playgroup - we are all mid-30's and we all get carded and this twat doesn't get carded. Yeah right, she's all of what... 17???
That family is all sorts of jacked up.
ok Ali is my daughters age, 15. Why isnt someone calling Child Protective Services on her? this is bullshit.
Well, the whore apples sure didn't fall far from the whore tree. Sylkyn
Lindsay is a lost cause. She needs to fall off the face of the earth...like now.
The brain doesn't need blood. It just needs to be kept wet.
My big daughter is 16. Loves to have fun, party etc. But c'mon!!! Ali looks older than Lindsay on this picture, well - she looks older than her mom on many pictures. BAD BAD thing
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.
Give a man religion, he'll die praying for a fish.
Seriously, if your dog is giving you the silent treatment and throwing you shade, just take that bitch to the local club. By the end of the night, you'll be the second coming of Turner & Hooch!
"hat since White Oprah is mostly passed out in the lap of some trucker she picked up the night before" haha
Countdown to Ali's rehab announcement...
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