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Reply With QuoteFirst thing I thought of too!1. Don't Wear Ed Hardy
Six things men can learn from Jon Gosselin
So funny!
Six Things Men Can Learn From Jon Gosselin - omg! news on Yahoo!
Six Things Men Can Learn From Jon GosselinAskMen.com - August 3, 2009 11:29 AM PDT
While most of us will never experience a high-profile breakup and the stress of constant paparazzi, we can agree Jon Gosselin has not been handling himself well. After some very shady activity behind Kate Gosselin's back, Jon is now a swinging bachelor and seems to forget his eight offspring. It's like watching an ongoing movie of the week -- and you know how those always end. Badly. However, if we look at his actions like an after-school special, men can learn some valuable lessons about how to act in life.
1. Don't Wear Ed Hardy
Here's the thing that intelligent people have known for a while: Ed Hardy is a clothing brand that is shallow, dumb, and sported by d-bags. Just because their T-shirts are $75 does not mean they're cool. Stop trying to look like you're popular and go back to shopping at Hot Topic or the Gap. In fact, Ed Hardy has become so synonymous with d-bags, we can officially retire it and just call people "Ed Hardies." They don't even have to be wearing the clothes, they just fit the profile. Thank you, Jon, for being such an "Ed Hardy" while wearing Ed Hardy so people will finally get it.
2. Stand Up For Yourself
After getting bullied around by his wife on the show, this ramshackle playboy act is how Gosselin is trying to prove to everyone that he's a man. We're not buying it. Maybe if he wrestled a timber wolf while punching Bear Grylls. If he would have just been a man and stood up for himself in the first place, he wouldn't feel this need to overcompensate.
3. Don't Publicize Your Crises
On top of his premature midlife crisis, Gosselin played out a bad rebound choice -- a 22-year-old party girl -- and a second bad rebound choice -- a gossip writer -- in the public eye. If you're dealing with some issues, the best thing is not to make a highly publicized move to New York. We understand the need to nail anything that moves after a marriage to dictator octo-mom, but do that under the radar. Vacation in Austin or Portland or, better yet, Paris. Their paparazzi don't care about our deadbeat reality stars. While the majority of us don't need to worry about the press, don't publicize your breakdowns on Facebook or in your blog.
4. Keep Your Story Straight
Gosselin has been jumping back and forth between 22-year-old Hailey Glassman and former Star magazine reporter Kate Major. Playing the field is one thing, but you need to be honest about it. Gosselin told Usmagazine.com, "My heart is always with Hailey." Then less than a week later, he said, "I care about Kate Major, she resigned from her job for me." He needs to work on a lower profile.
5. Don't Hang Out With Other "Ed Hardies"
Like it or not, we're judged by the company we keep. Not only that, but if you hang out with idiots, eventually they'll find a way to screw your life up -- even if it's not intentional. Gosselin decided to take Kate Major up to Michael Lohan's place in Southampton. The estranged father of Lindsay (she's proof of what happens when you're a deadbeat dad), Lohan spent two years in prison on drunk-driving and other charges. Recently, his fiancee claimed he threatened to kill her and himself if she left him. Mr. Smooth. He is not the guy you want to buddy up with. Plus, after the weekend, Lohan freely spoke to the press. Even though Gosselin just hired top-notch public relations firm Rubenstein Communications, Lindsay's dad said Jon isn't with either Kate or Hailey. What happened to bros before press?
6. Don't Forget That You Have Children
You have children and you're no longer with the mother. Don't punish the kids by avoiding the situation. Jon says the divorce is because he just wants to focus on the kids, but he's busy gallivanting around to the French Riviera and Southampton while Kate is taking their kids to the doctor. He doesn't even have a job or a place where all eight kids can sleep comfortably. He opted for an apartment in New York rather than a ranch house to keep his kid farm. He has forgotten that he has responsibilities to them in the present, and that his current choices will be an embarrassment to them in the future. One of his daughters will definitely be a stripper now. Good ol' daddy issues.
You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl
First thing I thought of too!1. Don't Wear Ed Hardy
"Creepy, like when Tom Cruise laughs." - Bloodhound Gang
"They can take our ignorance when they pry it from our cold dead minds." - Stephen Colbert
"They made the Internet so easy even a moron could use it. And so they did." - DeFex on Reddit
7. Don't be a retard.
8. Don't marry a fucking bitch.
9. If you marry the fucking bitch because you're a retard, DON'T POP OUT ANY KIDS.
I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.
That was some very good advice.
What, exactly, is Ed Hardy clothing? When I Google it, all I see are t-shirts that look like the side of a 1970's customized van.
yep, that's ed hardy clothing
They're both proud drunks, they're both proud sluts and they're both proud wearers of thirsty weaves. They both probably think that the other one is swallowing up the entire world's supply of vodka, peen and yellow weaves. Michael K (re Brandi & Chelsea)
┌П┐(•_•)┌П┐twitchy molests my signature!
I saw Ed Hardy spiral notebooks at Walmart the other day. Give me a break. Oh- I also saw Ed Hardy lighters at 7-11. What's next? Ed Hardy animal crackers and Ed Hardy energy drinks?
Jon is ruining the already bad design of Ed Hardy.
You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl
http://www.edhardybeverages.com/products/energydrink.htmlOriginally Posted by angelais
"Creepy, like when Tom Cruise laughs." - Bloodhound Gang
"They can take our ignorance when they pry it from our cold dead minds." - Stephen Colbert
"They made the Internet so easy even a moron could use it. And so they did." - DeFex on Reddit
Holy crap - and I was joking. Okay this shit needs to be pulled from the shelves. ALL ED HARDY ITEMS MUST BE DESTROYED!
ask and ye shall receive...
They're both proud drunks, they're both proud sluts and they're both proud wearers of thirsty weaves. They both probably think that the other one is swallowing up the entire world's supply of vodka, peen and yellow weaves. Michael K (re Brandi & Chelsea)
┌П┐(•_•)┌П┐twitchy molests my signature!
more proof that Twitchy is the anti-christ?
Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel
But wait....there's more!!!!!!!!!!!
EdHardySnacks.com - Coming Soon
Ed Hardy hookas, Smart Cars and diapers
Ed Hardy diaper bags
Ed Hardy Wines by Christian Audigier
editing to add:
Ed Hardy Candles
Also, Ed Hardy nicotine patches, floor mats, automotive air fresheners, cleaning products, disposable forks, shower curtains, first aid kits, hand sanitizers, kids toys, duvet covers, "decorative" cushions, wine glasses, towels, flashlights, coolers, folding chairs, helmets, snowboards, winter clothing, sippy cups, candy, ziplock baggies, seatcovers, JEEBUS!!!!!!!!
Last edited by twitchy2.0; August 4th, 2009 at 01:35 PM.
"Creepy, like when Tom Cruise laughs." - Bloodhound Gang
"They can take our ignorance when they pry it from our cold dead minds." - Stephen Colbert
"They made the Internet so easy even a moron could use it. And so they did." - DeFex on Reddit
re
I think Grimm needs to write an advice book.
No. 10, which should be No. 1: Wear a condom or get it snipped.
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