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Thread: Mark Wahlberg gets married

  1. #1
    Elite Member mrs.v's Avatar
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    Default Mark Wahlberg gets married

    Presenting Mr. And Mrs. Marky Mark




    Yesterday in Beverly Hills, Marky Mark married the mama je'e of his three chirruns, Rhea Durham, in a Catholic ceremony at the Good Shephard Church.
    Actually, since it was a Catholic ceremony they were probably named "husband & wife" only a few minutes ago. Catholic weddings go on for eoooooons. Every time I go to one, I'm told to bring a few granola bars for sustenance, a sleeping bag, a copy of War & Peace, a catheter and a shot of adrenaline to wake me up for the last couple of minutes.


    Marky and Rhea got married in front of about 20 guests.
    Rhea wore a nightgown by Marchesa and Marky wore a bitchface. Marky and Rhea's 5-year-old daughter Ella was the flower girl.
    Now, I know some of your asses might be wondering how they could get married in a Catholic church if they already have three kids, but that doesn't matter! The greatest Catholic wedding I ever went to was the one where the bride (I'm not naming names) wore white with a veil and was about 6-months knocked up. As she walked down the aisle of the Catholic church with the priest staring at her baby bulge, I nearly bit my tongue off to keep from laughing. It was amazing. I skipped the open beer bar at the reception, because I was already drunk from the irony of it all. Simply beautiful.


    Anyway, I hope Marky reunited with the Funky Bunch to perform at the reception. You know everyone who went was only there for the free booze, the cake and to see Marky bust his wedded ass to "Good Vibrations."



    Presenting Mr. And Mrs. Marky Mark | Dlisted
    eat a hot bowl of dicks.

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    Elite Member badgers!'s Avatar
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    Truly I say unto you : Michael K is a god amongst men!

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    hahaha, Marky Mark was wearing his bitch-face.

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    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    You can tell if Michael K. wrote something 3 sentences into it.

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    Silver Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurent View Post
    You can tell if Michael K. wrote something 3 sentences into it.
    True! DListed is always good for a laugh.

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    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    Rhea wore a nightgown by Marchesa and Marky wore a bitchface.

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    Elite Member ManxMouse's Avatar
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    Deals like this always seem to end in divorce within a couple of years.
    Santa is an elitist mother fucker -- giving expensive shit to rich kids and nothing to poor kids.

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    Elite Member celeb_2006's Avatar
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    Racist thug!

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    Elite Member Icepik's Avatar
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    Well, shows you what I know; I already thought they were married.

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    Elite Member heart_leigh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by celeb_2006 View Post
    Racist thug!
    Yeah, I nearly forgot about that.
    Rock the fuck on!

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    Elite Member lisalucy69's Avatar
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    For some reason i thought they were already married.

    Happy trails to you...until we meet again.
    I love & miss you Dad.

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    Silver Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Something looks off about his hair, does he have a toupee or hair club thing going on? His brothers who act are balding (Donnie Wahlberg and the other one who was in The Departed).

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    Elite Member bellini's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by celeb_2006 View Post
    Racist thug!
    Yeah I used to be meh on him then I read about his past. From Wikipedia:
    As a teenager, Wahlberg was implicated in several acts of violence and vandalism. At fifteen, he was amongst a group who threw rocks at a group of African American school children on a field trip while shouting racial epithets; the rocks hit their targets and caused several injuries. The following year, Wahlberg robbed a pharmacy while he was under the influence of PCP. During the commission of the crime, he again used racial epithets. He knocked one middle aged Vietnamese man unconscious and permanently blinded another in one eye before he was arrested by the police. Wahlberg was tried as an adult and charged for attempted murder. Pleading guilty to the lesser charge of assault, he was sentenced to two years in jail at Boston's Deer Island House of Correction, of which he served 45 days. In yet another incident, the 21-year-old Wahlberg fractured the jaw of a neighbor in an unprovoked attack.

  14. #14
    Elite Member Icepik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bellini View Post
    Yeah I used to be meh on him then I read about his past. From Wikipedia:
    What the hell??? I had no idea about his past!

    He should still be in prison for the crimes he committed, as far as I'm concerned!

  15. #15
    Elite Member celeb_2006's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bellini View Post
    Yeah I used to be meh on him then I read about his past. From Wikipedia:
    From the Smoking Gun website:



    The Smoking Gun: Archive

    People who have done far, far less bad things than him have been crucified here and elsewhere. Wat up with that?

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