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Thread: Jimmy Kimmel tells it like it is at the ABC upfronts

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    Elite Member KristiB's Avatar
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    Default Jimmy Kimmel tells it like it is at the ABC upfronts

    Holy hell! It's funny cause it's true!


    Jimmy Kimmel Demolishes ABC’s Upfronts - ArtsBeat Blog - NYTimes.com

    If Jimmy Kimmel still has a job at ABC on Wednesday, he is either a very lucky or very deft comedian, or he has great blackmail photos of the network executives.

    At Tuesday afternoon’s upfront presentation in New York, Mr. Kimmel, the host of ABC’s late night talk show “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” delivered a withering, blistering monologue that took direct aim at ABC, its potential advertisers and his NBC late-night rival, Jay Leno. The assembled advertisers received his performance with a mixture of uneasy laughs and the occasional gasp.

    Bouncing onto the stage at just after 4 p.m., Mr. Kimmel self-deprecatingly declared, “All of ABC’s late night comedy talent is assembled here on one stage.” After rattling off a few statistics about the affluence of his viewers, he then admitted that he’d made all the numbers up. (He said so in a more obscene way.)

    Then, in a “Jerry Maguire”-like moment of clarity, Mr. Kimmel said, “Everything you’re going to hear this week is” nonsense. “Let’s get real here. Let’s get Dr. Phil-real here. These new fall shows? We’re going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Maybe more.”

    If ABC is so confident in its new fall shows, he asked, why is it announcing them at the same time it announces the midseason shows that will replace those fall shows? “This show ‘Shark Tank’ has the word tank right in the title,” he said.

    To the ABC advertisers, Mr. Kimmel said, “Every year we lie to you and every year you come back for more. You don’t need an upfront. You need therapy. We completely lie to you, and then you pass those lies onto your clients.”

    Mr. Kimmel then took a verbal swing at his own network, reminding the audience that ABC had attempted to hire away Mr. Leno when his tenure ended at NBC’s “Tonight Show.” But, according Mr. Kimmel, NBC said it would not give up Mr. Leno, “even if we have to destroy our own network to keep him.”

    By devoting its entire 10 p.m. lineup, Monday through Friday, to Mr. Leno, Mr. Kimmel said NBC is “giving Jay’s viewers exactly what they want. An early-bird special.”

    By deciding on their fall schedule in April, Mr. Kimmel said, “NBC got such a head start, they’ve already had time to cancel half their schedule.”

    Mr. Kimmel also aimed a couple of zingers at Fox. That network’s action series “24,” he said, was “a head butt away from cancellation.” Next season, he said, Jack Bauer would have a new sidekick “played by Kiefer Sutherland’s probation officer.”

    Returning to ABC’s advertisers, Mr. Kimmel said, “Next year on ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ your product could kill Dr. Izzie. It just depends on how much you want to pay.”

    In closing, Mr. Kimmel said, “I think all our shows are going to work this year. I really do.” He paused. “I don’t, really.”

    Before departing the stage, he said: “The important thing to remember is: who cares, it’s not your money.”

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    Try being a fan of Friday Night Lights. The critics haled it as one of the best shows on TV. Then it was moved to just about every night in the week except Friday. Finally they put it on Friday and told the fans the show was cancelled. Fans threw a fit so they put it on channel 100 on Direct TV. Now that will help ratings Then it's on regular TV again without any notice that I could find.

    At least Discovery will zing a series out there without regards to big ratings and that at least allows a show to get a fan base.

    They need to give it up and face facts, the only shows with big ratings are the reality shows. Either because there aren't any good writers any more or because people are more interested in watching other people making idiots of themselves or they want to see Mr./Miss Nice/talented person win some big prize. At this point I watch more reality shows than non reality shows.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GaPeach View Post
    Try being a fan of Friday Night Lights. The critics haled it as one of the best shows on TV. Then it was moved to just about every night in the week except Friday. Finally they put it on Friday and told the fans the show was cancelled. Fans threw a fit so they put it on channel 100 on Direct TV. Now that will help ratings Then it's on regular TV again without any notice that I could find.

    At least Discovery will zing a series out there without regards to big ratings and that at least allows a show to get a fan base.

    They need to give it up and face facts, the only shows with big ratings are the reality shows. Either because there aren't any good writers any more or because people are more interested in watching other people making idiots of themselves or they want to see Mr./Miss Nice/talented person win some big prize. At this point I watch more reality shows than non reality shows.
    I love Friday Night Lights! And ITA- TV has gotten so, so bad. In class a few years ago, a professor showed an episode of Murphy Brown and everyone in class was like 'wow, I forgot how good this show was. How come we don't have things like this on TV anymore?'

    I also miss funny, lighthearted shows like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Family Matters, Saved By The Bell, etc. That type of show seems to have completely disappeared.

    Its also an issue of networks not giving the shows a chance to find an audience. Kings is a great example- it could have been a stellar, long-running show but they cancelled it after what- 5 episodes?

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    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cali View Post
    Its also an issue of networks not giving the shows a chance to find an audience. Kings is a great example- it could have been a stellar, long-running show but they cancelled it after what- 5 episodes?

    I agree 100%. They do not give shows a chance. Hell they were going to cancel 30 Rock after the first few episodes. If Lorne was not involved it would have been pulled.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

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    i think tv has gotten worse, and also better.
    i think most people's taste has gone to crap and that's why idiotic reality tv shows have an audience - they're cheap to make, easy to 'write' (if you can call that shit writing) because you don't even have to worry about a story.

    at the same time, ever since cable got involved in making tv shows, they've made shows where the writing and acting is fucking amazing, and shows that just wouldn't have existed before: 6 feet under, rome, the wire, weeds, arrested development, etc...


    the problem is the major networks. it seems that good shows just don't survive on the networks anymore, because they rely on their antiquated retarded nielsen system and don't realise that about half the audience for their better shows, watches the shows online.
    and that's why the better shows on tv like '30 rock', 'chuck', 'dollhouse', are always in danger. and why amazing shows like 'firefly' and 'freaks and geeks' didn't even get a chance.

    people suck. and networks only cater to the lowest common denominator and unfortunately the lowest common denominator seems to be the majority of people watching.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cali View Post
    I also miss funny, lighthearted shows like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Family Matters, Saved By The Bell, etc. That type of show seems to have completely disappeared.
    i don't. i think the sitcom is dying a slow death that can't get here soon enough. the genre is outdated and should be put out of its misery.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    I hardly watch network tv anymore. L & O: SVU, Medium, and now Southland. With the exception of Southland, new shows over the last several years haven't caught my interest so I don't even give them a chance.

    I miss shows like Northern Exposure and Gilmore Girls. Quirky little nightime soaps with plenty of interesting characters. The sitcoms these days are abysmal.

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    "I also miss funny, lighthearted shows like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Family Matters, Saved By The Bell, etc. That type of show seems to have completely disappeared."

    (I can't figure out how to pull just part of a quote - sorry)


    I agree, there's nothing like that anymore on network tv. You've got to search the cable channels to find things you can watch with your kids (wow - do I sound like my mom there or what?) I recently found a show called on Lifetime called Rita Rocks that was actually a pretty good, kid friendly sitcom. Problem - it was on at 1:00 a.m. I have no idea when/if it's on primetime. Guess I could go look, I've just been too lazy.

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    The major networks have lost their creativity, their patience, their threshold of quality and their originality. The last couple of TV seasons have been filled with 'Lost' ripoffs, uninspired sitcoms, duplicated crime dramas, remakes and atrocious reality shows. They really need to do something new and different and not try to hold on to the past. They have to face the fact that this is the new normal; ratings most likely aren't going to go back up, in fact they're going to get even lower like they have for the last 12 or so years. Pulling the trigger and cancelling creative shows isn't going to work anymore, holding on to the viewers they have left will though. But then again even when they do that, they do the wrong things entirely (Leno in primetime, Ugly Betty on Fridays, the continued existence of 'Til Death'). So in short, the networks are going to continue to fail upwards because that is all they know how to do.

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    Network TV is going downhill because they don't think outside the box anymore. They bow to the advertisers and just want to create the same crap that can appeal to a wide demographic or a certain demographic. Cable shows tend to be better, especially ones on HBO, Showtime, because they're willing to take chances. Not everything has to be a stupid family sitcom or a scripted reality show.

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    Network T.V. has always had it's share of crap T.V. along with good. You had "Dukes of Hazard" "Love Boat" "The Brady Bunch" "My mother the Car" The list goes on and on. People just forget there has always been crap.
    If I can't be a good example, then let me be a horrible warning.

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    I like the sit-coms. There are nights when I want to just sit and be entertained with little thought. I love Big Bang Theory, Two and half Men and Rule of Engagement. It's a nice wasy to unwind on a Monday night. Sasha - I also miss shows like Northern Exposure and Gilmore Girls. Loves both of them. I am over show the crime shows though.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    i guess i'd rather unwind with be entertained with little thought while watching stuff like 30 rock, weeds, arrested development, etc... i just can't stand laugh tracks anymore. they completely ruin a show. i think the last ones i really liked were 'seinfeld' and 'news radio'.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Quote Originally Posted by nana55 View Post
    Network T.V. has always had it's share of crap T.V. along with good. You had "Dukes of Hazard" "Love Boat" "The Brady Bunch" "My mother the Car" The list goes on and on. People just forget there has always been crap.
    True, there's always been crappy TV, but there was more of a balance between the crap and the good shows. Now, the crap has taken over.

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    It also looks like that network tv is dying as well- ratings have diminished in general during the past few years because of competition from cable/satalite and the internet/gaming. And I agree the Nielson system definitely needs rehauling- it doesnt take account into DVRs and online viewing plus dvd revenue is also a factor.
    I think reality tv will also become less popular - I think its already happening there is only so much you can do and tv genres is cyclical. I think in the midst of a recession people would want to escape and I think fantasy/speculative shows will become a popular genre.

    Look at NBC next season they are going to dedicate the entire evening 5 times a week plus repeats in the weekend towards talkshows-I can see this flopping especially since they have hardly any dramas in their schedules.

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    Elite Member Cali's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    i don't. i think the sitcom is dying a slow death that can't get here soon enough. the genre is outdated and should be put out of its misery.
    See I totally disagree. As an adult I don't particularly like sitcoms anymore, but as a kid I loved them. They were lighthearted entertainment and its sad that the genre doesn't seem to be there for kids now.

    Murphy Brown was awesome because it was slightly witty/intellectual but still completely entertaining.

    If you're not into cop shows, reality TV, or teenage soaps, there's not a lot on TV for you these days.

    Quote Originally Posted by FlyByKnightRider View Post
    The major networks have lost their creativity, their patience, their threshold of quality and their originality. The last couple of TV seasons have been filled with 'Lost' ripoffs, uninspired sitcoms, duplicated crime dramas, remakes and atrocious reality shows. They really need to do something new and different and not try to hold on to the past. They have to face the fact that this is the new normal; ratings most likely aren't going to go back up, in fact they're going to get even lower like they have for the last 12 or so years. Pulling the trigger and cancelling creative shows isn't going to work anymore, holding on to the viewers they have left will though.
    Agree 100%. I'm also annoyed that the networks- particularly NBC- are cheaping out and giving reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice and Biggest Loser 2-hour timeblocks. Same thing with Leno. We get it that those shows are cheaper to make but they aren't even trying to put entertaining stuff on TV with moves like that.

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