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Thread: Julia Roberts: Pretty woman but giant potty mouth

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    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Default Julia Roberts: Pretty woman but giant potty mouth




    There's always got to be a drunk ass foul-mouthed bitch at every party and at last night's tribute to Tom Hanks by the Film Society of Lincoln Center, Julia Roberts was that ho. Everyone embrace a fellow drunktardian into our club.
    When it was Julia's turn to speak about Tom, she loaded her cannon with fuck bombs and aimed it at the audience. Julia's speech sounds like gorgeous music to my ears: (read it in a slurry, burpy voice) "Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee. So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita, and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck?"
    Julia the went on to talk about Tom's illustrous film career, "I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom [in 2004's Ladykillers], I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about! "You in the airport with the accent (she's talking about Terminal)? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist! Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you."
    Before falling off the edge of the stage in a drunken stupor, Julia told the audience, "It's so dark out there, I feel like I’m in space. Thank you, whoever just made it light. J.J. Abrams, are you here?"
    Julia Roberts is awesome for that. When did Julia Roberts become my auntie giving an impromptu speech about how much she loves her pet ferrett at Thanksgiving dinner after downing a whole box of Franzia? I don't know if that made any sense, because I think I got contact drunk after reading Julia's rant.
    You know that after she got home, she crawled into bed with her kids and practically suffocated them with her hot booze bref kisses! She slobbered on them and said, "I luuuuvz youuuz sooo soo mu-uuuch." I used to love when my mom did that.
    Seriously, Julia needs to do shit like this more often!

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    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    God, I'd be so embarrassed I can't imagine. As an experienced drunk, I know the rules to not making an ass of myself: keep my mouth shut in front of a microphone and absolutely steer clear of making speeches when sauced.

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    Elite Member tkdgirl's Avatar
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    Julia Roberts: ugly whore but horse face too.

    A government big enough to give you everything you want,
    is strong enough to take everything you have. ~Thomas Jefferson

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    Elite Member bellini's Avatar
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    Loathsome.

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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    This would have been priceless on film.
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    ^^ it is on film they showed it on the tube tonight.

    Who the heck still calls her a "pretty woman" and was she ever a pretty woman? I can not stand Julia Roberts.

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    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
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    Foul

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    Quote Originally Posted by DitaPage* View Post
    Foul
    with her chicken neck and legs, it's definately "fowl"

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Excellent! The best part of this is that she does not give a shit and for that, I like her.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
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    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12u21bpW1bU[/YOUTUBE]

    Did anyone actually see Charlie Wilson's War?

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    Elite Member potato_chips's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tkdgirl View Post
    Julia Roberts: ugly whore but horse face too.
    I agree.
    "The most important question in all of human kind is..... would you hit it or not?" ~potato_chips

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    Elite Member Soth's Avatar
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    Jezus......It was a roast.

    Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and the occasion seemed to call for some "Fuck Bombs"

    That was the best thing Julia has done since Erin Brockavitch
    I'm using a lot of oxygen and such I think it's good use of oxygen myself, but of course, I'm a little prejudiced on the matter.

  13. #13
    Elite Member llamamama's Avatar
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    I don't think she was that drunk, I think she was trying to be edgy.

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    Elite Member bellini's Avatar
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    Trying too hard. Very un-funny. Still hate her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GaPeach View Post
    ^^ it is on film they showed it on the tube tonight.

    Who the heck still calls her a "pretty woman" and was she ever a pretty woman? I can not stand Julia Roberts.
    Only if pretty women look like a cross between a fish and a shetland pony.

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