Everyone else I know is getting a bigger house...pity party

[Grimmlok]

Originally Posted by Anne2007

Sorry Grimmlok, I won't expect any empathy as we are lucky to own our small piece of real estate. Thank you for bringing me down to Earth.

Oh you're quite welcome

I hope you are renting in a terrific part of Canada and that is why you are paying heaps in rent.

No, I'm renting in Toronto which is expensive for no good reason.

In Sydney rents are going through the roof. A friend of mine started renting a 2 bedroom apartment in my area 2 years ago at $250 per week. The rent in the last year has gone up to $350.00. 1 year ago you were lucky to get $200 a week in rent for a place in my building, This year they are asking $270 and getting it.

Sounds about right, depending on how much space you get.

We actually lucked out at 1375$ a month, without utilities, net, cable, or anything else.

We have the first floor and basement of a house.. 2 bedroom, 1 bath but it has a backyard that we share and a deck.. central air, central vac, and a garage for storage.

my roomate and i apparently got the place because, according to our landlord, we looked like we wouldn't trash the place. Far from it, we repainted it, installed new light fixtures, and decorated it fabulously

[KrisNine]

Housing prices here are just this side of insane. Now, with the housing market declining, rentals are through the roof. I live in a beach community in south Orange County and it's not really that convenient to anything. A small one bedroom here starts at $1500 and that is tiny, no washer/dryer and no air conditioning. Even if you go inland from the beach, the rent for a one bedroom is at least $1500 but you have more space, parking and washer/dryers. We rent a small house that is insane and are moving inland 1 mile inland to a bigger house for the same money. Houses average about $3000.

[pacific breeze]

^^Same as here, then. And most landlords don't do any maintenace at all, not even basic stuff. They know they can rent it anyway, even if it's falling apart.

[KrisNine]

Originally Posted by pacific breeze

^^Same as here, then. And most landlords don't do any maintenace at all, not even basic stuff. They know they can rent it anyway, even if it's falling apart.

We have a mix here. There are several large apartment companies that own several properties. 60 or 70 communities with 300 plus units per community. A lot of people prefer to go that way because they have 24 hr maintenance on staff, cheaper rents, pools, parks, etc. I like the private owner we rent from because they are much more easy going and they let us have pets and we have a yard. There are a lot of rental homes on the market right now because people are on the verge of losing their homes because they can't sell them.

[LynnieD]

Hotmom--I am in the EXACT same position. 2 kids, hubby works and makes good money, I stay home, have an average 2000sf house that we built 7 yrs ago. I cannot even tell you how many families that were building in our neighborhood at the same time, same kind of houses, have moved on to bigger homes. And some, to HUGE homes. And again, they have a few kids, mom stays home, dad works, etc. I continually ask myself how they can afford such a huge home???? I finally worked the nerve up to ask one former neighbor---and she said that they have an 'interest only' loan. Otherwise, they WOULDN'T be living there. And I am now suspecting that they are sorry they got that loan since the rates are outta control...

Anyway, the hubby and I have discussed moving to a bigger, better home several times. And we decided that its just not necessary right now, and that we didn't want to be 'house poor'. We could move to those 400k homes too, but we'd never be able to leave it since we wouldn't be able to afford gas. Our average home is going to be paid off in 7 yrs, and we have decided to just stick it out...and be happy that we have even our average house.

[McJag]

Please! There is more to life than a big house! I think you owe your friend your sympathy! She may be stressed out by debt-or maybe they had some family money. Still, be her friend & take a cake over to see! And remember-it's not the HOUSE it's the HOME you make in it. Your children won't remember the size, but the laughter and love inside. Furthermore, be proud of what you have! When I think of the meals my Aunt has cooked in a 6x8 ft kitchen, I can't believe it-but she does, with no dishwasher. We have the best time & no one thinks anything of it. You are being sensible for your income, stay that way. You are the one to be commended! No pity for you-you are doing just fine, Missy!

[pacific breeze]

^^What she said. My grandmother's house was small and shabby and inconvenient even by my modest standards, but I'd give anything to be there with my cousins and her again eating all those home-baked goodies. My cleaners tell me that most of their clients in those huge houses with the $100,000 kitchens don't even use them.

[VenusInFauxFurs]

I have friends who existed purely on their credit cards, because a massive chunk of their income went on the bigger mortgage that goes along with the bigger house. Sure, they had the impressive looking house, but their debt was ridiculous. That's not enviable.

[effie2]

We built a very big house,the first one we owed,made big plans about using it,17 years down the line ,my son is gone ,my eldest daughter spends half her nights at her bf,s and the youngest treats the house like a hotel.Most of the time i use my mobile to talk to them.instead of going upstairs or downstairs to their bedrooms.
The living in woman cant manage the house work,even with me cooking and helping.The bills are huge.
We never borrow to build it,it is not so common here.
But we are sure it was a mistake,kids have their birthday parties out,so my ex and me hang out in the kitchen_living room and the rest of the house empty..nice...

[Mel1973]

oh, the humanity - how do you guys manage? *sarcashm*

[Mira]

Originally Posted by pacific breeze

My cleaners tell me that most of their clients in those huge houses with the $100,000 kitchens don't even use them.

A lot of them do that so the house will retain its value, or so that the value will go up.

[hotncmom]

Originally Posted by McJag

Please! There is more to life than a big house! I think you owe your friend your sympathy! She may be stressed out by debt-or maybe they had some family money. Still, be her friend & take a cake over to see! And remember-it's not the HOUSE it's the HOME you make in it. Your children won't remember the size, but the laughter and love inside. Furthermore, be proud of what you have! When I think of the meals my Aunt has cooked in a 6x8 ft kitchen, I can't believe it-but she does, with no dishwasher. We have the best time & no one thinks anything of it. You are being sensible for your income, stay that way. You are the one to be commended! No pity for you-you are doing just fine, Missy!

Well, she's not really a friend...just a woman that I know that I alternately hate and am insanely jealous of just because (on the outside) she's so friggin' perfect. At her old house she had the perfect little Pottery Barn kids playroom for the children. Her entire house was immaculate. She has the perfect body and the cutest clothes and the cutest little short blond hair. She's the kind of woman that has that perpetual bitchy superior smirk on her face. I only went to her old house once for a meeting of a group we were both involved in. She's also the perfect mother. Takes her 3 kids to the park every day. That perfect playroom? An addition to her last house. I would kill for a first floor playroom myself, but it's just not good enough for miss priss. She had to move to a bigger, better house.

Yes, I am seething in jealously today since I heard where she moved to. I know we're doing OK with our current house. We will have it paid off by the time my son is in high school if we stay here. Our new porch we just built is really nice. We are looking into redoing the master bath. We are very fortunate, I know.

Like I said, it just makes me feel as if we're missing out on some big financial secret a lot of other people know. Based on what I know about this family, the dad is a banker and they are very, very financially responsible. If that's true I can't imagine them going into that much debt, because someone in banking of all people would know the dangers.

I know another woman in a similar situation...husband a banker, she's a stay at home mom, and their only child is in private school and they have a very, very nice house. Said house is also fully decorated very, very nicely. And again I wonder what are we doing wrong?

[greysfang]

Originally Posted by hotncmom

And again I wonder what are we doing wrong?

Using your money wisely instead of spending it on flash to make your easily rattled neighbor jealous?

[Mira]

You could start being a high-class call-girl.... I know women who are doing it. Some of them are working on their bachelor's and/or master's degrees (that's in S.F., not here.)

[DeadDwarf]

Hey, don't feel so bad! My husband and I have a 1,700 square foot home with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. It's big enough for a few kids and our small dog. Sure, it would be nice to have a bigger house and have all this fancy crap, but is it worth being house poor and possibly screwing yourself financially? Hell no!

I know exactly how you feel though, our house is nothing fancy, but it works for us. Our friends had a nice house, but the wife wanted a bigger home and so they purchased a new house in our city. We live in southern California (5 miles from the beach) and the average price of a home in our city is over $600,000 easily! Everytime we go to their house and go back to ours we feel so crappy about not having a brand new house with 3,500 square feet. It really made us ungrateful for owning a home!

Then I found out that our friends, who have two children, live paycheck to paycheck and have not only a huge mortgage ($3,000/month not including property taxes), but also have 2 different equity home loans and two vehicle loans!!!

I don't feel so bad now about staying in my home! My husband and I will have our home mortgage paid off in July of this year, we have a 2004 car that is paid off already, we have 2005 quad cab truck that we will have paid off in July too. We have no equity loans, no student loans, no credit card debt, nothing! In July we will have $0 debt (no mortgage, no car loan).

Our friends found out our financial situation and said they were jealous of us and how they will be in debt until they retire, possibly even longer. My husband and I can afford to have me to stay at home with our daughter because we remain in the same home and no matter what no one can take our house away (as long as we pay our taxes ).

The point here is not for me to brag, but I wanted to let you know that bigger isn't always better and you need to live within your means and be happy with what you have. People have million dollar homes and still aren't happy with their home, life, job, etc.

Maybe update some things, paint the house, add a new patio or get new windows. Things like that can make a big difference. We plan to update some things in our house and fix up our yard to give it a "newer home" feel, but we are trying to be grateful that we own a home when so many people in our city are stuck in small apartments paying $1500/month.

Also stop comparing your house to everyone else's! Someone will always have a bigger home than you so why make yourself feel bad about the lovely home you have? If you move one day then that's great, but I am sure your kids love your home no matter how "small" it is!