Everyone else I know is getting a bigger house...pity party

hotncmom · May 17th, 2007, 08:02 AM

OK, I just want to rant this morning because I found out that yet another family that I know is moving up to a really nice large house. They moved from their 2500 sf house (which was already nicer than ours) to a 3600 sf house on 1/2 an acre in a neighborhood where the houses cost $600-800K (median home price in my area is around 225-250K). These are people in the exact same situation as us, the wife stays home with the kids (well, they have 3 and we have 2), and the husband works. I see this happening more and more, these people (some of them younger than me!) in their mid-30's moving into luxury homes. Meanwhile, I'm 37 and we have lived in the same 2100 sf house on 1/5 acre for 10 years!

My husband makes good money (we're into 6 figure salary range now)...why do I feel like we still can't afford to move while other families in similar circumstances are buying houses that cost 2-3 times as much as ours? Waaahhhhhh! I want a big new house too!!!!!

I've always felt like we do the right things financially...we contribute to retirement accounts as much as we can, we donate generously to worthy causes, we only have one car payment at a time (not a luxury vehicle), we don't take luxurious vacations...but to buy a big house like that we'd have to triple our house payment and that would mean half of DH's take home pay would go to the mortgage. How do other people do this? What the hell are we doing wrong?

ETA: I just googled this family and the dad is only 31 years old! And a 650K house! I feel like shit!

darksithbunny · May 17th, 2007, 08:08 AM

I will party with ya, hotncmom. We are priced right outta the housing market. We are cramped here but just can't afford to move. I don't know how many times the bank has tried to offer us the loans where you pay on the interest alone but hell to the no on that one! I see all those people who did that about 5 years ago and all their homes are now in foreclosure! So maybe just count your blessings that you have a home? I do. After seeing all the homeless families living in their cars at the local Walmart, I feel blessed just to have a roof over my head that doesn't have wheels. But I do still know how you are feeling.

hotncmom · May 17th, 2007, 08:25 AM

Thanks for that perspective...I truly am grateful for the home we do have, and I know that even if DH loses his job we can manage just fine...and that is a lot of peace of mind, believe me.

We're currently redecorating/remodeling a bit to try and make this house seem newer to us. But there are several things that I would love to have in a house that we won't be able to do unless we move. Since our lot is small, we can't really add on (but we did just build a screened porch). We are trying to make the most of what we have, but I can't help but be envious sometimes of people who have so much more space than we do.

And it's not even like these people are buying these big houses and then struggling to furnish them...which would make me feel better LOL. No, they have nice furniture and window treatments in every room...it looks like a professional interior designer was in there. We've lived here 10 years and we have just now gotten window treatments for almost every room and we lived with hand-me-down furniture in the living room for 10 years and just bought new stuff.

It just makes me feel like we are doing something wrong because we can't afford the same lifestyle.

Grimmlok · May 17th, 2007, 08:28 AM

*tries to feel even the slightest bit of empathy from his tiny bedroom located in his overpriced, rented apartment*

If you want to make your house look good, get some gay friends.

Anne2007 · May 17th, 2007, 08:28 AM

If it helps, in Australia there is a concept that people can borrow more than 100% of the housing price. (We have a tax you must pay which is a percentage of the housing price)

I suspect that they are over extending themselves and borrowing close to the max the bank's will lend. Come a couple of interest rate rises and they could have problems. OTH if the husband is 31 they do have a bit of time to pay the loan.

But more and more people are doing the interest only loan, which will get some of them into deep trouble.

The pair of you are so snesible it arms my heart.

You are so right darksithbunny we are all lucky to have a roof over our head. Our local mission that feeds the homeless does 55,000 meals a year.

One of my biggest philosophies in life, is start small in the housing market and pay it off as quick as you can. That way of the worst happens, like ill health or job loss no one can ever take your home away from you.

I think hotcnmom you are wise not to extend yourself, after all the second ruchest man in the world Warren Buffet still lives in his Omaha home that I think he bough in the 50's or 60's.

My husband, daughter and I are in a 2 bedrrom apartment that we paid off in 2001. Ever since then we have been saving so we can afford a house in our area.

I am trying to work it that we have a very minimal mortgage of $50,00 to $100,000. That way we can pay it off quickly and then work towards having a luxurious retirement.

I truly commend you on your commonsense. It is much better to be in a smaller place and be able to pay for it comfortably.

In the Western suburbs of Sydney the number of houses being repossessed by the banks just keeps increasing. The sad thing is they then go up for auction where they possibly aren't getting thier full value.

We are looking to move, but not until we find something good. After all we will be in it until we retire.

There was an investment guru that said the quickest way to become poor is to continually buy and sell houses. Becasue in our country you pay a tax when you buy.

Anne2007 · May 17th, 2007, 08:34 AM

Sorry Grimmlok, I won't expect any empathy as we are lucky to own our small piece of real estate. Thank you for bringing me down to Earth.

I hope you are renting in a terrific part of Canada and that is why you are paying heaps in rent.

In Sydney rents are going through the roof. A friend of mine started renting a 2 bedroom apartment in my area 2 years ago at $250 per week. The rent in the last year has gone up to $350.00. 1 year ago you were lucky to get $200 a week in rent for a place in my building, This year they are asking $270 and getting it.

Algernon · May 17th, 2007, 09:07 AM

What bugs me about people we know getting 'bigger and better places' is my husband getting envious. I never want to move. We have a 1400 sf ranch house with a small but decent yard. Just big enough not to feel cramped, but small enough to keep clean. But my husband has made it clear he wants to move within the next 5 or 10 years. He wants more land, a pond, a basement...blah blah blah. I am soooooooo not wanting to get a bigger mortgage when I love the house I have!!! Ugh, I see some compromising in the future...

pacific breeze · May 17th, 2007, 09:45 AM

I still think your rents/house prices are ALL ridiculously cheap compared to Vancouver. Monthly rents for a one-bedroom apt. that isn't in a basement start at around $900 and go up to $1500 or more. Two bedroms are higher...renting a house in a decent area is $2500 plus and often, that is only the top floor of a house. Buying a house is...well let's just say if you are not a millionaire or haven't been in the market for 20 years or more, it's out of the question. Tear-downs all around us routinely sell for $1.5 million. We are renting because of my husband's financial situation re divorce, and we will probably never be able to buy unless we win the lottery. We don't play so...I don't think bigger is always better. Who wants to clean/heat/pay for all that space? Plus, it's environmentally unsound.

I've never been one of those people who believed in going into massive debt to have a bunch of expensive material things. A lot of people here have the big houses, cars, designer furniture etc., and they are also so far in debt that if even ONE thing goes wrong, the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. A friend of mine is a divorce lawyer in this fairly affluent area and she has lots of stories about how it all exists on paper -- bankruptcy is common. People can be left with nothing, or massive debt.

A friend of mine had to have everything -- she divorced, declared bankruptcy and now lives in a tiny, crappy studio apartment in a swank neighbourhood downtown for which she pays $1,350 a month. She has an OK job, but she sure wishes she had lived within her means. She can't fit her designer furniture into her new place, she can't afford to park her BMW, etc. etc. And yeah, her credit rating sucks.

Mel1973 · May 17th, 2007, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grimmlok

*tries to feel even the slightest bit of empathy from his tiny bedroom located in his overpriced, rented apartment*

If you want to make your house look good, get some gay friends.

I bet he failed miserably ... just like me!

missbazilb · May 17th, 2007, 11:07 AM

No kidding, PB! I can't imagine being able to buy a house for $250,000! That's how much I paid for my craptastic 1 bd condo! We've been looking for a place that's a little bigger (1200 sq.ft. condo), but we were trying to stay around $500,000 and we've given up for now.

And let me be the first to say that salaries are NOT in line with housing prices here!

I think a lot of people must have quite the house of (credit) cards built to try to live the lifestyle they do. Maybe they're counting on big inheritances or something. One false move, though, and it's all out the window.

pacific breeze · May 17th, 2007, 11:22 AM

^^They're all around me here in West Van. There are some genuinely rich people -- most of whom made their money in countries where there is no personal income tax and slave labour is all but legal -- but most are wannabes. A cop friend of mine told me that lots of the houses don't even have furniture in them, even with three luxury cars parked out front. It's all for show and status. Twisted.

shedevilang · May 17th, 2007, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mel1973

I bet he failed miserably ... just like me!

I'm sure he did I want him to come decorate my house though lol and cook me dinner

greysfang · May 17th, 2007, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotncmom

OK, I just want to rant this morning because I found out that yet another family that I know is moving up to a really nice large house. They moved from their 2500 sf house (which was already nicer than ours) to a 3600 sf house on 1/2 an acre in a neighborhood where the houses cost $600-800K (median home price in my area is around 225-250K). These are people in the exact same situation as us, the wife stays home with the kids (well, they have 3 and we have 2), and the husband works. I see this happening more and more, these people (some of them younger than me!) in their mid-30's moving into luxury homes. Meanwhile, I'm 37 and we have lived in the same 2100 sf house on 1/5 acre for 10 years!

My husband makes good money (we're into 6 figure salary range now)...why do I feel like we still can't afford to move while other families in similar circumstances are buying houses that cost 2-3 times as much as ours? Waaahhhhhh! I want a big new house too!!!!!

I've always felt like we do the right things financially...we contribute to retirement accounts as much as we can, we donate generously to worthy causes, we only have one car payment at a time (not a luxury vehicle), we don't take luxurious vacations...but to buy a big house like that we'd have to triple our house payment and that would mean half of DH's take home pay would go to the mortgage. How do other people do this? What the hell are we doing wrong?

ETA: I just googled this family and the dad is only 31 years old! And a 650K house! I feel like shit!

These people are almost surely in debt way past their eyeballs. This is why America is a debtor nation, becuse everyone feels like they should have more and the banking system allows for this, knowing they will get filthy freakin' rich off the interest.

pacific breeze · May 17th, 2007, 01:06 PM

As the old saying goes, don't judge your insides by somebody else's outsides. Appearances can be deceiving.

hotncmom · May 17th, 2007, 01:08 PM

^^You know, greysfang, I don't think they are...the husband is some banking guy and when I used to be in a group with the wife she made out like they were very, very financially responsible. My SIL works for a bank though, and I don't think there are banking jobs that pay enough for someone to afford a 600K mortgage.