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Thread: Mallorcan Villa

  1. #1
    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Default Mallorcan Villa

    In Santa Ponsa! I understand that Michael Douglas has a place in Mallorca. As does the Spanish Royal Family. Nothing innovative here, but I love the exterior. Kill the purple inside, though.








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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    The estate is nothing special. I hate Mallorca. As in HATE. I literally cry when I have to go, kick and scream. It's my own personal nightmare.
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    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Why do you hate Mallorca so much, Chilly? It's not just for tourists.

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    That's easy too explain, way too many Germans. Those who settle down there are the worst - the get-off-my-lawn-type. I had to go filming all over the island and they are everywhere, even in the non-touristy areas. They act like they own the place, Mallorca attracts the worst of the worst - from the chavs partying in El Arenal to the 50 + demographic who lives on the Northern villages. I'm just not a fan of colonization. What's up with the way they divide everything into Brits-only and Germans-only areas? Cray.

    Plus, I don't like the repetitive architecture and landscape. But then again, I'm not a fan of the Mediterranean in general for that very reason. Too dry, boring flora and fauna, rocky shores, crowded beaches. And I have developed my own personal Spain diet over the years: I can't eat jackshit, because everything tastes nasty, which gets old really fast. And the sea is boring, too - I simply prefer oceans. Rant over, lol.
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    I like the kitchen and the bathroom, that's about it.

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    I hate all of it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chilly Willy View Post

    Plus, I don't like the repetitive architecture and landscape. But then again, I'm not a fan of the Mediterranean in general for that very reason. Too dry, boring flora and fauna, rocky shores, crowded beaches. And I have developed my own personal Spain diet over the years: I can't eat jackshit, because everything tastes nasty, which gets old really fast. And the sea is boring, too - I simply prefer oceans. Rant over, lol.
    I'm SOOOO with you!

    What is with Spanish food???? Everyone (ahem, Goop) raves about it but it makes me vaguely ill (unless it's home cooking by husband's family members.) Tapas suck in just about every bar I've ever been to, oily fish, oily potatoes, oily salads, salty ham bits, way too salty olives, salty eggs.

    I do love real Spanish gazpacho.

    Spain hates nature. All their big natural national parks are closed to all visitors (because they would be destroyed.) There is no wildlife on the beaches, not even any unusual plants. Except for around Tarifa and Bologna, where you can see Morocco and ancient ruins, Spanish beaches are places for people to lay side by side and fry...that's it.

    I like my USA beaches, the hidden ones, that take extra time to get to, which have all sorts of environmental restrictions so you might see gator tracks in the roads or hear manatees feeding at night.
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    The villa is way too tacky Dynasty to be taken seriously. The German/British colonisation of large chunks of the Med is very depressing. They are probably the rudest, most arrogant people on earth and I'm sure the locals despise them (and spit in their tapas, hence the nasty taste). Many years ago it was possible to find little places untainted by Tourism but alas no more. The chavvy oiks are now taking over Dubai. Loadsa money and really farking 'ot for the suntan innit.

    And another thing about Spanish "cuisine". Why do they eat dinner at midnight? It can't be good for the digestion.
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    You guys are no fun. I hate all of you .

    As for Spanish food, I've never tried it (only Latin American, not Euro Spanish), but I was told that they had the best ham in the world? Anthony Bourdain swears that their food is amazing...but then, he eats warthog rectums...
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    A*O
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    Proper Spanish jamon is delicious - the pigs are fed on acorns apparently which gives the ham a distinctive taste - but I'm just as happy with good Italian prosciutto.
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    I always expected Mallorca to be more sophisticated that you guys describe it. How disappointing. .
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    The lovely outside of this belies an ordinary, boring interior. I could just sit by the pool for a while though.
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    ^^^With bottles of cava and a good raclette!!! We could pitch tents on the lawn and never go inside except to shower and pee!
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    Nah - pee in the pool. It's what the local expat riff raff do.
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    I don't mind the living room furniture so much, though I prefer darker furniture. But the kitchen and the bedspreads in the bedroom - no.
    Good luck getting a cat to do anything let alone join in on your sexcapades. - Air Quotes

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