Pregnancy/babies/miscarriages/you name it

[Dean James]

So all my friends are popping out babies like it's their job, five couples in the same year- what is like your late twenties and early thirties when you're most fertile or something? Me and the mister are thinking about it but I'm gunshy. I got pregnant on our honeymoon but lost it almost immediately. Ever since I'm scared to attempt.

How do you know when you're in the early stages of pregnancy? Because I didn't know and I wonder if it's somehow my fault. My doctor's said it's not particularly anyone's fault, these things happen. Did I drink too much coffee? Ate some mysterious root that neglected to make my fetus into an Opera-Savant with a fucked up face and flushed it out instead? I guess I'll never know.

Is pregnancy terribly awful? Are you hot and cold, cranky? Everyone's starting to ask when it's our turn and I just deflect, I don't know.

How was your experience?

[panda]

As a nurse, I witnessed childbirth and decided it wasn't for me!

[xoxo]

i can't answer anything abt. pregnancy as i have never been pregnant but i think a lot of other people can help you with that..as far as miscarriages go, many women i know have had them for all sorts of reasons. i don't think you should blame yourself at all..

[Mira]

Your experience, should you choose to accept it, will be the most terrible and wonderful experience you'll ever have! (mine was.)

Very challenging, but very worth it. Thank gd most women end up thinking so.

[MgMMD]

I had a miscarriage in February it was wayyy worse than I could've imagined. I bled through my pants and passed out on all the buttons of the elevator. SO at least it was a tad but funny.

Pregnancy is what it is. Some people float through it, some people puke for 6 months, some people love it, some people consider doing home c-section with a spoon ( ahem). However people love to tell you how hellacious it is, as having the worst pregnancy every makes you a goddess.

If people could control miscarriages we wouldn't need birth control. I have no clue why I miscarried as it was so early.
My great grandmother was a midwife so I am just a heck of a lot more zen about certain things than others.
However, you should know many, many, many women miscarry and some of them don't even know it. You are not alone and you are not alone in being scared.

[Mariesoleil]

Actuallty alot of women miscarry their first child. My doctor told me that when i miscarried my first and said it shouldn't have any impact on other pregnancies.

I now have a 6 month old baby My pregnancy was great actually until the 8th month. I was a bit tired at the beginning (okay very tired lol) but I had no morning sickness, no mood swings (actually oddly enough I was more stable than ever). After the 8th month I was just tired of being pregnant, I had major heartburn and slept with a bottle of Maalox on my night table and I'd wake up during the night to chug some down lol. And I was sick of having to drag my fat ass up 3 flights of stairs to get to my appartment. But nothing abnormal there when you're carrying a 9 pound baby.

Now the birth was another story...

[Biatch]

Originally Posted by Dean James

So all my friends are popping out babies like it's their job, five couples in the same year- what is like your late twenties and early thirties when you're most fertile or something? Me and the mister are thinking about it but I'm gunshy. I got pregnant on our honeymoon but lost it almost immediately. Ever since I'm scared to attempt.

How do you know when you're in the early stages of pregnancy? Because I didn't know and I wonder if it's somehow my fault. My doctor's said it's not particularly anyone's fault, these things happen. Did I drink too much coffee? Ate some mysterious root that neglected to make my fetus into an Opera-Savant with a fucked up face and flushed it out instead? I guess I'll never know.

Is pregnancy terribly awful? Are you hot and cold, cranky? Everyone's starting to ask when it's our turn and I just deflect, I don't know.

How was your experience?

Women tend to have children in late twenties early thirties due to two factors:career ( as it might hinder /or not the prospects) and age.Career, because nowadays many women have their own careers and don't want to give it up or be met with cold shoulder after giving birth, or to have to rush into work (missing on the baby early stages) because of fear of losing the place.But you can make both work.I didn't.I gave up my career to have 2 years(3) with my son.But other colleagues went back.It's a matter of personal choice.Age,because of hormonal and physical changes that occur in any living organ.It is proven that , after 36-37, pregnancies have a higher risk for miscarriages/different diseases/abnormalities.Especially when the mother is a smoker/drinker/drug abuser.But again, with proper testing, treatment and a good sperm, a woman can get pregnant and have healthy babies even at 44 to 50 (depends on menopause,too).

And a 3rd factor is a stable relationship.While in your teens/twenties you might have had a bad relationship, or weren't sure about bringing a child in the world toghether, by the late twenties -thirties-mid thirties most women have got a stable partner or arrived to the conclusion that they want a child toghether.Sometimes the women don't even get a partner-they feel strong enough financially and mentally to have a child to love and care for, without the complication of a relationship.It's not unheard of and not only celebs do it- I know many women that preferred it.

So that's why you see many people in that age band having children:because they have careers, have a stable relationship/are independent financially and don't want to risk the "over 37" limit.

About how you feel-everyone experiences it differently.I was never sick - thank Goodness!!but I was very tired from 8th month, I am very tired on my second from the 6th month- so I was given iron.

About miscarriages(sorry about who had miscarriages,I had 3,too) - everyone has them and some don't even know about them.They are very common sometimes- depends on soo many factors.

About having children-there is a saying that goes"Who has them keeps them who doesn't have them doesn't needs them".
And I didn't have for 32 years because I felt I wasn't ready and then had 1 - no.2 on the way- because I felt at the right time and place in my relationship.
But on the same note, some people don't want to have them and that's absolutely ok,too-my brother has been married for 14 years, they don't have kids and they are totally fine.
Again , personal choice- if you feel like having a baby and are confident you could handle it (trust me, there isn't a "How to be best parent" book!) then have a baby.If you don't feel like having one-don't .It is hard and could put strains on working couples (not only) or could drive you up the wall.
It's a total personal and very hard choice to make.But give it thought and, whichever path you take, don't have any regrets later...just do it the way you see it best suited for you & the ones you love.

[cloud]

I've had two babies and one miscarriage. The full-term pregnancies were easy, really. Sure I was swollen and tired, a little morning sickness - but truly I felt great with both and worked full time up to delivery. With the miscarriage I was horribly sick, even before we knew the baby hadn't formed correctly.

I'm not sure there is anything to be done to prevent an early miscarriage. For example, with my first I didn't know I was pregnant until I was about 6 weeks along. I was drinking and smoking off and on that whole time, eating sushi ... all the stuff you're not supposed to do during a pregnancy. My first was born happily at 9 lbs. With the miscarriage - my second pregnancy - I was doing everything right as we were trying to get pregnant, and I still lost the baby.

Don't let a miscarriage frighten you away from trying again. 8 months after mine I was pregnant again, and delivered last Feb. I was frightened to try again, afraid to go through all that hurt another time - but everything was wonderful!

[moomies]

http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/ran...ighlight=truth

Posters discussed their experience with childbirth in the thread above, if you are interested...some of the stories sounded scary and/or gross, others even funny but mostly I think it is a wonderful thing.

[darksithbunny]

I have had 3 miscarriages that I know of. I am pretty sure that I had 2 others but never went to the doc for them.

I had my first baby at 19, 2nd at 23, 3rd at 29, and 4th at 34. I can tell you from my experience is that the older you get, the harder it gets and I mean in every way you could possibly imagine. It's harder to push it out. It's harder to just live! Bless the women who are popping out babies at 40. Not me. I just turned 35 and forget about it! After having my 3rd, pushing out that almost 10 pounder, I said if I have one more, csection! And I did.

And all my babies were huge. All 8 and up. And I have a small frame.

Would I do it again? Hell yes! LOL. Yes. It sounds crazy but it is the most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life. The whole thing is just crazy! How something microscopic turns into the most beautiful thing that you will ever see in this whole world....words just cant describe it. And the rush that you feel after you give birth.....totally the best high ever. EVER.

Let us know when you do. Would love to hear what you experience.

[Dean James]

I absolutely want to have a baby, I just don't know when it's coming along. I've got some time, I'm only 28. I need to get over it, lol!

[LynnieD]

Well......I'm going to follow the old rule of 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'....and not say anything here.

I am currently pregnant w/2nd baby, due in 10 wks. And have been in HELL ever since day 1. And don't get started on my 2 1/2 yr old---the birth was absolutely the worst physical experience I have ever gone through, and it didn't end in the hospital.

My advice: Don't do a THING unless you have a very good support system, and I mean GOOD SUPPORT system. You will need help, and lots of it. If you don't have people to rely on (like me) it's a serious world of hurt.

This is all I will say.....

[AliceInWonderland]

Originally Posted by panda

As a nurse, I witnessed childbirth and decided it wasn't for me!

me too!!! (for the most part )

and it seems like everyone i see is fuckin' pregnant too Dean James! Whats goin' on?!

[Mira]

Originally Posted by LynnieD

Well......I'm going to follow the old rule of 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'....and not say anything here.

I am currently pregnant w/2nd baby, due in 10 wks. And have been in HELL ever since day 1. And don't get started on my 2 1/2 yr old---the birth was absolutely the worst physical experience I have ever gone through, and it didn't end in the hospital.

My advice: Don't do a THING unless you have a very good support system, and I mean GOOD SUPPORT system. You will need help, and lots of it. If you don't have people to rely on (like me) it's a serious world of hurt.

This is all I will say.....

This is extremely good advice. I had two good pregnancies (with exactly 8 weeks of nausea that lasted from week 8 to week 16), and two horrible, horrible labor and deliveries (48 hours each) that ended in C-Sections. I was 32 and 35 at the time, and I had "natural childbirth" doctors. I could write a book about it, the pain, the way I was treated in the hospital, esp. by the nurse/midwife who was an absolute cold-hearted bitch (what was she doing in that profession?), etc. etc.

You absolutely have to have a good support system. Seriously, if I had known what absolute heartache I would go through because I lived in an area away from my friends and unsupportive family, I wouldn't have done it (have kids), or I would have at least insisted on moving back to Northern Calif. for my pregnancies (but that really couldn't have happened because of hubby's job and we owned a house by then).

If you don't have a good support system, then you must have enough money to get out once in awhile. My ex and I made the mistake of always wanting to be around our kids, even though we had the money to go out. That was a mistake. I can't say enough about having a good support system, or creating one with financial resources.

Sometimes friends can be a good support system, but they are usually going through their own family/children issues so that kind of help can be limited.

Another thing I think is really important: ask your doctor what kind of bedside manner he has in the last 8 weeks of his patients' pregnancies. Both my doctors went very impersonal and incommunicado; I later found out from friends that this happened to them too. It is very important for a doctor to remain open, friendly, available during those last 8 weeks. I wasn't even needy, I just noticed this 'tude that really hurt my feelings. So if you ever get to that point, watch out for it or head it off at the pass in the very beginning.

One other thing I discovered is that my doctor was "hail fellow well met, all smiles" to his patients, while treating staff in a very ugly manner. You want happy people around you attending your birth, not people who are seeting with boss issues.

[Biatch]

LynnieD

Well......I'm going to follow the old rule of 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'....and not say anything here.

I am currently pregnant w/2nd baby, due in 10 wks. And have been in HELL ever since day 1. And don't get started on my 2 1/2 yr old---the birth was absolutely the worst physical experience I have ever gone through, and it didn't end in the hospital.

My advice: Don't do a THING unless you have a very good support system, and I mean GOOD SUPPORT system. You will need help, and lots of it. If you don't have people to rely on (like me) it's a serious world of hurt.

This is all I will say.....

Lynnie , we are having a bay around same time!!! .
God bless and wish you all a very happy and special time!!!

We can have a vodka with Eddie afterwards!!!Or champers!!
(I won't be able 4 motnhs because of B-feeding... :sad: )