Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes keep baby Suri hidden from their friends

[ultrafabviolet]

The kid is real. I have in my possession two photos that I received from one of my inside-the-Beltway cohorts. Word is, Katie and the church's [sic] "baby" are cloistered in a scientology cabin, in Frederick County--near Burkittsville, MD (uh-hemmm).

My source, who had ventured into the woods in search of meteorite fragments, snapped this photograph of the startled not-a-baby:



When the startled not-a-baby levitated (demi-deities do not crawl/walk/run) to the safety of the alabaster spice cookie flying total consciousness lightship, my "source" followed it, and subsequently snapped this photo through a porthole. Apparently, it was bath time:



What is not clear is whether not-a-baby Suri was beckoning my interloping friend to join the Borg, or simply asking for the soap.

(Remember the anagram: Tom Cruise is COMIT RUSE.)

Vi

[Palermo]

"or simply asking for the soap. "

funniest thing I've heard in awhile

[gregsgirl60]

I had my suspicions about Chris Klein being the real dad and was tickled pink to see that someone else mentioned that. If there is a problem with the baby, maybe Mr. Cruise did some irreversible damage to little Suri with all of those at-home sonograms???

[AKAMissy]

At the risk of sounding very dumb AND having all of you laugh at me, I just gotta know.
Are you serious that you think the pregnancy was fake? I thought everyone was just jokingly saying that b/c they hated Tom Cruise. I mean there were photos of Katie and she had stretchmarks, a big belly, and she had obviously gained weight. Right? I don't know.
Why would anyone fake a pregnancy?

[Bellatheball]

^^ Oh there are hundreds (ok maybe 15-20) threads on this all over this board. Go to the Misc. section and look for them. You'll see all of the theories. The two main ones are that she was pregnant with someone else's child and they wanted us all to think it was his (thereby reinforcing that he is not gay). Most of those people think it's Chris Klein's baby or she came from a one nighter. The other big theory is that she was never pregnant but that this is a huge ploy to again show the public Thetan Tom isn't gay.

Either way, most of us think there is something rotten in Denmark. Almost everyone here seems to think that she was paid to be his beard.

Does that bring you up to speed?

So can we get a count? Who believes Katie really is pregnant? Who doesn't?

Tom Cruise -- Why the Charade? Warning -- long post!

Katie Holmes and Brooke Shields: 2 Girls, within hours? hmmm

The Brand Spanking New Katie Holmes Poll - Is she pregnant?

Sadly, these are just a sampling. We all need lives.

[asha22]

I think Nicole is the only person to have seen Suri....didnt Tom thoughtfully send her a picture for her birthday? Im surprised it hasnt been 'leaked.'

[sluce]

Originally Posted by Grimmlok

FOUND HER!



She was on the couch the whole time...

Ahhh - Suri with the fringe on top! Hope no one sits on her.

[angelais]

Originally Posted by sluce

Ahhh - Suri with the fringe on top! Hope no one sits on her.

Yeah I think there is a baby, but not Tom's. Maybe they gave the baby up for scientology sacrifice and are shopping for a new one. We will see the kids when she's about six or seven months old if we're lucky (or un-lucky).

[twitchy]

Originally Posted by asha22

I think Nicole is the only person to have seen Suri....didnt Tom thoughtfully send her a picture for her birthday? Im surprised it hasnt been 'leaked.'

Meh, he probably just found a photo on the web somewhere. Perhaps where Vi found those creepy dolls!

[LynnieD]

Apparently Tom sending Nicole a photo was just a rumor. Like everything else involving him....all rumors.

[AKAMissy]

Originally Posted by Bellatheball

^^ Oh there are hundreds (ok maybe 15-20) threads on this all over this board. Go to the Misc. section and look for them. You'll see all of the theories. The two main ones are that she was pregnant with someone else's child and they wanted us all to think it was his (thereby reinforcing that he is not gay). Most of those people think it's Chris Klein's baby or she came from a one nighter. The other big theory is that she was never pregnant but that this is a huge ploy to again show the public Thetan Tom isn't gay.

Either way, most of us think there is something rotten in Denmark. Almost everyone here seems to think that she was paid to be his beard.

Does that bring you up to speed?

So can we get a count? Who believes Katie really is pregnant? Who doesn't?

Tom Cruise -- Why the Charade? Warning -- long post!

Katie Holmes and Brooke Shields: 2 Girls, within hours? hmmm

The Brand Spanking New Katie Holmes Poll - Is she pregnant?

Sadly, these are just a sampling. We all need lives.

LOL. Thanks Bella. Now, I'm off to read all about the pillow, *ahem* baby. I love conspiracy theories.

[HWBL]

Originally Posted by AKAMissy

LOL. Thanks Bella. Now, I'm off to read all about the pillow, *ahem* baby. I love conspiracy theories.

Don't forget to look up the threads on "pregnant" Katie Holmes' shopping sprees right before "giving birth". She had this insatiable need to show off her mega sized pillow in the tenth (or was it eleventh?) month by going to shoe stores and coffee outlets all over the US, while wearing the most hideous excuses for maternity clothes.....

[Bellatheball]

^^Oh damn, and I forgot the imposter Katie thread.

[CheriLyn]

OK, so now we know where they got the name 'Suri'.......it's just a short version of 'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre'.

[Warren]

My theory is the went to a sperm donor clinic, and received without knowing sperm from an African American. Thus their ploy to trick the world would have been uncovered. So they have to keep the baby in hidding till they could speak with Micheal Jackson's doctor on how to dye the babies skin white.