Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson Separate

[Seapharris7]

I feel a certain pang in my heart when young couples spilt. But it seems as though the papers are drawn and they have both made their decision.

[GoldDust77]

Originally Posted by PrettyGirl

GoldDust, your post was hilarious and I agree...I think eventually age differences that consist of a decade or more do eventually become issues. It did in my last relationship. I hope you and your hubby work things out...I'm not even married but realize how difficult relationships can be, but, in my case, I can at least walk out when I want. When you're married it's a whole different ball game.

BTW, my sister also married in 2000 and I've suspected some marital problems on her homefront lately but I wouldn't dare ask. Her husband is hardly ever around and she seems very unhappy. That 7 year itch must be a biggie to overcome...

PrettyGirl,
THANK YOU for even responding to my (long & boring) post. I was feeling kinda stupid for typing all that personal stuff, and no one probably even bothered to read it, and if they did, they didn't comment, and i was embarassed. Thanks!

Anyway, yes, for the first time in 5 1/2 years of marriage, being married IS kind of difficult. I don't know why, all of a sudden it just is. I guess, i'm at an age where i want to enjoy the remaining time of my 20s (which, in my opinion, is our time to be young & carefree & have FUN) and am still acting the same way i always have all throughout my 20s (i still enjoy going out a lot, nightclubbing with friends & stuff like that.... My hubby HATES stuff like that.) ....I love going out, spending ample time with my friends, dressing in a rather wild style (i have a lot of piercings, etc.--whereas my hubby is very conservative); he doesn't "get" any of the music, art, Internet culture, movies, etc. that i love (and these are the things that make me happy. And he just doesn't "get" them at all, never mind appreciate them or participate in them with me!).....etc... Whereas, he is suddenly closer to 40 than 30, and i'm still in my 20s! And the bottom line is, he acts old for his age, and i probably act young for my age. Suddenly, there's a "chasm" between us. The age difference has never seemed so wide as it does now. I'm sure, though that we'll get thru it; we always do. I know that i'm the one who is responsible for a majority of the (fairly minor) problems we're experiencing; and i will do what i have to do to make it work. I'm sure it will be "all good" in no time, like it always has. Like you said, maybe we're getting the infamous "7-year Itch" a bit early!

Anyway, you are smart to hold off on getting married, until you are CERTAIN you are 100% ready. I wasn't. I married young (barely 23), and i kind of just did it because my family wanted me to marry him (we were living together) and he was more than ready (we'd been engaged since i was 18).....So even though i guess, looking back, i knew in the very back recesses of my mind that i wasn't truly 100% ready, i went ahead and did it. I don't regret it or anything.--He's a WONDERFUL GUY who i would not want to lose for all the money in the world. I'm just passing along my wisdom to you & others, to not "take the plunge" until you are absolutely ready with all your brain and all your heart! And like i said, i/we will work it out. It's just a rough patch. (Again, oops!, Sorry to go so off track with talking about personal stuff!)

[PrettyGirl]

^I do want to get married, but I think I've held off not doing it, not because I didn't meet great men in my lifetime. I did, but it's not just a matter of love...it's compatibility and so many other factors. I saw those 'flags' and held off.

Sometimes, I think it's better to get married in your 40's. By that time, both people seem to know what they want, they've been there, done that, probably have a marriage and kids under their belt and are looking for something serious--something to last them through the duration of their lives. Yeah, people have more baggage the longer you wait, and there are those exceptions of men wanting to play the field, but overall, I think the vast majority of marriages that start off later in life last longer...I don't know if people are more settled, less likely to play the field or maybe just hang in there because they're too lazy to hit the dating world again, but it seems like the odds are slightly higher that the older you are when you marry, the odds of it lasting the rest of your life is better. Not people who married very young and then divorced in their 40's and 50's after twenty-something years of marriage....I'm talking about people who meet, date and then marry later in life.

The downside of that is that we don't have until our 40's or 50's to have kids (we women that is!). So if you want something more conventional or formal for the sake of bringing children into the world or picture, then you're sort of forced to get married younger. Mother Nature definitely screwed us over in that regard! lol

My mother re-married at 41 and her marriage lasted for almost 20 yrs till her husband died. I have a few co-workers who also met and married their husbands in their 40's and now they're traveling, enjoying each other, living pretty mellow. By that age, most of the 'drama' is probably gone--people just want to relax and live peacefully. They don't sweat the 'small shit' anymore...*hopefully*. Anyway, marriage definitely takes hard work (no matter what age) and my hats off to people who have 10, 15, 20 yrs under their belt. In this day and age it's RARE.

[panda]

I thought they were a cute couple and I hate to hear of divorce any time a child is involved.

[olivia720]

I'm actually sad to hear this and my jaw did drop. Call me naieve, but I thought they fit each other pretty well.

GoldDust, I also appreciate your personal posts. I find them interesting. I'm usually lamenting about being single at age 33, so I need a reality check that marriages aren't always a walk in the park.

[Classic Broad]

Saw it coming a long time ago.
About a month ago, there was a photo going around with Chris walking ahead of her and they both looked majorly P.O.ed.
Then the beach photos where she said "they keep in touch by phone."
She's been working out lately.
Getting ready to date.
It's been over for a while.

[aabbcc]

Originally Posted by olivia720

I'm usually lamenting about being single at age 33 ...

Don't feel bad. I'm single and 41 and there isn't even a hint of future prospects on the horizon.

[sluce]

GoldDust - I married someone 18 years older. I was 25 and he was 43 when we met and we married 3 years later. I had my daughter when I was 30 and he was 48. He had 2 kis from a previous marrige and we had custody. I became more mature and settled with parenthood - he headed for a midlife crisis, bought a Harley and started drinking. I left.

I feel age differences can add troubles to marriage which is often hard enough but there is no doubt that you can overcome it if you are both still in love and committed. I wish you all the best.

[card]

Golddust, don't be embarrassed about your personal post. Marriage is a struggle no matter what. Everyone goes thru rough patches. I'll share something with you...... I married my husband when I was 18 & he was 19. We bought a house a year later, had our first child after 5 years, 2nd after 10 years. We've been married 21 years. It has been a struggle many many times, and there's a chance if it wasn't for the kids and my determination of keeping the family unit in tact, perhaps I would've left. As long as the good outweighs the bad and you feel it's worth working at, then hang in there. It's rough, as you both grow, you DO develop different interests and develop your personalities. Sometimes they go in opposite directions. Perhaps you can try to find common ground with your husband, something you both enjoy doing together. Nothing wrong with doing things apart, but find something to do together and bond over. That may help you.

[GoldDust77]

GoldDust, I also appreciate your personal posts. I find them interesting. I'm usually lamenting about being single at age 33, so I need a reality check that marriages aren't always a walk in the park.

Thanks so much, Olivia! I really appreciate that. I felt bad about taking up space on this gossip board with my personal crap, and you & others made me feel better & less embarassed. And there is NOTHING bad about being single at age 33! (See below.) In fact, i kind of envy you--ENJOY IT! I'm sure being single is hard at times, but also, as you said, marriages are certainly no "walk in the park" either!

Originally Posted by Golddust
I'm usually lamenting about being single at age 33 ...
Don't feel bad. I'm single and 41 and there isn't even a hint of future prospects on the horizon.

aabbcc, You actually quoted Olivia 720 there; i didn't say that. I'm not the "single 33-year-old", i'm the "28-year-old one who's whining about her marriage problems cuz of the age difference with my 37-year-old hubby", which started this whole discussion.

But anyway aabbcc, like i said to Olivia, there is NOTHING wrong with being single! Enjoy it! You get to do what you want, when you want, and i'm sure you probably don't see the greatness in that, but many of us "tied-down" married folk do!

Originally Posted by PrettyGirl

...Sometimes, I think it's better to get married in your 40's. By that time, both people seem to know what they want, they've been there, done that, probably have a marriage and kids under their belt and are looking for something serious--something to last them through the duration of their lives. Yeah, people have more baggage the longer you wait, and there are those exceptions of men wanting to play the field, but overall, I think the vast majority of marriages that start off later in life last longer...I don't know if people are more settled, less likely to play the field or maybe just hang in there because they're too lazy to hit the dating world again, but it seems like the odds are slightly higher that the older you are when you marry, the odds of it lasting the rest of your life is better...

The downside of that is that we don't have until our 40's or 50's to have kids (we women that is!). So if you want something more conventional or formal for the sake of bringing children into the world or picture, then you're sort of forced to get married younger. Mother Nature definitely screwed us over in that regard! lol

I agree with you PrettyGirl, that the odds of marriage lasting are better if you wait till you're older. IMO, getting married in your 20s in not a good idea. (As the old saying goes: Hindsight is 20/20!) I personally now think that people should wait till they are in their 30s to get married, ideally. Of course, what is "ideal" rarely happens! And as you pointed out, of course there's that issue of us women only having a certain amount of time in which to have kids. (Whereas men have as long as they want! Yup, Mother Nature screwed us over hardcore!) So, if you want kids, waiting till your 40s is not feasible (though i agree with you that waiting till your 40s, when you're more mature, secure in your self-identity, & know exactly what you want, is a great time to get married). So to me, 30 or maybe 32 or 34 is the IDEAL age to get married--this is just my own opinion of course.

GoldDust - I married someone 18 years older. I was 25 and he was 43 when we met and we married 3 years later. I had my daughter when I was 30 and he was 48. He had 2 kis from a previous marrige and we had custody. I became more mature and settled with parenthood - he headed for a midlife crisis, bought a Harley and started drinking. I left.

I feel age differences can add troubles to marriage which is often hard enough but there is no doubt that you can overcome it if you are both still in love and committed. I wish you all the best.

Sluce, Thanks for sharing your experience, I really appreciate it! I'm sorry to hear that your ex-husband (who was the older one, no less), started acting so freaking immature (drinking and such) and that the marriage ended. But sounds like you did the right thing for leaving a bad situation.--I applaud you. Hopefully all that is in the past and you're living a happy, fullfilled life (while your ex cries every night wishing he still had you!, heehee). Anyway, yes age differences, i'm suddenly finding (after people have been warning us of this for 11 years, and we were all like, "The age difference is SO NOT an issue!") that they really can cause problems. But yes we are both in love & committed to the marriage. Our marriage has always been rather, um, "unconventional"; my husband has given me a lot of freedom and "kept me on a very short leash" so to speak....But i'm ready to change and commit myself more fully to him. I'm confident we'll work through this.

Thanks again all you guys that have talked to me about this! I really appreciate it, and it makes my opinion of this awesome site go even higher! (didn't think that was possible!)

Originally Posted by card

Golddust, don't be embarrassed about your personal post. Marriage is a struggle no matter what. Everyone goes thru rough patches. I'll share something with you...... I married my husband when I was 18 & he was 19. We bought a house a year later, had our first child after 5 years, 2nd after 10 years. We've been married 21 years. It has been a struggle many many times, and there's a chance if it wasn't for the kids and my determination of keeping the family unit in tact, perhaps I would've left. As long as the good outweighs the bad and you feel it's worth working at, then hang in there. It's rough, as you both grow, you DO develop different interests and develop your personalities. Sometimes they go in opposite directions. Perhaps you can try to find common ground with your husband, something you both enjoy doing together. Nothing wrong with doing things apart, but find something to do together and bond over. That may help you.

Card,
You posted while i was preparing my long-ass post replying to others you had so kindly responded to me. I wanted to thank you too for sharing your experience with me. That is awesome that you & you hubby have stuck together for 21 years! Couples like you are an inspiration to me. "It's rough, as you both grow, you DO develop different interests and develop your personalities." --BINGO! That's exactly what we're going thru right now. But, like you & your hubby, we have every intention of working thru this. Like you suggested, we will work on finding some common ground & finding things we enjoy doing TOGETHER. In fact, i have recently decided that i will take up golf (*gag*), my hubby's favorite hobby, so we will have a hobby to enjoy together. Just a little thing that i'm willing to do, to make him happy. And God knows, he makes plenty of efforts to do things of that nature for me. It's time that i "step up to the plate", and i fully intend to do just that. Thanks again for talking with me about this, i really appreciate it!

[aabbcc]

aabbcc, You actually quoted Olivia 720 there

I noticed that afterward. I was editing the quote and I edited out the wrong name.

[chuckpony]

who doesn't split up?

[PrettyGirl]

That's the thing, NORMAL people try and make their marriages work because they have to or have too much too lose. These Hollywood marriages are such shams because there is no real incentive to stay in it--heck, these people don't even need each other! When you have two celebrities, they are both so set and have so much money oozing out of their ass that they don't need a partner....they can afford whatever they want: a nanny, a home, a career, a car--what do they need a spouse for? Normal people don't have that luxury. We struggle. We live in the real world. It's not that easy to just pack up and leave so we try to work differences out with our partners for the most part. Rich people in Hollywood don't have to and that's why there's so much divorce and they don't last long IMO.

[card]

Originally Posted by GoldDust77

Card,
You posted while i was preparing my long-ass post replying to others you had so kindly responded to me. I wanted to thank you too for sharing your experience with me. That is awesome that you & you hubby have stuck together for 21 years! Couples like you are an inspiration to me. "It's rough, as you both grow, you DO develop different interests and develop your personalities." --BINGO! That's exactly what we're going thru right now. But, like you & your hubby, we have every intention of working thru this. Like you suggested, we will work on finding some common ground & finding things we enjoy doing TOGETHER. In fact, i have recently decided that i will take up golf (*gag*), my hubby's favorite hobby, so we will have a hobby to enjoy together. Just a little thing that i'm willing to do, to make him happy. And God knows, he makes plenty of efforts to do things of that nature for me. It's time that i "step up to the plate", and i fully intend to do just that. Thanks again for talking with me about this, i really appreciate it!

First off thanks for the kind words, if I can help someone else by what I've been thru, then there's a reason for all of this. We all share experiences on this board. Hey Golddust now that you said this about taking up golf, that's exactly what I was going to post next! Each of you can make some exceptions for the other person. Like you said you'd take up golf, GOOD FOR YOU!! My husband went thru a stage where things would be happening, and he would say that he's "not into that" What I had to get thru his head was that, while HE may not be into that, one of his loved ones IS into that, and it would mean alot to that person if you supported them in their interests. Like my son plays football and wrestles in high school. I make a point to go to every single game and cheer him on regardless of the weather. Now, if my son wasn't involved I wouldn't be going there cheering on a bunch of kids, but it MEANS ALOT TO MY SON, therefore I go. My husband started his bs of how he shouldn't be "bothered" on his "day off". Supporting my son is not a BOTHER to me. My husband trained for the Chicago marathon, and I was right there on my bike, training with him while he ran. Keep in mind I'd had back surgery a month earlier, but it is important to let your loved ones know you are there. He understands the concept now, and is better about stuff like that. Marriage is a give & take situation. Who knows, you might really like golf! I hated football as a teen but my husband was an NFL fan so I learned how the game was played, and guess what?!? I really enjoyed watching the sport once I learned it. Think of this as a growing experience. Golf is something you can do together. Now, this might sound weird but I know lots of couples are doing ballroom dancing lessons together. WE haven't done it but it's a thought. Once our kids are grown we've talked about learning that together, and learning a foreign language, etc. Our kids activities are our main focus right now. Since you don't have kids yet, do stuff together where you can grow together. Do you have a house? Plant a garden together, grow vegetables, and then make meals together with them. You dont' have to give up your individual identity of the internet, art, etc. Just expand. Good luck and God Bless!

[PrettyGirl]

Wow, there's some great marriage advice here...I think I'm printing this out and referring back to it for future use! haha.

I agree, getting married in your 40's is good, but if you want kids, you realistically can't wait that long. So for women, 32 or 33 yrs old is a good age to marry if your objective is to have a family. You're mature enough to have kids but not wet behind the ears. As far as men go, in my opinion a man should NEVER marry before age 30. But they do have the advantage in that they can continue having children well into their 70's or 80's. Why, anyone at that age would want to even have children, I have nooooo idea, but I guess Mother Nature doeesn't make mistakes...