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Thread: Jennifer Aniston: Adoption Papers Filed!

  1. #136
    Elite Member sweetness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Born In A Brothel View Post


    She is probably pissed she had a c-section too.
    Damn. Good one!!!

  2. #137
    Elite Member Voodoo Child's Avatar
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    Not sure there is anything Jennifer has to be jealous of in terms of AJ's body. She is way too skinny and has gnarly old oak branches for arms. Who wants old granny arms at such a young age?

  3. #138
    Elite Member Born In A Brothel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetness View Post
    HAHA!!! I think it was effie2 on here that originally came up with that.

    I'm pretty sure there was also a part in there about her sacrificing baby dolls.

    Sounds like a perfect description of Maniston to me!!
    Jennifer Aniston Might Be Insane

    - Throwing baby dolls into a bonfire – the perfect way to calm your nerves!


    By: Elena Gorgan, Entertainment News Editor

    The interview, published in 'Vogue', is said to have wrecked havoc in Jen's soul, who began reliving the post-Pitt drama all over again. If one were to believe 'Us Weekly', the 'Friends' star is so affected by the way Brad moved on with his beautiful Angelina (especially because she is now also suffering from the Vince Vaughn split) that she took up rather savage practices for calming down her nerves.

    'She collapses in a heap, clutching her womb like she's been stabbed if she so much as passes a baby stroller on the street. [She's] throwing baby dolls into a bonfire on the beach behind her place in Malibu. It's creepy, but she says it makes her feel better for a few hours.', a source told the tabloid.

    But, still, there is hope for her too! Cue to the same spy: 'At least she's stopped watching "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" over and over again, for days at a time without eating or sleeping. That just wasn't healthy'. Another of Jennifer's well-intentioned 'friends' went to the media with the story that she's planning to adopt a baby boy, a child being exactly the thing she needs now to move on too.



  4. #139
    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
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    That womb clutching and doll burning is hilarious. Completely fucked up if true, but comedy gold none the less.

  5. #140
    Hit By Ban Bus! Lily's Avatar
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    ^Oh yeah, that sounds real.


  6. #141
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voodoo Child View Post
    Not sure there is anything Jennifer has to be jealous of in terms of AJ's body. She is way too skinny and has gnarly old oak branches for arms. Who wants old granny arms at such a young age?
    The fact that Brad's on top of Angie's body, and not her's, would be a jumping off point for Maniston's jealousy.

  7. #142
    Elite Member sweetness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingcap72 View Post
    I don't know what effie2 came up with, but that's the image that popped into my head when I wrote it.
    So as Maniston is consumed by frenzy, she wickedly tosses baby dolls into the fire, then suddenly turns away from the blazing pit to screech (more appropriate than scream especially for her) at the ocean whilst clutching her sandy, barren womb. Courtney rushes in to put an end to the madness..... she gently cradles Maniston her arms.

    Yep, sounds about right to me!!

  8. #143
    Elite Member sweetness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Born In A Brothel View Post
    Jennifer Aniston Might Be Insane

    - Throwing baby dolls into a bonfire – the perfect way to calm your nerves!


    By: Elena Gorgan, Entertainment News Editor

    The interview, published in 'Vogue', is said to have wrecked havoc in Jen's soul, who began reliving the post-Pitt drama all over again. If one were to believe 'Us Weekly', the 'Friends' star is so affected by the way Brad moved on with his beautiful Angelina (especially because she is now also suffering from the Vince Vaughn split) that she took up rather savage practices for calming down her nerves.

    'She collapses in a heap, clutching her womb like she's been stabbed if she so much as passes a baby stroller on the street. [She's] throwing baby dolls into a bonfire on the beach behind her place in Malibu. It's creepy, but she says it makes her feel better for a few hours.', a source told the tabloid.

    But, still, there is hope for her too! Cue to the same spy: 'At least she's stopped watching "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" over and over again, for days at a time without eating or sleeping. That just wasn't healthy'. Another of Jennifer's well-intentioned 'friends' went to the media with the story that she's planning to adopt a baby boy, a child being exactly the thing she needs now to move on too.


    HAHAHAHA!!!!

    THANK YOU Born In A Brothel!!

    I knew I'd seen it somewhere-- I think effie2's version must've stood out to me b/c she worded it so hilariously.

  9. #144
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetness View Post
    So as Maniston is consumed by frenzy, she wickedly tosses baby dolls into the fire, then suddenly turns away from the blazing pit to screech (more appropriate than scream especially for her) at the ocean whilst clutching her sandy, barren womb. Courtney rushes in to put an end to the madness..... she gently cradles Maniston her arms.

    Yep, sounds about right to me!!
    Well, I guess great minds must think alike. It's all good.

  10. #145
    Elite Member sweetness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingcap72 View Post
    Well, I guess great minds must think alike. It's all good.
    That's right.

  11. #146
    Elite Member CherryDarling's Avatar
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    OMG, y'all are KILLING me! These threads are always entertaining.
    Mischief. Mayhem. Tattoos. Soap.

  12. #147
    Elite Member crackho's Avatar
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    Why doesn't she just adopt Britney's 1.7 kids? I bet she could get them for real cheap.

  13. #148
    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crackho View Post
    Why doesn't she just adopt Britney's 1.7 kids? I bet she could get them for real cheap.
    I'm sure Britney would trade them for a six pack of bud and a tube of pringles.

  14. #149
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crackho View Post
    Why doesn't she just adopt Britney's 1.7 kids? I bet she could get them for real cheap.
    Well, at least Britney's kids would learn the importance of always having clean underwear on.

  15. #150
    Elite Member Picara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voodoo Child View Post
    Not sure there is anything Jennifer has to be jealous of in terms of AJ's body. She is way too skinny and has gnarly old oak branches for arms. Who wants old granny arms at such a young age?
    Quote Originally Posted by kingcap72 View Post
    The fact that Brad's on top of Angie's body, and not her's, would be a jumping off point for Maniston's jealousy.
    Yeah, I'm sure Brad loves fucking his Grandma.

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