Lindsay Lohan eats her words before Elle even hits the stands

[hazel17]

This "Elle" magazine interview with Lindsay Lohan is a doozy! Lohan allegedly told the magazine that she would NEVER drink and drive. Or switch pants with someone who has the cocainya fields of Bogata, Columbia in their pocket. Or try to murder her assistant by carjacking three dildoes to give chase. WHILE DRUNK. Never. She's more likely to become a nun or work with retarded adults or journey to Oz than drink and drive!

In late May, LiLo told Elle magazine (via the New York Daily News) that she'd never -- never -- get into a car after drinking. "They're looking for me, to like trip, so they can be like, 'Oh Lindsay's wasted and driving drunk.' And that's not it. I wouldn't violate ... I'm much more responsible than that." Of course she is. The next night, May 26, Lindsay was popped for DUI when she crashed her car, and less than two months later ... well, we all know what happened. Elle's September issue -- with Lindz on the cover -- comes out next week.

She's incredibly responsible. When I saw that pic of her in the bikini with the alcohol bracelet on her ankle flashing the peace sign and looking snotty, that's when I thought "she should really run for office. She could steer the country to great things".

One shot from Lindsay's Elle photo shoot after the jump.

A Socialite's Life


Here's some more funny excerpts from the interview... this chick is beyond delusional!!!

On attending rehab at Wonderland before her 21st birthday:
“I was growing up and going out a lot, and I needed to have a balance. I was glad I went, because I needed to get away from everyone and I didn’t know how to do that. And I learned a lot there. A bunch of my friends – I was with them last night – they’re in AA for, like, years.”

On her sometimes-boyfriend Calum Best:
“I like him. He’s me in male form. We’re very similar. Stubborn, rebellious, very smart, coy, a little bit narcissistic – I think all actors have a little bit of that, and so they should. We’ll be kidding around, like the other day when we were in the Bahamas … I was walking by some mirror. And he caught me looking in the mirror and he goes, ‘I caught that!’ I was like, ‘Damn, I look good!’

On her future projects:
“There’s this Walter Salles film I really want to do. It’s called On the Road. It has the vibe of that movie The Dreamers […] I want to work with Walter Salles so bad. I had to audition for him. It was the first audition I’ve had since Freaky Friday.”

On the media firestorm surrounding her:
“I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel like I’m distracting from the other things that are important, like global warming and that kind of stuff. I genuinely mean that. And I don’t know what to do.”

On avoiding fame:
“I hate it, like, when these people say, ‘Well, why do you go to the Ivy if you don’t want …’ Seriously, I like their food! I can’t go to a restaurant? I know I’m going to get pictures taken. I’m fine with it. And I’m going to go have their food. People give you shit for it: ‘Don’t go on Robertson!’ What, I can’t drive down the street?”

On being photographed without underwear:
“It was once, and it was when I was in Venice. And I was rushing through the room, threw the Prada dress on. And that’s what happened. And I didn’t even see the picture. I don’t look at that shit – that’s gross. If I wear a dress I have underwear on.”

On sleep troubles:
“I have really bad insomnia. My whole life. I get nervous at night going to bed, and being awake alone really freaks me out.”

On her career aspirations:
“I just want to be nominated for an award for all the work I’ve done. It’s so funny – people forget that I played two characters in Parent Trap when I was twelve years old.”

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[nwgirl]

Pretty sad when you can't even outlast the couple of weeks it takes to publish a mag.

[Sweetie]

That is a horrible picture, her boobs are to her knees.

[hazel17]

it seems soooo airbrushed cause i dont ever remember her breasts being THAT big... and droopy...

[southernbelle]

Wow. This reads more like something that would be in Mad magazine than a legitimate interview. I think Elle would be better off scrapping it and starting from scratch with someone else.

[Novice]

Look at this dumb dumb. Back in May Lindsay Lohan had an interview for September's Elle Magazine where she told them she would never drink and drive.

"They're looking for me, to like trip, so they can be like, 'Oh Lindsay's wasted and driving drunk.' And that's not it. I wouldn't violate....I'm much more responsible than that."

Hmm....Of course Lindsay doesn't drive drunk! People force her to snort coke, put on their pants, down bottles of Jack and chase crazy people through the streets of Los Angeles. People make her do these things!

Here's some other great quotes from Lil' Lindsay:

On Calum Best:

“I like him. He’s me in male form. We’re very similar. Stubborn, rebellious, very smart, coy, a little bit narcissistic – I think all actors have a little bit of that, and so they should. We’ll be kidding around, like the other day when we were in the Bahamas … I was walking by some mirror. And he caught me looking in the mirror and he goes, ‘I caught that!’ I was like, ‘Damn, I look good!’

Sweetie...honeybear...both of you were most likely high out of your effin minds...so I doubt either of you were capable of deciphering what's deemed as hot.

On the media:

“I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel like I’m distracting from the other things that are important, like global and that kind of stuff. I genuinely mean that. And I don’t know what to do.”

I know what you can do! Move to Siberia!

On avoiding fame:

“I hate it, like, when these people say, ‘Well, why do you go to the Ivy if you don’t want …’ Seriously, I like their food! I can’t go to a restaurant? I know I’m going to get pictures taken. I’m fine with it. And I’m going to go have their food. People give you shit for it: ‘Don’t go on Robertson!’ What, I can’t drive down the street?”

The thing is Lindsay when you drive down Robertson you end up hitting parked cars. True story.

On having pictures of her snatch taken:

“It was once, and it was when I was in Venice. And I was rushing through the room, threw the Prada dress on. And that’s what happened. And I didn’t even see the picture. I don’t look at that shit – that’s gross. If I wear a dress I have underwear on.”

Lindsay you do a lot of that "grabbing and throwing stuff on." It gets you into trouble!

On sleep troubles:
“I have really bad insomnia. My whole life. I get nervous at night going to bed, and being awake alone really freaks me out.”
Crackhead
On her career aspirations:
“I just want to be nominated for an award for all the work I’ve done. It’s so funny – people forget that I played two characters in Parent Trap when I was twelve years old.”
Is there an Annual Bobby Brown Crackhead of the Year award or something? If there was, Lindsay would def be the one to beat!
On the media:
“If I’m wearing a nude thong, they retouch it. I fuck around on my computer – I know how easy it is. They make my face look swollen. I’m like, ‘Are you that bored?’ I hear things about the night before that never even happened. Like, they said I was dating my best friend – the Samantha Ronson thing. She’s my best friend!"
This bitch is really clueless.

Dlisted | Be Very Afraid

[PinkCadillac]

Oh please, that is such bullshit

[Mel1973]

Is there an Annual Bobby Brown Crackhead of the Year award or something? If there was, Lindsay would def be the one to beat!

wuwhahahaha

[nana55]

I don't think Haley Mills was nominated for a award when she played the same part (and did it better) back in the 60's. Lindsay is such an ass.

[southernbelle]

Hayley Mills really was an outstanding child star. Lindsay and the other starlets of today don't even come close to comparing with her.

[Lily]

Yes and Hayley Mills grew up to be a normal human being, too.

[Laurent]

I like the way she managed to treat going to rehab like a vacay to "balance" her out, complimented herself 9 different ways and called herself "very smart," bitches about paparrazzi - but goes where they are at every opportunity, thinks her work in Disney movies is Oscar-caliber.

[nycgirl]

she has such a HUGE ego it's ridiculous

what's wrong with her?!

[Karistiona]

She seems completely addled and vacuous.

[Laurent]

Lohan discussed rehab in mag interview

NEW YORK - Lindsay Lohan talked about her first stay in rehab in an interview that Elle magazine says took place 36 hours before her drunken driving arrest over Memorial Day weekend.

"I was growing up and going out a lot, and I needed to have a balance," Lohan tells the magazine of her stay at the Wonderland Center in Los Angeles in January.

"I was glad I went, because I needed to get away from everyone and I didn't know how to do that. And I learned a lot there. A bunch of my friends — I was with them last night — they're in AA for, like, years," the actress is quoted as saying.

On May 26, Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence after crashing her car into a curb on Sunset Boulevard. She entered the Promises Malibu Alcohol and Drug Rehab Treatment Facility and was released on July 13, after a stay of more than six weeks.

On July 24, the 21-year-old actress was arrested in Santa Monica for investigation of drunken driving and cocaine possession.

In the Elle interview, Lohan asks her assistant Jenni Munro if she can put "the Mercer story" on the record.

Munro then relates the incident, saying Lohan lied about her sobriety during an interview at Manhattan's Mercer Hotel. It was unclear when that interview took place.

"I started laughing," Munro is quoted as saying. "And she says, `Why are you laughing?' And it's because I had just texted our friends this very thing: `A cab to the Mercer, 20 dollars; a room at the Mercer, 500 dollars; listening to Lindsay Lohan say she's sober? Priceless.'"

The September issue of Elle, which features Lohan on the cover, is on newsstands nationwide Aug. 14.

Lohan discussed rehab in mag interview - Yahoo! News

Shocking! Who would've ever thought Blowhan was lying about her sobriety?