Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo's vacation photo scandal

yoyoma · July 5th, 2007, 10:07 PM

Hardcore Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo Sex Photos? Bleaurgh
July 3rd, 2007 at 13:00 by Stuart Heritage

Career reinvention is always tough; especially if, like Nick Lachey, your old career involved helping an idiot bimbo woman through a number of rudimentary situations on a reality TV show like some sort of guide dog for the woefully moronic.

But, by jingo, Nick Lachey seems to have deftly pulled off his latest career reinvention in a matter of seconds. Although up until recently the public image of Nick Lachey was nothing more than as the unfamous professional ex-husband of lantern-jawed popstar Jessica Simpson, now everyone sees Nick Lachey as a kind of unstoppably powerful sex contraption - and it's all thanks to a set of hardcore photos of Nick Lachey having sex with his girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo in a jacuzzi. However, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are now threatening legal action against anyone who publishes their sex photos, which is just as well, since we're expecting them to be so disgusting that our eyes will turn to ash the second we see them.

Everyone thinks they know Nick Lachey. Thanks to his TV series The Newlyweds, which followed the life of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson as they tried to figure out how to open a jar or what a door was, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson became the world's borderline attractive, borderline special needs golden couple. Jessica Simpson was the girl with the goofy charisma, the all-American charm and the special breasts, while Nick Lachey was the man who sort of followed Jessica Simpson around a bit.

But Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson got divorced in 2005, and their paths have skewed off wildly. While Jessica Simpson has been content to hopelessly mangle a Dolly Parton tribute, Nick Lachey has instead focused on stopping internet paedophiles and totally boning his new girlfriend in a hot tub for the world's paparazzi.

The current issue of Life & Style magazine contains photos of Nick Lachey and his girlfriend, former MTV presenter Vanessa Minnillo, 'cavorting' in a Mexican jacuzzi. That's bad enough - we thought that it was only pensioners who cavorted these days - but rumour has it that there are other unpublished photos of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo doing a bunch of sex so graphically that they would probably make children cry. And if Nick Lachey gets his way, those sex photos will remain unpublished. The Daily Dish reports:

Hollywood attorney Marty Singer, who represents the couple, claims the "outrageous and malicious" photographer who snapped the pictures did so illegally. Singer says, "The photos that were taken of our clients by a Mexican photographer violated Mexican law and were a clear invasion of privacy, and we have threatened to take legal action against third parties who publish the photos."

Now, there's obviously the argument that having it off with your girlfriend in an outside jacuzzi sort of diminishes your claim that you wanted privacy, but we're going to go along with Nick Lachey here - not out of a sense of moral decency but because we've barely got over the threat of seeing Scott Stapp's sex tape, and we don't want to be haunted by the image of Nick Lachey's naked arse pumping up and down the same way that Fred Durst's 'O' face haunted us. However, pictures like this never stay hidden for long - it'll be relatively easy for Nick Lachey to ban his sex photos from being published in magazines, but photos of minor celebrities having sex are also the sort of thing that the internet was built for.

But we shouldn't underestimate Nick Lachey's God-given talent for turning a bad situation to his own advantage. Just as Nick used the break-up of his marriage to Jessica Simpson to punt out a sad, brutally scab-picking album, we don't see how the publication of some graphic sex photos of him should prove to be any different. And Nick Lachey seems to agree with us too - word has it he's already written songs entitled I'm Gonna Do You (In The Hot Tub), Doing It In The Hot Tub (All Night Long) and Hey Mr Paparazzi, Take A Photo Of My Boner (And Show It To My Big-Jawed Ex-Wife).

Source:Hardcore Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo Sex Photos? Bleaurgh - Hecklerspray: Music, Movies, TV, Celebs, Games and Gossip
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I hope this haven't been posted yet...

nycgirl · July 5th, 2007, 10:15 PM

the pics:

yoyoma · July 5th, 2007, 10:17 PM

^Ohh snap! Talk about invasion of privacy!

latinaforever · July 5th, 2007, 10:19 PM

not if you are displaying it for all to see

nycgirl · July 5th, 2007, 10:20 PM

^^well yes it's privacy invasion but actually I think it was a publicity stunt. Even though they just got back from the trip a few days ago, they ALREADY have an OK Magazine cover talking about the "scandal" (planned much?) Plus it seems weird that the uncensored versions have never made their way to the net the way they do when scandals usually happen like this. I think it was just too coincidental- plus why would they be out in the open like that knowing the get photographed all the time?

something tells me this is just a publicity thing

SunShine23 · July 5th, 2007, 10:54 PM

i disagree. although I firmly believe Vanessa is a little ho with a huge sense of entitlement, despite her D list status, to give them some credit,they were in a private bungalow in Mexico. Im sure their room was somewhere far enough away from people where they thought they had privacy. The reason for the OK magazine was to do damage control. I highly doubt they up and decided to have sex in public on purpose. Even Parasite was embarassed when her sex tape came out. Nick isnt a publicity whore, even if Vanessa is.

KrisNine · July 5th, 2007, 10:55 PM

Attention celebs, if you are famous and have paparazzi following you around looking for shots of you picking your nose or scratching your ass, do you think they are going to see you fucking in a hot tub??? Nick and Vanessa don't seem to be the brightest bulbs anyway, but FFS, do it in the dark or something.

Anyway, I like Nicks comments "it's not like I picked up a Mexican hooker". Nice. Nothing but class there.

yoyoma · July 5th, 2007, 11:10 PM

Another one:
NSFW
ImageShack - Hosting :: 01gw3.jpg

msdeb · July 5th, 2007, 11:15 PM

now i love Nick, but if they are bumpin uglies, they are fully aware that someone is snapping away....

Lucky32 · July 5th, 2007, 11:25 PM

That one picture looks like they spotted the photographer or at least looking their way. Interesting..........

nycgirl · July 6th, 2007, 12:26 AM

you do have a point

however, having sex in a hot tub (that isn't your own) is still gross and I can't imagine all the germs in that thing now

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunShine23

i disagree. although I firmly believe Vanessa is a little ho with a huge sense of entitlement, despite her D list status, to give them some credit,they were in a private bungalow in Mexico. Im sure their room was somewhere far enough away from people where they thought they had privacy. The reason for the OK magazine was to do damage control. I highly doubt they up and decided to have sex in public on purpose. Even Parasite was embarassed when her sex tape came out. Nick isnt a publicity whore, even if Vanessa is.

happy8 · July 6th, 2007, 01:05 AM

I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. I'd be pissed if they truly didn't know about it and now their pics are all over.

Actually...in Hollywood bad press is good press if your trying to raise your status... Hmmmm