November 29th, 2006, 07:23 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Do fish have boogers?
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Venus
Posts: 1,000,002,104
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JENNIFER LOPEZ is turning to the teachings of Scientology in an effort to become a mum, according to new US reports.
The MAID IN MANHATTAN star, who recently attended the Italian wedding of top celebrity Scientologist TOM CRUISE, is reportedly taking tips from actress LEAH REMINI, who used the religion's doctrines when she was trying to conceive her first child.
According to American publication Life + Style, Lopez became interested in Scientology when Remini confided in her that the religion helped her conceive.
An insider tells the publication, "She's starting to understand the cleansing process. It's all about putting the positive energy where you want it."
The source insists Lopez and her husband MARC ANTHONY are unlikely to join the church because he's a devout Catholic, but "he's willing to let Jen do what she needs to make things happen."
29/11/2006 20:06
http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf...20help_1014963
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November 29th, 2006, 07:42 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Bronze Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 207
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Guess that's why she was at Tom and Katie's wedding despite the fact that she hardly knew them - anything to get preggers...
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November 29th, 2006, 07:42 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Watching the sun set over Lake Superior.
Posts: 12,806
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Does this mean she'll be borrowing The Pillow soon?
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November 29th, 2006, 07:42 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Gold Member
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 886
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Who knew the day would come where you'd be cheering on Marc Anthony 
__________________
Consistency - It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.
Who ordered a naked Swede?? MEEEEE!!
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November 29th, 2006, 07:43 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Lost Angeles
Posts: 34,493
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oh whatever; the evil vindictive bitch practices santaria and even their gods dont want her to get pregnant!
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MY VAG IS ENTRANCE ONLY! "I measure success by the degree to which I ruin other people's lives." -Gary Oldman  In any case as always: I BLAME BUSH!
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November 29th, 2006, 08:49 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Dancing on your grave!!!!
Posts: 9,141
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SVZ
An insider tells the publication, "She's starting to understand the cleansing process. It's all about putting the positive energy where you want it."
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So, "positive energy" is the new euphemism for penis?
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"The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club
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November 29th, 2006, 09:11 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Vincit qui se vincit
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 34,659
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Well it worked for Tom Cruise! Scientology makes the miracles happen!!
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November 29th, 2006, 09:13 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Hit By Ban Bus!
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the sea
Posts: 1,696
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scientology is the new catholic... or at least in hollywood..
*ducking* ..
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November 29th, 2006, 09:32 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Bronze Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: midwest
Posts: 97
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All the emeter readings and level hopping in the world isn't gonna change the fact that she's got a sand box where her uterus should be. Isn't being a step-mom good enough for her???
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November 29th, 2006, 09:33 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Hit By Ban Bus!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Everywhere and nowhere.
Posts: 9,459
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Quote:
Who knew the day would come where you'd be cheering on Marc Anthony
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My God!!!! I KNOW!!!!!!
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November 29th, 2006, 09:54 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: No Sleep til Brooklyn
Posts: 3,187
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I'm sorry but even Xenu can't unshrivel J-Lo's eggs. Maybe you shoulda frozen a baker's dozen while you were in your most fertile years, mamacita.
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November 29th, 2006, 10:19 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,570
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So she'll get knocked up using LRH's frozen sperm? 
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November 30th, 2006, 05:49 AM
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#13 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Trolltopia
Posts: 18,783
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aabbcc
Does this mean she'll be borrowing The Pillow soon?
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 And the baby from the casting agency?
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November 30th, 2006, 10:46 AM
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#14 (permalink)
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Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hell's Kitchen
Posts: 599
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^^^
Yes, ChillyWilly, we have a few options:
-she just went plain bonkers after living with Marc Anthony's corpse for so long
-Lopez had a brain removal procedure while at the wedding
-named corpse had a relationship with Xenu and the ET product needs a home
- the baby agency called in with a surplus looking similar to a mix of BlockyJenny/ZombieMarc
-Lopez feels she is fading from media spotlight and does ANYTHING to get back up front
-They are all a bunch of delusionals
__________________
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Respect is given when respect is deserved.
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November 30th, 2006, 02:19 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Burning Down Your Windmill
Posts: 14,865
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Quote:
ContactMusic reports that Jenny's gonna cleanse herself of body thetans to make room for the baby. JENNIFER LOPEZ is turning to the teachings of Scientology in an effort to become a mum, according to new US reports. The MAID IN MANHATTAN star, who recently attended the Italian wedding of top celebrity Scientologist TOM CRUISE, is reportedly taking tips from actress LEAH REMINI, who used the religion's doctrines when she was trying to conceive her first child. According to American publication Life + Style, Lopez became interested in Scientology when Remini confided in her that the religion helped her conceive. An insider tells the publication, "She's starting to understand the cleansing process. It's all about putting the positive energy where you want it." The source insists Lopez and her husband MARC ANTHONY are unlikely to join the church because he's a devout Catholic, but "he's willing to let Jen do what she needs to make things happen." Is he willing to let her ass go up in a starship? She's seriously take advice from a cult full of blithering idiot alien-worshippers just so they can make mini-future failing pop stars?
http://socialitelife.com/2006/11/30/...mothership.php
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I'm smelling BS on this story, but it would be hilarious if this shit was true.
__________________
So........ you're saying that Froot Loops don't contain real froot?  - Twitchy2.0
When the pants go back on, I'm wearing those motherfuckers. - Mel1973
Girl, you have way too many issues to keep up with - DeChayz
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