Ted C dishes on Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey (Mance)

**Bellatheball** · September 6th, 2006, 01:00 PM

SEP
6
2006

Boyish Botherings

And as long as we're on the greasy derriere scene, let's take an oh so de-lish munch outta the following:
(You're going to love these meaty morsels.)
As cub-snooper Cristina G. already winked to ya, Lance Armstrong is helping Matthew McConaughey with his spending ways. Gosh, do we got a little sugar-dazzle sitch a'brewin'? Yum-yum (with whipped cream and bananas on top) for the free-riding tum!
What's that? Some of you midwestern types don't understand the term sugar-dazzle? Hmmm. Well, just conjure up Oprah 'n' her glitz-showered amigos, and perhaps you'll see the defining light. I'm sure you will.

Back to Desk Mance, which, 'course, is my fave desk to date. Please don't tell the others, 'kay?
Know all the beach-hopping, fancy-hotel-staying frolicking Mance has been up to as of late? Well, guess who's been paying for it all, so say those who see the bills?
If you guessed Matthew, well, you also probably think it's perfectly innocent to play bongos with your buddies in the middle of the night--with no clothes on whatsoever. Yep, that's right: Mr. Armstrong is now footing further high-priced playtime charges, so I'm told by excellent sources.

Interesting. Particularly since L&M's latest stay at the Shore Club, for ince, included a private pool for them both this time round. Hideously expensive, trust moi. Wonder why all the need for seclusion?
I mean, hasn't Mance become the new buddy-buddy poster set for rugged, outdoor, sweaty machismo--fun for all to enjoy--via paid-and-tipped-off outlets such as ET and People (the publicist's one-stop-shopping suck-sources for arranging pre-written "exclusives")? Uh, that would be an affirmative, in case you've been hiding under a rock the size of Mary Hart's rejuvenation bill.

Lancey and Matty, are you all doing poolside crunches in your B-day suits, or somethin'?
For the lubricated record, Mr. Matt likes 100 percent pure coconut oil (to tan, I presume--don't be naughty, now).
Lance, I'm also whispered to, likes his "booze" and was described by someone who partied around during a recent Matt-Lance hotel stay as being "weird...as if in a trance."

Of course he is! He's starting to see that pal Matthew wants as much attention/luxuries/headlines as ex Sheryl did! Any idiot with a tabloid next to his or her john could answer that one. I mean, really.
Salty P.S.: Oh, that crusty Cristina of mine--remember how she reported, all youthful bravado 'n' innuendo, that Lance was out partying in Hell-Ay without the Matty-Man and how she wondered if, perhaps, Mr. A. was not tiring of footing bills for the Texan beef-doll? Well, Cristy-hon, Matt had a good reason for not being out 'n' about with his BFF: He was bod-surfing in Cape Cod. Right near Jake Gyllenhaal! So, not to worry, dear. All's well that vacays well...

The Awful Truth from Eonline.

Okay, so I don't really speak Ted C fluently but I think he's trying to say these two are (gasp!!) gay.

I am from the Midwest so I have no idea what he means by "sugar-dazzle." Can someone help a girl out?

**mistify** · September 6th, 2006, 01:11 PM

I am with you I have no idea unless sugar dazzle is sugar daddy. And it does sound like he is saying they are bed buddies......

**Laurent** · September 6th, 2006, 01:18 PM

I think all this sugar-dazzle talk is supposed to mean that Lance Armstrong is freeloading off Matthew McConaughey, but only because they're dating/sleeping together.

**buttmunch** · September 6th, 2006, 01:23 PM

I took it to mean that Mathew M. is freeloading off the one-balled wonder. And that the one-balled wonder is going all Brokeback with Jake. But, like others, I need a translator to help me with Ted.

**mistify** · September 6th, 2006, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by buttmunch

I took it to mean that Mathew M. is freeloading off the one-balled wonder. And that the one-balled wonder is going all Brokeback with Jake. But, like others, I need a translator to help me with Ted.

these blind items drive ME CRAZY............

**leapinglilies** · September 6th, 2006, 01:36 PM

it wasnt' a blind item. ted plainly said that matt is mooching off lance and he's implying they're gay.

**buttmunch** · September 6th, 2006, 01:37 PM

And that the one balled wonder has moved to Brokeback Mountain.

**Laurent** · September 6th, 2006, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by Laurent

I think all this sugar-dazzle talk is supposed to mean that Lance Armstrong is freeloading off Matthew McConaughey, but only because they're dating/sleeping together.

Damn, I said Lance was the freeloader, but I re-read it and Matt is sponging off one nut.

**Bellatheball** · September 6th, 2006, 01:45 PM

^^ Right, but the one nut wonder doesn't strike me as the type to like boys. MM and Toothy, sure, but I don't get that vibe from TONW. Course I've been wrong before.