Sheryl Crow Talks About Beating Cancer and Losing Lance Armstrong; Armstrong Talks About Crow
NEW YORK, N.Y.—After family, Sheryl Crow contacted Lance Armstrong when she learned of her breast-cancer diagnosis, reports Vanity Fair contributing editor Frank DiGiacomo. (The August issue of Vanity Fair hits newsstands in New York and Los Angeles on July 5 and nationally July 11.) Armstrong was on a soul-searching solo road trip from Lake Tahoe to Oregon when he got the call, and tells DiGiacomo, "I actually turned around to make the drive to L.A. We talked along the way and she said, 'You know, I just don't think that's a great idea.'" According to Armstrong, Crow told him that as much as she wanted him by her side, she felt "it would be hard on her in trying to manage a breakup and the diagnosis. And I totally understood." So, Armstrong says, he told her, "'Listen, if you need me there, I'll be there in an hour. If you need me to step back and just be a friend and somebody that is always there, I'm on call.' And that stands true today."
Crow tells DiGiacomo, "It was difficult, you know, I know he wanted to be there. I would have loved for him to have swept in and carried me through," she says, but she ultimately realized that she needed to rely on someone else. "When you're in those moments when you're really clinging to a life buoy, you look around and say, 'Who are the people that can really stand up for me? Who can really just be there for me all the way through this—emotionally, unconditionally?' And that was my family."
The breakup was "devastating" for both of them, Crow says. "I do think about Lance every day. And I think about his kids every day." And every so often she gets what she calls a "phantom itch" when something she sees or reads reminds her of an experience they shared. When DiGiacomo asks Crow if the split had something to do with the fact that Armstrong did not share Crow's enthusiasm for starting another family, Crow responds: "It would be easy to say this is all about my wanting to get married and have kids but it was never that simple. It was much deeper than that." Crow refuses to go into further detail about her breakup with Armstrong, telling DiGiacomo in an e-mail: "I will never feel comfortable talking about the private inner workings of my relationships. It just makes my life feel compromised."
"I think we both came to the realization," Armstrong tells DiGiacomo, "that we were at different points of our lives for a variety of reasons—if it was age, if it was careers, or if it was, you know, a whole host of other things. We tried so hard to make it work for a long time."
"I think we still really love each other. I definitely still love him and always will love him," Crow reveals. Armstrong "was, I think, the biggest teacher for me in my life. I learned about myself in that relationship, for better or for worse." Armstrong tells DiGiacomo that the breakup was stressful for him and was one of the reasons he was making the solo drive. It was "this moment of really realizing your life will never be the same again," says Armstrong, but "I have zero regrets." Like Crow, he prefers to look at the positive aspects of the relationship they shared. "I said this when we were together, and I stick with it: I've never loved a woman like I love Sheryl Crow. I had two great years with an awesome lady."
Crow tells DiGiacomo that her cancer diagnosis stunned her. "I'm 44 years old. I got diagnosed with breast cancer. That's shocking," she says. "But I feel like I'm 20. So, to me, it was like, What? Really shocking." Prior to her diagnosis, she says, "my body was a demonstration in how not to look 40. There was a lot of ego attached to it, and I had to let go of all that. Because, literally, for eight weeks, I was sleeping a lot of the day." The fatigue was unsettling to her, because it did not mesh with her 24-7, Taking Care of Business work ethic, writes DiGiacomo. Making room for her treatment, she says, "introduced me to a whole aspect of life, which is: 'When there's nothing to do, do nothing.'"
Crow tells DiGiacomo she was stunned by the outpouring of support that came her way—Bob Dylan sent flowers—and that girlfriends like Laura Dern, Rosanna Arquette, Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, and Kelly Lynch "just totally rose to the occasion and kind of held hospice at my house." Before her diagnosis she was ambivalent about living in L.A., Crow says, but the support led to an epiphany: "Wait a second, I've been looking for a home and I didn't realize where my home really is."
Though she has been given a clean bill of health and will submit to follow-up testing every six months for the next three years, Crow says that doesn't erase the knowledge "that you had it, and might it spread? And might there be a lone cell out there that they didn't get?" When Crow says this, it's the only time during her interview with DiGiacomo that he hears her voice falter.
Since her diagnosis Crow is taking even better care of herself, eating right, she tells DiGiacomo. … She has given up Fritos, sugar, and her beloved breakfasts of doughnuts or "cheesy omelets" and now starts her day with something called Simply Fiber and exists on what she calls an "Eskimo diet," rich in fish, herbs, and colorful vegetables.
As for her career, Crow tells DiGiacomo that she's "been writing like a frantic mad person," and that the next album is "going to be terrifying and wonderful."
Linear Mode
