June 18th, 2006, 09:15 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
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Posts: 9,141
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Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Defamer Exclusive! First Sighting Of Miracle Baby Suri Cruise! Must Credit Defamer's Exclusive First Sighting Of Miracle Baby!
Defamer has exclusively received what may be the first* documented sighting of the Miracle Baby, the heretofore suspiciously unseen newborn daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Writes an operative: Tom brought the Miracle Baby over to the Amblin compound a couple of Fridays ago to take pictures of the baby with Steven Spielberg. Tom brought two giant black SUVs, a couple of REALLY large bodyguards, Katie, and the baby. I saw it (the M.B.) only from afar, but it looks like a regular baby.
Despite this reader's claims that the baby seemed of "regular" size from "afar," we're not yet willing to surrender yesterday's theory that a gene-manipulating accident rendered the child indefinitely unfit for a public viewing. It seems far more likely that Cruise and Holmes merely borrowed a "show" baby (there have to be dozens lying around the lab) to take on a visit to Uncle Steven, momentarily leaving his staff to contend with the 50-foot, diaper-soiling Colossus rampaging through his compound.
[*Unless, of course, someone else has already seen the baby and written about the experience previously. In that eventuality, we still claim that we have exclusively written nearly all of the words you see above.]
http://www.defamer.com/
I like how the 'witness' refers to the baby as "it" instead of "she".
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"The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club
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June 18th, 2006, 09:39 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Suri spotted? What was she doing, shopping for shoes? Or visiting a baseball or soccer game?
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June 18th, 2006, 10:24 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Location: Turning faster than a hooker at a truck stop...
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
I am starting to wonder. Either he is playing this out for as long as he can(generate more publicity for something out in the future) or there is something wrong with Suri. Either way, I still believe Suri is not biologically his.
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Enjoy yourselves bitches!
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June 18th, 2006, 10:32 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by darksithbunny
I am starting to wonder. Either he is playing this out for as long as he can(generate more publicity for something out in the future) or there is something wrong with Suri. Either way, I still believe Suri is not biologically his.
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I won't believe it's his baby until DNA tests prove it. And as far as playing this out forever just to gain publicity - hell, I think the majority of people out there are beginning to care less and less. And what is meant by "the baby seemed regular"?
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June 18th, 2006, 10:33 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Maybe he's mad because no one really cares anymore and the magazines didn't offer him enough money for the first pics.
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June 18th, 2006, 11:30 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Bronze Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 111
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
I thought Steven Spielberg spoke out against Tom Cruise's crazy antics once? Am I mistaken? If not, why would Tom be there?
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June 18th, 2006, 11:41 AM
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#7 (permalink)
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Hit By Ban Bus!
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Posts: 6,835
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
This whole thing is so weird I don't know what to think. It does seem out of character that TomKat wouldn't be showing off their baby at every opportunity.
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June 18th, 2006, 11:42 AM
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#8 (permalink)
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Silver Member
Join Date: May 2006
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Posts: 458
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Ok what is the bid deal if she has some sort of physical deformity she is still a baby and it isn't like we haven't seen a physically deformed baby before. Come on Tom let's she the baby you freaking FREUD.
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June 18th, 2006, 01:31 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,100
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by aabbcc
Maybe he's mad because no one really cares anymore and the magazines didn't offer him enough money for the first pics. 
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Hell, they probably didn't offer him ANY money.
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June 18th, 2006, 06:58 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Elite Member
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
IF there is a baby, there's something wrong with her. They shoved this pregnancy in our faces for almost a year, then Katie "gives birth" to Suri and they just drop off the face of the earth. I still think that the pregnancy was a sham, something went very wrong with the surrogate (such as a miscarriage or stillbirth) and they are laying low while searching for a replacement baby. BUT if she really did have this kid, either it's mentally retarded or physically handicapped (Tom would be terrified to let people know this because it would reflect badly on all of his "Scientology gives us magical powers and Scientology is going to make this baby absolutely perfect" garbage) OR the baby is very obviously not Tom's (like of a different race or something).
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June 18th, 2006, 07:02 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by southernbelle
IF there is a baby, there's something wrong with her. They shoved this pregnancy in our faces for almost a year, then Katie "gives birth" to Suri and they just drop off the face of the earth. I still think that the pregnancy was a sham, something went very wrong with the surrogate (such as a miscarriage or stillbirth) and they are laying low while searching for a replacement baby. BUT if she really did have this kid, either it's mentally retarded or physically handicapped (Tom would be terrified to let people know this because it would reflect badly on all of his "Scientology gives us magical powers and Scientology is going to make this baby absolutely perfect" garbage) OR the baby is very obviously not Tom's (like of a different race or something).
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^You would think that with all his boasting of having a personal ultrasound machine they could've picked up a variety of serious birth defects. That is> IF there ever was a pregnancy that resulted in an actual kid. Perhaps the surrogate had second thoughts?
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***** celeb
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June 18th, 2006, 07:52 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Quotes.........from his stupid films
Show Me The Baby..show me the baby..............
Maybe you cant handle the Truth Tom.........
I got the need .the need to see it. (Top Gun)
Stop acting like f.......retard ....(Rainman)
And show me the baby....
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I'm confused.............no wait....maybe I'm not......
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June 18th, 2006, 08:23 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Sweet Down Under!
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Does anyone want to see pics of their baby? I find myself losing interest more each day!
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June 18th, 2006, 09:49 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Bronze Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Why are people obsessed with this child?
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June 18th, 2006, 10:16 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Re: Suri Cruise may have been spotted (still no pics)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by MsCamden
Why are people obsessed with this child?
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Lots of reasons, I think. first of all, Tom went from being a major player in HW to a certifiable freak, then he was married twice before and neither union resulted in biological children. That is a couple of reasons why people are curious.
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