Tom Cruise really does having a learning disorder.

[buttmunch]

This drivel spewing across the pages of Time was written by Tomthumb himself. This really spells out just how nuts he is. Crazy, incomprehensible shit.

A story this size isn't enough for this man. It's hard to convey with brevity the extraordinary experience of knowing and working with J.J. Abrams. First of all, is there anything in a name—J.J.? Look at the Jays we have now—Jay Leno, J. Lo, Jay-Z—but he's got two Js. He was born to impinge and invade pop culture. Any person who has been exposed to his TV creations Alias or Lost has felt the rapture of his storytelling. He is a story dealer. He delivers what could be called the Lay's of yarns: you can't watch just one. I watched all of Alias' first season in two days, pushing all aside to the near destruction of my personal and business life. I had to tear myself away. They harken back to the classic cliffhangers of early cinema serials, with the bravado of my favorite pulp-fiction novels—the adventure, the characters, all of it. I just couldn't get enough. And in spite of the trepidations of many and sundry movie executives, I knew it was a no-brainer to hire him to direct the third Mission: Impossible. I couldn't wait to work with the Double J. From the very beginning, there was an insouciance that promised anything was possible. He's a creative juggernaut and someone who recognizes the joy of creating. We had great fun laying waste to the specious barriers and the each-person-does-his-own-job structure of filmmaking. J.J., who is just 39, even did three Industrial Light & Magic special-effects shots in the movie personally. He is an actor, writer, director, closet cartoonist, a composer, puppeteer, puzzlemaker, humorist, modelmaker, loving husband to his beautiful wife (can you believe this coincidence?) Katie and father of three glorious children. Gotta give it up for that J2.

Time.com

[bella]

eh?

[Tiara]

[Mel1973]

This guy is a complete and total psycho nut job!

[Sojiita]

He went a little over the top in his praise and some of his word choices but overall it was not THAT bad.*thrashes self with reeds for saying something positive about that little shit*

[Teceth]

If he's not an untreated bipolar, he's missing a good chance.

[Mel1973]

Originally Posted by Sojiita

He went a little over the top in his praise and some of his word choices but overall it was not THAT bad.*thrashes self with reeds for saying something positive about that little shit*

Pass the reed, we'll help you!

[buttmunch]

He went a little over the top in his praise and some of his word choices but overall it was not THAT bad.*thrashes self with reeds for saying something positive about that little shit*

Illiterate twaddle, my dear! The man doesn't seem able to string three words together without making a mockery of the English language. As Gawker said, the only thing that would be worse than reading this would be having to edit it. Imagine the state it was in BEFORE the copy editors got ahold of it. Actually, I'd like to see that....

[Grimmlok]

2 days of tv watching saw the almost total destruction of his personal and professional life?

SOMEONE GET THE MAN SATTELITE

[IceQueen]

Originally Posted by Grimmlok

2 days of tv watching saw the almost total destruction of his personal and professional life?

SOMEONE GET THE MAN SATTELITE

And a Tivo..

How quaint, little man using big words.

[SVZ]

This sounds like a grade 7 essay...

[Lobelia]

Dear Tom:

[Bellatheball]

Damn, this thesauras (shit, did I spell that wrong?) must be used a lot.

[Teceth]

Originally Posted by Lobelia

Dear Tom:

[luvmy2cats]

Lobelia,

Thanks for the bunny w/pancake. I about peed myself laughing so hard at the picture.