April 19th, 2006, 02:42 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Friend of Gossip Rocks!
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Uranus
Posts: 25,968
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Quote:
Suri Holmes Cruise was born last night, as if you didn't know it. The baby of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, conceived two months after they met one year ago, was named Suri, Cruise said in a release, "taken from the Hebrew."
This makes sense, since Cruise is a non-practicing Catholic, who became a Scientologist. To get the name Suri, you actually have to subscribe to Kabbalah, a very distant offshoot of Judaism.
Suri would really be Sarah, except Kabbalah — as it is now taught to celebrities — is all about taking letters and making new words out of them.
Madonna did it on her last tour. Suri is derived from Sarah mathematically. But Sarah, wife of Abraham, mother of Isaac, as some have suggested, is described as the only woman in the Bible who laughed.
Let's hope Suri's life is full of laughter, and that she's raised in a normal environment with lots of opportunities to become the person she wants to be. It's a long shot, but today, after all, is actually the first day of the rest of her life.
Let's also hope her baby pictures aren't auctioned off to a celebrity magazine and that she isn't trotted out for any movie premieres. Indeed, the triple screening run of "Mission: Impossible 3" premieres in two weeks in New York.
Roger Friedman/411
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Notice the statement I bolded? Sounds like a long gestation period to me. And I bet anything he trots Katie out with the kid strapped to her chest in a Baby Björn at the MI3 premier. Or else he'll be flashing pictures and recieving 'messages' from 'Katie'. I thought last year was great watching this crazy midget go round the bend but I have a feeling this is going to be a bumper year for Tomthumb nuttiness. Ok boys in the white coats, look lively and prepare the padded room.
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The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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April 19th, 2006, 02:51 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Do fish have boogers?
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Venus
Posts: 1,000,002,090
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I'm going to name my child Naheemazoorr. I hear it's african, and they're like so spiritual and like jump so high. wow i'm so worldly.
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April 19th, 2006, 03:01 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,823
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In French Suri sounds exactly like "souris" (which is the word for mice), so its quite appropriate for a Tomkat kitten
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April 19th, 2006, 03:03 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Bronze Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 147
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Lol!
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April 19th, 2006, 03:10 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Sea of Tranquility
Posts: 5,140
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Well at least they didn't pull a Nick Cage. He named his son Kal El, after Superman. this sounds like a well chosen name.
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April 19th, 2006, 03:15 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Hit By Ban Bus!
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the sea
Posts: 1,696
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personally .. i know this isnt quite on topic.... but im hoping eminem uses this to write a really clever funny jingle..
i love ems humor in music.. and well .. yeah i cant wait
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April 19th, 2006, 03:17 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,681
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Perez has a different theory:
Sure, the name may mean princess or red rose or alien baby in other languages, but there is a much deeper meaning to the selection by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes of the name Suri for their new creature child.
Suri = Surrey, which is also a region of England, which is where the "deceased" L. Ron Hubbard's home is located and it is the headquarters of Scientology in the UK.
Coincidence??? We think not!
http://www.perezhilton.com/
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April 19th, 2006, 03:22 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Cuntopia
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DVS_one
personally .. i know this isnt quite on topic.... but im hoping eminem uses this to write a really clever funny jingle..
i love ems humor in music.. and well .. yeah i cant wait
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Me Too DVS_one - he has some kind of twisted sense of humor & I love it!
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(516) Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven...
(713) Like that pedo's in heaven...
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April 19th, 2006, 03:26 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Camping with Einstein
Posts: 4,913
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I was singing surrey with the fringe on top last night. Still fits.
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 Drive a car, drive a boat, drive a plane. What does it matter? As long as I'm drunk!
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April 19th, 2006, 03:31 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 23,418
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by vballchica134
Perez has a different theory:
Sure, the name may mean princess or red rose or alien baby in other languages, but there is a much deeper meaning to the selection by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes of the name Suri for their new creature child.
Suri = Surrey, which is also a region of England, which is where the "deceased" L. Ron Hubbard's home is located and it is the headquarters of Scientology in the UK.
Coincidence??? We think not!
http://www.perezhilton.com/
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Oh sweet Jesus! Sounds like we have the truth here!
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April 19th, 2006, 03:55 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Cuntopia
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from tvgasm.com
First Daughter Suri Cruise checked herself into rehab this morning.
This is just the most recent in a series of publicized stumbles for the first families’ only child. You'll remember in 2023 her brief engagement with Sean Preston Federline was cut short under mysterious circumstances when Sean Preston, while on a Scientology retreat, vanished in the woods in what Xenuian authorities called a tragic bear attack.
She entered the spotlight again in January of 2024 when it was reported she was performing a sex act on Senator Lache during the Scientological National Convention officially announcing the parties nomination of her father for the Presidential Race.
She was again scrutinized for being present during the mysterious death of Apple Patrow Martin in 2026, the official cause of which was listed as Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation.
Recently she had come under attack by her own family after she announced a scathing tell all book "Cruising Through Life" whose complete title is purported to be “Cruising Through Life: The Average American Story of a Gay Dad, Bought Mom and Test Tube Baby.”
Suri’s current beaux Corey Haim spoke to the press stating “Please give her the privacy she needs right now to get well in these trying times. She asked I apologize on her behalf to her friends and fans and wants you all to know she is very Suri…hahaha…see what I did there? I’m so funny! America please don’t forget me!”
It comes as little surprise that there has been no comment from the first lady as no one has heard her speak since 2005.
More as this story continues to break.
__________________
(516) Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven...
(713) Like that pedo's in heaven...
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April 19th, 2006, 03:57 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: northwest mississippi
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^^I'm betting she is a 'member' and this is her duty...or she is an outsider who was paid very well...
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THE EASIEST WAY OUT IS THROUGH....
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April 19th, 2006, 03:58 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Turning faster than a hooker at a truck stop...
Posts: 8,157
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LOL. Great find, Mel.
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Enjoy yourselves bitches!
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April 19th, 2006, 04:07 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,433
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by vballchica134
Perez has a different theory:
Sure, the name may mean princess or red rose or alien baby in other languages, but there is a much deeper meaning to the selection by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes of the name Suri for their new creature child.
Suri = Surrey, which is also a region of England, which is where the "deceased" L. Ron Hubbard's home is located and it is the headquarters of Scientology in the UK.
Coincidence??? We think not!
http://www.perezhilton.com/
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WHOA>
__________________
He who knows does not speak.
He who speaks does not know.
Lao-tzu
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April 19th, 2006, 04:31 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: The Neverlands
Posts: 6,918
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Thomas Mapother Cruise, ur an idiot and YOU SHOOT BLANKS.
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Im ashamed to say what I did for a klondike bar...
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