Doctors slam Tom Cruise and his magical ultra sound machine.

buttmunch · April 18th, 2006, 05:01 AM

Quote:

It looks like Tom Cruise is more popular with Scientologists than with radiologists.
Yesterday, the American College of Radiology (ACR) slammed the actor for doing at-home ultrasounds.

"Cruise's claim to be qualified to perform unsupervised ultrasound exams on his fiancé, Katie Holmes, because he 'read the manual' that came with the machine is irresponsible, potentially dangerous, and ... may incorrectly influence others to place their unborn children at risk by performing such exams with no medical supervision," the college said in a statement.

Cruise told Barbara Walters in November that he had bought a $200,000 ultrasound scanner for home use. But the machine causes vibrations and a rise in body-tissue temperature, which could pose risks.

A spokesman for Cruise declined to comment.

But ACR Chairman James P. Borgstede said doctors "receive years of specialized education and training in order to safely and effectively perform these exams. Others should not think that unsupervised use of medical equipment is completely safe and should, under no circumstances ... emulate Mr. Cruise's reported unsupervised use of ultrasound equipment."

Yo' momma!

nydailynews.com

heather.rn · April 18th, 2006, 05:17 AM

You can't hurt the baby if she's not pregnant!

buttmunch · April 18th, 2006, 05:24 AM

Fair enough but that machine could knock the stuffing out of that pillow.

Sojiita · April 18th, 2006, 06:03 AM

But I am sure Tom knows the 'history' of medicine...no one else does!!!

buttmunch · April 18th, 2006, 06:12 AM

Don't be glib, Sojiita...it's not good for the complexion.

Mel1973 · April 18th, 2006, 07:13 AM

Actor and Doctor are just a few letters different - so what?? He's probably played a doctor. Which brings my mind to playing doctor - which in reference to tompuss makes me sick!

UndercoverGator · April 18th, 2006, 07:58 AM

Even if it's just pillow the way the ultrasound works raises the tempurature of the meat of your body it's used on. I've been having the flesh of my arm cooked via ultrasound for months now, they use it on me specificallly to heat the flesh nearest the bone for pain relief and I'd hate to think of TomKat cooking that little baby like a roast in a crockpot just because he's nuts.

ultrafabviolet · April 18th, 2006, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UndercoverGator

. . . cooking that little baby like a roast in a crockpot. . . .

LMAO!

(You so FUNNY, UndercoverGator!

)

My first mental image was one of my family sitting down to my mum's Sunday pot roast with potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery. Comfort food, that.

But then, as is always the case with things of the Cruise kind, reality set in. Before I realized what was happening, I was unexpectedly beamed to a box store (THANKS, Scotty!) where I found myself standing alone before a large monolith (turned out to be a stainless steel Whirlpool fridge--their Gold Line, no less, good stuff). . . .

Ever so slowly, I felt a compulsion to "open the door."

I did--ever so slowly. . . .

At first, a razor-thin corona of white light vibrated, where the seal parted, and then engulfed my quiverring body (the quiverring had nothing to do with anything other than it was freaking cold in that store) . . . and . . . there . . . it was: plastic refrigerator food! DAMN! All imagery of my family and what is #4 on my short list of all-time favorite meals became a high-intensity strobe light flashing inside my head, my entire body writhing--like a vintgage lava lamp gone mad--in ecstatic spasms of pain, joy, supreme knowledge, total and complete ignorance, and a general sense of samenes with Oprah and the Ort Belt.

The food I have for so many years revered is in actuality a thinly disguised metaphor for the very source of life and sustenace thereof: plastic.

just like Katie's baby:

The mystery is no more; enlightenment is mine!

I guess this makes me a the-tan.

whoopee.

Thanks, Tom.

Vi

Luna · April 18th, 2006, 10:05 AM

O.k. duh! I finally get it. He had to buy an ultrasound machine to keep the charade of a real baby and he built a hospital delivery room to also conceal there being no baby. So WHERE is this baby going to come from?

ultrafabviolet · April 18th, 2006, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luna

O.k. duh! I finally get it. He had to buy an ultrasound machine to keep the charade of a real baby and he built a hospital delivery room to also conceal there being no baby. So WHERE is this baby going to come from?

Same place Koresh got his from, Luna. Everyone knows scientologists and Branch Davidians have a reciprocity agreement.

Vi

buttmunch · April 18th, 2006, 10:53 AM

Maybe Bradgenlina are scouting for a likely baby candidate in Namibia right now. There would be the color issue but there has to be some coffee plantation heiress who got knocked up by the wrong sort hanging around.