Scientology having trouble recruiting

[teforde23]

I am stunned that such an establised religion is finding new members. They'll be forced to start recruiting people that makes six figures instead of seven

March 26, 2006 -- AUSTRALIAN billion-heir James Packer is the great hope for Scientology's future.

According to several Hollywood insiders, the Church of Scientology - which preaches that alien souls, sent by evil alien lord Xenu, are trapped inside us and have to be removed using an "e-meter" - is having difficulty attracting new members.

"There are other things people are interested in joining now, like Kaballah," said one Hollywooder.

Without new recruits, cash flow is an issue.

"There are the big earners like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Kirstie Alley, but even they don't earn like they used to," the source said.

That's where Packer comes in. Four years ago, while filming "The Last Samurai," Cruise struck up a friendship with Packer - whose father, Kerry, was the richest man in Australia until his death last year - and led him to Scientology.

"James Packer was spotted around a Scientology campus in Australia, has made frequent trips to Los Angeles, where Scientology is headquartered, and reportedly spent time in Scientology counseling sessions in Sydney - and Tom Cruise is his pal," Cultnews.com's Rick Ross told Jeannette Walls.

"The thinking is that Cruise has groomed this guy to be a big giver to follow in Cruise's footsteps."

Meanwhile, as the Scientologists search for more money, they may have blundered in the case of Isaac Hayes, who made good money as the voice of Chef on "South Park." The actor was forced to quit the show earlier this month when a fellow Scientologist issued a release on his behalf claiming he couldn't stand by while the "Trapped in the Closet" episode, poking fun at Cruise, Tavolta and Scientology, was aired a second time.

There's evidence that Hayes - who has been recovering from a stroke - did not agree with the statement issued on his behalf.

During a trip to the "Opie & Anthony" show on XM radio in December, when Hayes was asked about the "Trapped in the Closet" episode, he replied, "Well, one thing about ["South Park" creators] Matt [Stone] and Trey [Parker], they lampoon everybody. And if you take that [bleep] serious, then I'll sell you the Brooklyn Bridge for $2. That's what they do."

[al_babe]

is anyone else afraid that tomkat will name their kid L. Ron?

[aabbcc]

Elron Thomas My-Dad-Is-All-That-And-A-Bag-Of-Chips Mapother.

It's a fine name!

[DeChayz]

"There are other things people are interested in joining now, like Kaballah," said one Hollywooder.

And welcome back to 2003, people.

[Karizma]

so i don't get it, is Issac Hayes in or out of South Park?

[darksithbunny]

I thought he was outta there?

[moomies]

I'd rather Madge recruit more rich bimbos for Kaballah than Tom Cruise impregnate women with pillows.

[pacific breeze]

Loony control freak Tom hasn't done much for Scientology's "image" either.

[glamazon]

I saac hayes got played. He may be a scientologist, but he's a black dude from the 70's first. If he didn't have that stroke, then I'm sure he would have bust up soem Scientologists right quick.

Besides, I'm sure he's not that into it, seeing as he has a stroke, and Scientology is supposed to prevent that....

[Grimmlok]

He might have been neglectful with the vitamins

[A*O]

You fools! Isaac just has some extra mean mofo body thetans infesting his weak and pathetic human body. Bwaaaaaahahahaha