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Thread: Surviving Whole Foods (This is Hysterical!)

  1. #31
    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Oh no, they know everything and you do not. Did you get a special class on a brand roll out and take modules on whatever the fuck from your HR Team Lead/Team Member Benefits Coordinator? Of course not, so you just don't know. According to the attitude of someone very close to me that has been thoroughly indoctrinated in the Whole Foods Brand, they're well ahead of everyone on what is good and bad, they can't help but know better. Gargh.
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

    Fuck you all, I'm going viral.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beeyotch View Post
    Thank fuck I haven't run into that forced intimacy thing with our WF here, just the regular "Can I help you find anything" deal. Too many people in there for them to have time to do that hardcore I figure. I hate when other grocery employees comment on purchases--YES, I booze and the same fattening shit everytime, and NO I don't want to talk to you about it, just bag it and fuck off tyvm. It's happened at Trader Joe's mostly.
    Yeah, TJ is big on the forced intimacy. It's part of their whole employee involvement program, which I've heard is VERY popular with people who work there. TJ offers a whole range of employee benefits that no other store does. I will say people there recognize me and have gone out of their way to help me. It doesn't "feel" as fake or corporate as WF employees who can't shut up with the questions about your purchases and life.

    eta: The worst forced intimacy experiences are at big corp pet stores right now. Every cashier asked what kind of dog/cat/rat you own with the flattest affect, completely bored out of their minds.
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  3. #33
    Elite Member Bluebonnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MmeVertigina View Post
    Sooo funny! Thanks for sharing this. Our Whole Foods plays classic rock, go figure.
    I wore a Moody Blues concert t-shirt in a Whole Foods once and about 4 people came up to me and said "Cool, man!" LOL!
    BoogsBun, olivia and MmeVertigina like this.
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  4. #34
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    Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke disoriented and with the newfound knowledge there. My friend works at Whole Foods in North Carolina. I do not like Surviving Whole Foods.


  5. #35
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    ^^ I think surviving Whole Foods is a lot better than dying there...
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  6. #36
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebonnet View Post
    Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge
    Quote Originally Posted by Brookie View Post
    A friend of mine who works at a Whole Foods in North Carolina
    Quote Originally Posted by Dany View Post
    Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke disoriented and with the newfound knowledge there. My friend works at Whole Foods in North Carolina. I do not like Surviving Whole Foods.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

  7. #37
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    I've been plagiarized!!!!!!!
    twitchy2.0, Beeyotch and dexter7 like this.
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  8. #38
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Hey, does anybody else feel that visiting Whole Foods is like going to Vegas?

  9. #39
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    No, but last time I was in Vegas, I could have SWORN I was in Whole Foods!
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
    Laugh Uncontrollably. And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.

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  10. #40
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brookie View Post
    No, but last time I was in Vegas, I could have SWORN I was in Whole Foods!
    I think that Vegas totally ripped off the idea of fresh fruit for its slot machines from Whole foods. Doesn't this look like the produce aisle?
    Brookie, Witchywoman and dexter7 like this.

  11. #41
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Yes, there's one of those crunchy apples. Four of them!
    MohandasKGanja likes this.
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
    Laugh Uncontrollably. And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.

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  12. #42
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    I think I saw a Vegas slot machine with pictures of antibiotic-free meat in it. Still trying to find that one. And the bulk organic tea roulette wheel.
    Brookie likes this.

  13. #43
    Elite Member Witchywoman's Avatar
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    I love WF, they play classic rock and no one has ever bothered me there. See celebs from time to time, Sally Fields, Marcia Cross, Derek Hough, Linda Gray to name a few. They have great specials every week. It's my kind of town Whole foods is.

  14. #44
    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Shit, I'll organize an intervention! The 365 brand is decent cost and ingredient wise...but I still hate that place.
    Lalique likes this.
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

    Fuck you all, I'm going viral.

  15. #45
    Elite Member Lalique's Avatar
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    Last week as my husband and I were driving home I remembered that I needed barbecue sauce to make dinner. Since we were close to WFs I made Mr. Lalique run in to get it. He texted me from the store: WTF kind of hippy, overpriced store is this?
    What I really want to know is whether it makes your poop glow in the dark after eating it! ~ Kittylady

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